Quandaric Honesty

I have had on my heart a bit of a struggle for a while. However, it is only recently that it has come to a head, and I find myself faced with it eyeball-to-eyeball.

For nearly seven years I have been following Jesus, and He has lead me through all sorts of high points and low points, growing me incrementally each and every day (which is all good in my books). However, I have given this post its title because I feel I have a quandary, and yet I must remain up front and honest. So here goes...

My quandary is to do with how I live out my faith and what my "Christianity" looks like. Most people would agree that a large part of Christianity is to 'reach out and save the lost' (citing Matthew 28:20). Still others would agree that Christianity is to do with siding with the poor and the destitute, supporting them and lifting them up. Again others would agree that Christianity is about going into all the world, sending missionaries hand over fist (again Matthew 28:20; Acts 1:8).

My honesty is that "my" Christianity does not look much less feel like that. I do not have a heart for going into all the world, reaching out and saving the lost, and siding with the poor and destitute. Now, what I am not saying is that I am some sort of heartless, compassionless beast. But I want to share with you what I believe is another piece of the Christian jigsaw: Freeing people to be who they truly are.

On that note, who I truly am is not to do with evangelism, missionary endeavour, or going out into areas wrought with poverty. Though I do not ignore these three calls of Christianity, nevertheless who I truly am is in the area of Discipleship: coming alongside the believer and helping them grow in their faith. While some churches are into quantity, I am into quality.

Back to the quandary, the issue is that for the outsider, this might seem like I am not a "real" Christian; that I have a heartless faith and thus not even a true Christian at all. But for me, to enter into the three areas listed previously would seem like "manipulation" to me; becoming something that I am not. Like I said, I do not want to discount evangelism, mission and the poor, and I have the utmost respect for those whose calling lies with them. I am saying that where I am at is an entirely different kettle of fish; that this is who I truly am. This is what my Christianity looks like.

Would love people's thoughts on this one. Let me know what you think, but please do me one small favour...leave your labels behind.

From the Soapbox (Test Match Debut)

For regular visitors, From the Soapbox would seem something of a random thing to stick in a blog...and you would probably be correct. But anywho, From the Soapbox is me coming across a question or an issue, and sticking it up as a post for all to see and discuss. As much as I could write my thoughts on pressing issues (as I often do), I want you guys and gals to share your thoughts with me on Cyberspace, if you wish to do so.

For my first ever From the Soapbox, this is an issue that pulls a lot of heart strings for me. How would you respond to the following quote from Paul Little? Contextual note: The quote is in response to the question of "Wouldn't it be better if God did away with all evil immediately?"

"If God were to stamp out evil today, he would do a complete job. His action would have to include our lies and personal impurities, our lack of love, and our failure to do good. Suppose God were to decree that at midnight tonight all evil would be removed from the universe - who of us would still be here after midnight?"

In Honour of September 11

Six years ago, the face of the world changed;
Six years ago, the world would never be the same.
Six years ago, and it is still firmly lodged in our minds;
Six years ago, and yet it feels like yesterday.

Despite the war on terror that ensued;
Despite the threats of extremism ever looming;
Despite the exchange of words of those in the political realms;
Despite whatever we may make of this horrific tragedy...

Let us never forget
The unity that such a tragedy as this
Brought to humankind.

Even for one day...

Life After College

As I march ever closer toward the completion of my studies, I cannot help but ponder a number of questions. It has been nearly a full three years since I embarked on an academic journey that I never thought I would ever undertake in my life. Nevertheless, here I am, nearly three years on, there is one thing I need to think about, and that is my life after College.

My current plan is this. After the end of November, I plan to return to my current work on a full-time basis. During the time I am at work, I will be using this time to think, reflect, pray, and seek guidance as to the "Where to from here?" question; namely, now that I have this degree, where do I wish to apply myself, ecclesiastically speaking? What Church do I see myself working within? What Church would God have me working within?

