As well as my current blog, I have launched a new blog. Without going into too much detail, you can catch it by clicking on the link on my sidebar, under "My Other Blogs".
Saturday, July 25, 2009
We Are Go For Launch!
As well as my current blog, I have launched a new blog. Without going into too much detail, you can catch it by clicking on the link on my sidebar, under "My Other Blogs".
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Relighting The Flame
This particular post that I am about to write - and consequently, you are about to read - has been a long time coming. This post has been a piece of self-reflection that I have been putting off, been running away from. But not now...
I am talking about "The Sims 2", and all its offshoots and expansions. For those who are not familiar with it, The Sims 2 is a computer game. It is a game that I have had on my computer, available to me for recreation, for the past three years. If you continue reading, lock that time frame in mind: Three Years. This time frame is pertinent to the rest of my post.
I wasn't always a player of this computer game. The first time I saw The Sims 2, I was immediately indignant towards it. I thought it to be a complete waste of time. This was many, many years ago, and of course, I wasn't making informed judgments of the game based on my own gameplay. Rather, it was a classic case of "book by its cover".
Halfway through my second year of Bible College, I had the fortune of flatting with someone who had the base game and a couple of its expansions. Figuring that I needed to know what was so special about The Sims, I decided to give it a crack, to give it a fair hearing, so to speak. Instead of reacting the way I did initially, I warmed to the game immediately. To be more frank, the game got a foothold on me, and with no warning at all, I would be spending many waking hours playing this game.
One reason I am writing this "confession" isn't to give you a history of my gaming prowess, but rather to highlight the side effects that came with playing The Sims to the amount that I played it at. During these past three years since starting playing The Sims, I developed depression-like behaviours and symptoms, which would literally sneak up on me and sideline me without any warning for three days at a time. One day I would be, well...me, and overnight I would become emotionally and cognitively paralyzed. Then, after those three days, I would return to normal again. These three-day patterns would come one every three to four weeks. At their most severest, they would come every two weeks.
However, even when I wasn't moving through one of my three-day motions, I would still exhibit anti-social behaviours. If I wasn't studying toward my degree, I would most likely be in front of my computer, playing you-know-what. During this time, I didn't do alot of social stuff with anyone, save at Bible College, and consequently I withdrew. During my three years, playing this game was sapping my social life away. My extroverted nature was being taken from me.
This gaming addiction (what else can it rightfully be called) also affected my work life too. Because of the mood swings I would experience, the times I fell into a depression state would drastically affect my physical health, as well as my emotional health. I took many, many days off work to recouperate, because my motivation hit lower than rock bottom. Such was the emotional paralysis, I didn't get out of bed some days. When I look back on this, I am surprised I stayed at WT without receiving a single written warning.
But that wasn't all that I lost. I have chosen the title for this post on purpose, because I also lost my flame. When I began College, I began with an energy comparable to the number Googol, but after I heavily got into The Sims, that flame suddenly took back seat, until - over time - it wasn't there at all. Playing a computer game snuffed my fire out.
Now, after three long, emotionally crippling years, I have decided to fight back! These last couple of days, I have been ill (not due to any emotional falling), and have had these days off University. Because I have kicked back and tried to relax, I have had a lot of time to think. And I have decided to rip out of my computer any and all trace of The Sims 2. And as I write this, I can proudly say that there is no presence of the game on my computer! And to be completely honest, when I uninstalled the last element of The Sims, it was like a weight left my entire being. And I look forward to the future, knowing that this bloody game isn't going to be a part of it.
Now, I hope you can recall to mind the length of time I asked you to remember (to help you out: Three Years). Some of you might think of me as a sad, little man, because you may be wondering how something like a computer game could do this. Understand this: ANYTHING can become an addiction. It matters not if it is a computer game, or a drug, or anything. Realise that there are people who are addicted to eating, to drinking, to, well...just about anything. In my case, it was a computer game that took so much from me. And yes, I did lack the willpower to prevent it, but that is the core nature of an addiction: you WON'T have the willpower to prevent it. Addictions take people, and it can take people to the very depths of emptiness. That is precisely what The Sims 2 did to my life. Prior to The Sims, I had NO history of any depression or the like.
