The Missing Link

Thanks to a good friend down south who lent me a book, and inspired by this post, I thought I would write my thoughts on something that could be described as a problem in today's church as we know it.[1]

Firstly, I have to put these questions out there, before I have a crack at giving my thoughts and opinions on them: Where are all the men? Where are those within the 20-30 age bracket?

Where are all the Men?
On the Sunday just been, I decided to do a little observation at the morning service of my church. My purpose: To check out the demographics of those who were in attendance. Although it was only one service, I noticed that there was a lack of men. Now, there were older men; men of around 50 upwards. But in terms of those within the late 20's to late 30's/early 40's, I was struggling to make a head count. The reasoning behind such an observation?

I recently finished reading the book Why Men Hate Going To Church. Now, with a title like that, you gotta wonder what the author is going on about. What I found, page after page, was nothing more than resonance. As I read through each part and chapter, I continually thought of my own church, and wondered what they have in the way of ministries/programmes (or whatever you want to call them) that men can participate in in order for them to express themselves as men. Now, I'm not talking about things like a weekly Paintball ministry, or Wrestling ministry or things to that effect. But a short flick through my church's (or perhaps, even most churches) web site and, in flicking through the various ministries that operate, one will notice that the roles are more easily defined for women to actively participate in.

Now, some might say that there are plenty of opportunities to serve in the church for men, if only they would get off their butts and apply. While there are grains of truth there, again, I would ask, in such roles could they freely serve as Men? Or do they have to supress all that it means to be male, made in the image of God? In other words, can somebody see a sports-mad publican (not alcoholic) taking care of toddlers in a nursery? Or a North Cantabrian farmer taking part in a bake sale?

In saying this, my church does have a small Men's ministry representation. However, looking at the notices or the site, one would be hard pressed to find out about it. In the seven years I have attended my church, I have heard stuff relating to Men's ministries only three times. Ever. I am also aware that recently that someone whose passionate about Men's ministries (who attends my church also) has tried to build up something of a more overt representation; to get the word out to men that there IS a ministry designed specifically for them! This was over a month ago. Nothing.

Where are all the 20-Somethings?
For me, and countless others, this decade of one's life is probably the most important. It is the age where we as individuals make our life choices. Do we attend University? If we do, what do we study, and how do we fund our study? Who will I get married to? Will I get married at all? What about an OE? What do I want to do with my life?

During this phase of life, it is a time of great decision making, the likes of which determine the outcome of one's entire life. Because it is a time of immense, seismic change in a person (particularly if you throw searching for identity into the mix), such an age group needs people to disciple them, look out for them, mentor them, help them in this turbulent transition. Yet...does such a ministry exist for these aspiring young people within the church? At my church, such a place did exist...but that was many years ago.

I am currently 25 at the time of writing this, and even though most of the above questions have been answered in my own life, I still face constant battles with what else to do with my life. On a plus side, it is a comfort that I am surrounded by awesome friends and the most wonderful woman in the world, to spur me on when things get down. I believe, personally, that something akin to this is needed in the church, if the church wish to be effective in reaching out to this age group, irrespective of gender. With all that happens in those ten years (and boy do they move quickly!), we need people who will guide us on the straight path, neither turning to the left nor to the right.

Notes
[1] I write "as we know it" because, maybe, we as Christians need to rethink our definition of what "church" is. Is it a place where we meet to sing songs, listen to messages, and add a little "I went to Church" checkmark in a box? Or is it something bigger than all of that?