At the moment, I feel I need to take a backward step as it were, and examine what changes have occured once I graduate. For at one time, I had no qualification; now I will have slogged three years of my life to attain a Ministry degree, and I feel I need to examine what has changed in my life. I need to seek what new opportunities previously did not exist prior to my studies, and seek prayerful guidance as to what to do with said opportunities. Added to this is the fact that I am getting married in March 2008, so a lot is going to be different in my life, and thus another factor I need to consider.

Much meditation and reflection needed, methinks.

"Good Enough Stand"

What an interesting morning it has been today for ol' me.

Today I had a lecture (on Friday of all days...) for Theology C, but put myself down as an 'explained absentee', due to my paid working commitments at Window Treatments. Unfortunately, neither of these two happened for me - whatever flu bug has been going round Christchurch *finally* found its way to me. And so here I am, at home, blocked, sore, and generally not feeling at all motivated.

So today, stuck at home, I took the chance to finish the upgrades I did to my computer. I bought a new 320GB hard drive to replace my two existing HDDs (totalling a mere 110GB), which meant that I had to reinstall everything. All my Windows XP updates, my antivirus software...everything! Thankfully though, I kept a backup of my 'irreplaceables', especially my BCNZ study stuff. Can't afford to lose those!

In trying to install Norton AntiVirus 2005, I found that I could not activate the software, because I had reached the maximum installations on my antivirus' product key. So I went to their website and entered a live chat session with an 'analyst'; a "Mr. Fix-it" fella, who got me back up and running again.

What I didn't bank on, was the fact that the analyst, whose name is Peter, is a Christian. After going through the processes of activating my software via his instructions, knowing that I have a head cold, he said that I was in his prayers. Touching =)
As a gesture of thanks to his valuable Norton assistance, and because I wanted to, I asked him if there was anything I could pray for. This was his reply, word for word. It's worth thinking about...

"To be good enough stand before when the lord comes in final day."

Such was this reply that I wrote it down on a notepad. And it got me thinking, as I hope it has you thinking also. When was the last time we pondered how we stood before the Lord? Do we even know where we stand? Do we even care where we stand?
I would hope that we do care about our standing before the Lord we serve.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

- Matthew 7:21-23 TNIV

The J Man Returneth

My goodness! Where DOES the time go aye? A huge APOLOGY to all those who are (or have been, given the fact that I've either been absent, gone on vacation, or died) frequent visitors to my humble patch of Cyberspace. A lot has been happening in my life; some good, some not so good, and some that are downright depressing. But in any case...here I am, at last, writing again on my little blog spot.

Some good things that have happened in my life, although most people already know them through other means. I've managed to complete semester one of my third and final year more than satisfactorally (to my mind anyhow), and am but three months away from the end of my academic career as a Bachelor's Degree student. Wow, where DOES the time go?

I've also been planning a wedding during this time - yes, that's right, for those who somehow haven't heard, I am engaged =) I have been active in sorting out all the lovely details, both great and small, of what goes into a wedding, and so far there hasn't been very many problems. I sure hope it stays that way; intuition tells me otherwise. Oh well, still all good though.

Some not so good things have been that I've been battling with a sort of "mild depression" over these last three months. Some fellow students may have noticed my absense at college when I should be there for certain lectures. This is due to this mild depression taking my motivation and energy levels to near-zero, and thus leaving me in a sort of paralyzed state. These mild depression moments have come and gone, and seemed to operate on a fortnightly/monthly cycle, lasting for a few days at a time. This depression has made it difficult to live life to the full, especially since I have never in my life had such depression states before. As I write, I write as someone who feels a lot more emotionally stable, as opposed to a month ago, and have been for the last couple of weeks. I hope I can repeat this confident sentence in another couple of months, free from these depression swings.

Other than that, I've been doing the usual college-type stuff: meeting new people, making new friends (hopefully), trying to stay on top of my assessment list, and seeing my degree through to even the bitter end! Roll on graduation; it will be well earned, and I hope I can say that on behalf of everyone I have journeyed with at college.