Three years is a long time to waste on something like playing a computer game. I could easily have funnelled this time into meaningful pursuits, things that actually mean something. I could have learnt a new hobby. I could have really made a good deal of my studies. I could have invested in my friends, my flatmates, my family, and my fiancee (at that time). Instead, I wasted a lot of time, and as a consequence, lost a lot. Now that I am fighting back, I aim to regain control of my life, of my being.
And I hope and pray that my fire be rekindled, that the passion I once held be returned in full measure. And now that I have reclaimed my time, I hope and pray that it be invested into things that matter, things that ought to be invested in, especially my marriage. The last thing my wife needs, is a husband bent on playing stupid computer games.
And that's the last thing I need too. To The Sims, I say...no more!
I am talking about "The Sims 2", and all its offshoots and expansions. For those who are not familiar with it, The Sims 2 is a computer game. It is a game that I have had on my computer, available to me for recreation, for the past three years. If you continue reading, lock that time frame in mind: Three Years. This time frame is pertinent to the rest of my post.
I wasn't always a player of this computer game. The first time I saw The Sims 2, I was immediately indignant towards it. I thought it to be a complete waste of time. This was many, many years ago, and of course, I wasn't making informed judgments of the game based on my own gameplay. Rather, it was a classic case of "book by its cover".
Halfway through my second year of Bible College, I had the fortune of flatting with someone who had the base game and a couple of its expansions. Figuring that I needed to know what was so special about The Sims, I decided to give it a crack, to give it a fair hearing, so to speak. Instead of reacting the way I did initially, I warmed to the game immediately. To be more frank, the game got a foothold on me, and with no warning at all, I would be spending many waking hours playing this game.
One reason I am writing this "confession" isn't to give you a history of my gaming prowess, but rather to highlight the side effects that came with playing The Sims to the amount that I played it at. During these past three years since starting playing The Sims, I developed depression-like behaviours and symptoms, which would literally sneak up on me and sideline me without any warning for three days at a time. One day I would be, well...me, and overnight I would become emotionally and cognitively paralyzed. Then, after those three days, I would return to normal again. These three-day patterns would come one every three to four weeks. At their most severest, they would come every two weeks.
However, even when I wasn't moving through one of my three-day motions, I would still exhibit anti-social behaviours. If I wasn't studying toward my degree, I would most likely be in front of my computer, playing you-know-what. During this time, I didn't do alot of social stuff with anyone, save at Bible College, and consequently I withdrew. During my three years, playing this game was sapping my social life away. My extroverted nature was being taken from me.
This gaming addiction (what else can it rightfully be called) also affected my work life too. Because of the mood swings I would experience, the times I fell into a depression state would drastically affect my physical health, as well as my emotional health. I took many, many days off work to recouperate, because my motivation hit lower than rock bottom. Such was the emotional paralysis, I didn't get out of bed some days. When I look back on this, I am surprised I stayed at WT without receiving a single written warning.
But that wasn't all that I lost. I have chosen the title for this post on purpose, because I also lost my flame. When I began College, I began with an energy comparable to the number Googol, but after I heavily got into The Sims, that flame suddenly took back seat, until - over time - it wasn't there at all. Playing a computer game snuffed my fire out.
Now, after three long, emotionally crippling years, I have decided to fight back! These last couple of days, I have been ill (not due to any emotional falling), and have had these days off University. Because I have kicked back and tried to relax, I have had a lot of time to think. And I have decided to rip out of my computer any and all trace of The Sims 2. And as I write this, I can proudly say that there is no presence of the game on my computer! And to be completely honest, when I uninstalled the last element of The Sims, it was like a weight left my entire being. And I look forward to the future, knowing that this bloody game isn't going to be a part of it.
Now, I hope you can recall to mind the length of time I asked you to remember (to help you out: Three Years). Some of you might think of me as a sad, little man, because you may be wondering how something like a computer game could do this. Understand this: ANYTHING can become an addiction. It matters not if it is a computer game, or a drug, or anything. Realise that there are people who are addicted to eating, to drinking, to, well...just about anything. In my case, it was a computer game that took so much from me. And yes, I did lack the willpower to prevent it, but that is the core nature of an addiction: you WON'T have the willpower to prevent it. Addictions take people, and it can take people to the very depths of emptiness. That is precisely what The Sims 2 did to my life. Prior to The Sims, I had NO history of any depression or the like.
Three years is a long time to waste on something like playing a computer game. I could easily have funnelled this time into meaningful pursuits, things that actually mean something. I could have learnt a new hobby. I could have really made a good deal of my studies. I could have invested in my friends, my flatmates, my family, and my fiancee (at that time). Instead, I wasted a lot of time, and as a consequence, lost a lot. Now that I am fighting back, I aim to regain control of my life, of my being.
And I hope and pray that my fire be rekindled, that the passion I once held be returned in full measure. And now that I have reclaimed my time, I hope and pray that it be invested into things that matter, things that ought to be invested in, especially my marriage. The last thing my wife needs, is a husband bent on playing stupid computer games.
And that's the last thing I need too. To The Sims, I say...no more!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Reconciling Justice
It has been with interest that I have been listening and keeping track of the Sophie Elliot trial. Personally, I cannot for the life of me work out how a person, irrespective of social position, can stab anyone more than 200 times and claim a plea of manslaughter. I can only hope and pray that, in the end, justice will win out, and the Elliot family can gain at least some closure from all of this.
Sometimes, justice is hard to reconcile in light of my walk with Christ. Not that I have had any problem with justice. I certainly think and believe that justice fits into the framework of Christianity quite well. But for me, the problem of reconciling justice to Christianity stems from those who spout a pseudo-unconditional love, whereby it seems to cover EVERYTHING, no matter what 'it' is.
Let me illustrate my last sentence. Suppose it is midnight, and somebody breaks into your house, presumably to plunder your goods. Now you, the erstwhile homeowner, would interpret this scenario - correctly - as a threat to your family. What if the perpetrator also has ill intentions to rape your partner? Would you, in the name of Christlikeness, attempt to witness to this perp on the spot, and, because of the fear of the law, allow the perp to carry out their evil scheme?
I would dear hope that your answer would be a resounding "no". Yet, there are believers out there, albeit with all good intentions, who believe in a type of unconditional love that is actually an unconditional forgiveness. The two are quite, quite different. Unconditional love is loving the person, despite their imperfections. Unconditional forgiveness is the willingness to overlook their imperfections, even if it comes at a cost to ourselves. Of course, a strong Liberal persuasion have asked the question, "Why did Jesus have to go to the Cross? Couldn't God just simply forgive sins?" This is an argument pitting Unconditional Love against Unconditional Forgiveness. The Cross, thank God, honours the former of the two. It also demonstrates that, while love abounds in the nature of God, He cannot simply overlook sin. At the cross, justice triumphs, and also serves to us, His followers, to remind us that God takes sin seriously. So seriously, in fact, that it cost Jesus his life.
Unconditional Forgiveness, conversely, does not honour justice. It says that if a wrong is committed, then reparation will not be made for the wrong. Victims are denied closure, and perpetrators receive the message that they can do whatever they desire, knowing that forgiveness is just around the corner, ready to wipe the slate clean. It says that your partner can be raped, at no cost to the perp, and at a dreadful cost to you and your family.
Thankfully, I love the fact that I have God's unconditional love; for although He loves me just as I am, He will still on a daily basis hold me to account. Love and justice, hand in hand.
Just a few random thoughts. Time for me to head off to bed where it's warm.
Sometimes, justice is hard to reconcile in light of my walk with Christ. Not that I have had any problem with justice. I certainly think and believe that justice fits into the framework of Christianity quite well. But for me, the problem of reconciling justice to Christianity stems from those who spout a pseudo-unconditional love, whereby it seems to cover EVERYTHING, no matter what 'it' is.
Let me illustrate my last sentence. Suppose it is midnight, and somebody breaks into your house, presumably to plunder your goods. Now you, the erstwhile homeowner, would interpret this scenario - correctly - as a threat to your family. What if the perpetrator also has ill intentions to rape your partner? Would you, in the name of Christlikeness, attempt to witness to this perp on the spot, and, because of the fear of the law, allow the perp to carry out their evil scheme?