40 Hour Famine

Phew, it's been awhile since I last posted here. However, before I give an update on how things have been...

This year, I finally get round to doing something that I longed to do for ages...the 40 hour famine! Feel free to catch up with me sometime (if you can) if you'd like to sponser my efforts next weekend, or check out my online famine book at http://www.famine.org.nz/Pastor_J.

In other news, not too much has been happening as of late. I had my birthday on Feb 23, reaching the epoch-making milestone of...24! After a workwide shout of Coupland's savouries, and taking on a suicide level curry at Two Fat Indians (photos of which can be viewed at my Facebook), I could rest assured knowing I had seen 24 in, in style. Anyone who wishes to go to Two Fat Indians, I highly recommend it! And if you're at the Manchester Street one, check out the chalkboard - my name will be up there somewhere =D

My studies have kicked off as of three weeks ago, and the "honeymoon period" is over. In other words, it's head-down, bum-up time! Now that I've scraped into my final year of my degree, I've got every incentive to finish it. As much as I intend on graduating next year, I know it's going to be an uphill battle. But one which I intend to win...

It's Not Worth It

Recently, a couple of cool things happened to me. I thought I’d share one of them. There’s probably a lesson in here for each of us, as there definitely was with me. For those of you who think God doesn’t speak when you’re on the job, think again…

I was at work a couple of weeks ago, and was asked to shift a whole lot of boxes and cardboard tubes around on shelves, each containing roller fabric. I had to dispose of the empty boxes and arrange the full boxes/tubes. Now, had I known I would end up shifting 1.5 tonnes  of roller fabric, I probably would have asked for help. But I managed to get it all done – yay me.
Not long after I had started, one of the office staff came down and asked me to arrange the boxes in order of fabric types, to make it easier for her to search and find them. I wasn’t in the mood for orderly arrangement; I was asked to shift these boxes – 30kg a piece – to a new location to make way for incoming product. In fact, I was wild enough to stop what I was doing, and look for the supervisor that asked me to shift the boxes in the first place, so that he could veto the office worker’s “decision”. I got roughly ¼ of the way, when a voice said to me, “It’s not worth it.”
I stopped walking.
“It’s not worth it.”
I turned around, went back to my lovely, heavy roller fabric, and went about my task, arranging the fabric as well. All I could say in reply was, “You’re right, Lord.”

When I look back on that incident, I can see that I did the right thing in the end. To be honest, when I was told to move the fabric in order, I did get wild (within myself). I was asked to do a job by someone, and then somebody else from the outside thought they could ‘change the rules’, as it were. It is no wonder why I stormed away from the boxes and sought out my supervisor. It is no wonder the Lord stepped in and quelled my anger. You see, I wanted out of anger, possibly out of a revenge motive  for this decision to be vetoed. But I was told, “It’s not worth it”. And it’s not. I could very easily have asked my supervisor to overturn the office worker’s decision, and thus I could have continued with my task unphased. But I probably would have lost the trust of a fellow worker.
The Lord was right. It is not worth it. I’m glad I turned back and went about my business. For all I know, it probably saved a lot of hardship later on.

Finally...!

That's right folks! After years of putting it off, for numerous reasons, I finally took the plunge and as of Thursday 28 December, 2006, I entered the Drivers License Community. I passed my Learner's 33/35 (which is a pass for any class license of your choice, but I only went for the Class 1).
Look out roads...!

The Ultimate Road Trip

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...is to drive to Greymouth to get some Fish 'n' Chips!
Sounds crazy? That's exactly what me and a dedicated team from Opawa did. And below are some photos of THE ultimate road trip!

The Christchurch weather.
The fearless driver!
The Tavern (probably the most prominent building in this 'town').
The place...
The final destination...
The reason we went to Greymouth!
Mission accomplished.