I would dear hope that your answer would be a resounding "no". Yet, there are believers out there, albeit with all good intentions, who believe in a type of unconditional love that is actually an unconditional forgiveness. The two are quite, quite different. Unconditional love is loving the person, despite their imperfections. Unconditional forgiveness is the willingness to overlook their imperfections, even if it comes at a cost to ourselves. Of course, a strong Liberal persuasion have asked the question, "Why did Jesus have to go to the Cross? Couldn't God just simply forgive sins?" This is an argument pitting Unconditional Love against Unconditional Forgiveness. The Cross, thank God, honours the former of the two. It also demonstrates that, while love abounds in the nature of God, He cannot simply overlook sin. At the cross, justice triumphs, and also serves to us, His followers, to remind us that God takes sin seriously. So seriously, in fact, that it cost Jesus his life.
Unconditional Forgiveness, conversely, does not honour justice. It says that if a wrong is committed, then reparation will not be made for the wrong. Victims are denied closure, and perpetrators receive the message that they can do whatever they desire, knowing that forgiveness is just around the corner, ready to wipe the slate clean. It says that your partner can be raped, at no cost to the perp, and at a dreadful cost to you and your family.
Thankfully, I love the fact that I have God's unconditional love; for although He loves me just as I am, He will still on a daily basis hold me to account. Love and justice, hand in hand.
Just a few random thoughts. Time for me to head off to bed where it's warm.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Still Alive and Seemingly Well
My good grief, it sure has been awhile since I actually wrote on this thing. To be perfectly honest and frank, it's been a looooooonnnnngggg time since I even thought about the world of the Blogosphere. But, here I am, apparently back again; back behind the keyboard and still typing strong.
What's been happening...let's see...since I graduated from Laidlaw College (formerly Bible College of New Zealand, of which it was called during my tenure), I returned to my old place of employment, Window Treatments, for another small stint of the full-time wage thing. However, this period would only last a year, for during my time back in the WT saddle (whereupon I was 'promoted' to a new position), I got thinking about my future again. Given what I was doing at WT, I didn't want to still be there after five years, having worked hard but gotten absolutely nowhere. So I decided to do something quite spectacular and unprecedented - I quit WT and left for the University of Canterbury.
And, as you can imagine, university commitments have been taking up quite a lot of my time.
As I write this post, I have completed (successfully I believe) my first semester of university, and after this weekend I will be back again for part two of my first year, recommencing my BSc degree with a "healthy" round of:
- Calculus
- Physics (see next paragraph)
- Computer Science
- Statistics
Physics is the surprise subject, given the fact that when I started my degree I didn't plan on continuing in Physics. But after I completed the introductory paper, I found that I loved it, so it became something of an easy choice to make. Watch this space...
Anyways, this is a post letting you all know that I am still out there. Hopefully I can be a bit more prudent in making future posts.
Peace out!
What's been happening...let's see...since I graduated from Laidlaw College (formerly Bible College of New Zealand, of which it was called during my tenure), I returned to my old place of employment, Window Treatments, for another small stint of the full-time wage thing. However, this period would only last a year, for during my time back in the WT saddle (whereupon I was 'promoted' to a new position), I got thinking about my future again. Given what I was doing at WT, I didn't want to still be there after five years, having worked hard but gotten absolutely nowhere. So I decided to do something quite spectacular and unprecedented - I quit WT and left for the University of Canterbury.
And, as you can imagine, university commitments have been taking up quite a lot of my time.
As I write this post, I have completed (successfully I believe) my first semester of university, and after this weekend I will be back again for part two of my first year, recommencing my BSc degree with a "healthy" round of:
- Calculus
- Physics (see next paragraph)
- Computer Science
- Statistics
Physics is the surprise subject, given the fact that when I started my degree I didn't plan on continuing in Physics. But after I completed the introductory paper, I found that I loved it, so it became something of an easy choice to make. Watch this space...
Anyways, this is a post letting you all know that I am still out there. Hopefully I can be a bit more prudent in making future posts.
Peace out!
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