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Thanks to a good friend down south who lent me a book, and inspired by this post, I thought I would write my thoughts on something that could be described as a problem in today's church as we know it.[1]
Firstly, I have to put these questions out there, before I have a crack at giving my thoughts and opinions on them: Where are all the men? Where are those within the 20-30 age bracket?
Where are all the Men?
On the Sunday just been, I decided to do a little observation at the morning service of my church. My purpose: To check out the demographics of those who were in attendance. Although it was only one service, I noticed that there was a lack of men. Now, there were older men; men of around 50 upwards. But in terms of those within the late 20's to late 30's/early 40's, I was struggling to make a head count. The reasoning behind such an observation?
I recently finished reading the book Why Men Hate Going To Church. Now, with a title like that, you gotta wonder what the author is going on about. What I found, page after page, was nothing more than resonance. As I read through each part and chapter, I continually thought of my own church, and wondered what they have in the way of ministries/programmes (or whatever you want to call them) that men can participate in in order for them to express themselves as men. Now, I'm not talking about things like a weekly Paintball ministry, or Wrestling ministry or things to that effect. But a short flick through my church's (or perhaps, even most churches) web site and, in flicking through the various ministries that operate, one will notice that the roles are more easily defined for women to actively participate in.
Now, some might say that there are plenty of opportunities to serve in the church for men, if only they would get off their butts and apply. While there are grains of truth there, again, I would ask, in such roles could they freely serve as Men? Or do they have to supress all that it means to be male, made in the image of God? In other words, can somebody see a sports-mad publican (not alcoholic) taking care of toddlers in a nursery? Or a North Cantabrian farmer taking part in a bake sale?
In saying this, my church does have a small Men's ministry representation. However, looking at the notices or the site, one would be hard pressed to find out about it. In the seven years I have attended my church, I have heard stuff relating to Men's ministries only three times. Ever. I am also aware that recently that someone whose passionate about Men's ministries (who attends my church also) has tried to build up something of a more overt representation; to get the word out to men that there IS a ministry designed specifically for them! This was over a month ago. Nothing.
Where are all the 20-Somethings?
For me, and countless others, this decade of one's life is probably the most important. It is the age where we as individuals make our life choices. Do we attend University? If we do, what do we study, and how do we fund our study? Who will I get married to? Will I get married at all? What about an OE? What do I want to do with my life?
During this phase of life, it is a time of great decision making, the likes of which determine the outcome of one's entire life. Because it is a time of immense, seismic change in a person (particularly if you throw searching for identity into the mix), such an age group needs people to disciple them, look out for them, mentor them, help them in this turbulent transition. Yet...does such a ministry exist for these aspiring young people within the church? At my church, such a place did exist...but that was many years ago.
I am currently 25 at the time of writing this, and even though most of the above questions have been answered in my own life, I still face constant battles with what else to do with my life. On a plus side, it is a comfort that I am surrounded by awesome friends and the most wonderful woman in the world, to spur me on when things get down. I believe, personally, that something akin to this is needed in the church, if the church wish to be effective in reaching out to this age group, irrespective of gender. With all that happens in those ten years (and boy do they move quickly!), we need people who will guide us on the straight path, neither turning to the left nor to the right.
Notes
[1] I write "as we know it" because, maybe, we as Christians need to rethink our definition of what "church" is. Is it a place where we meet to sing songs, listen to messages, and add a little "I went to Church" checkmark in a box? Or is it something bigger than all of that?
Got a bit adventurous with my video editing software...
Here's a short movie clip of me with a Sith Lightsaber in my lounge. It's a little 'choppy', but for my first real attempt at creating such a video, it's not too shabby, really.
Video Size: 3.75MB
Since I wrote my post Full Circle, there have been a couple of developments that have arisen. One involves the University of Canterbury; the other involves Joyce Meyer.
Firstly, even before I wrote Full Circle, I had been frequently visiting the Seek website, checking out possibilities for future jobs. While there is currently nothing on the horizon, it has been good seeing what is out there. Aside from Seek, I have also been frequenting - moreso - the Canterbury University website. I have been going there to check out possibilities in "bettering myself"; getting a further qualification that could pave the way for bigger and better opportunities.
Secondly, my wife and I attended the GirlTalk event at the WestpacTrust Centre on Sunday night. Realising the name of the event (GirlTalk), there were a surprisingly good amount of men in attendance. As well as a fantastic performance by Parachute Band, Joyce Meyer was the keynote speaker. Now, I am quite allergic to anything resembling Pentecostalism [1] (for a number of personal reasons which I won't go into here), and accompanied my wife with a little tinge of apprehension. However, what I found was quite a solid, common sense message that didn't smack of veiled Pentecostalism. While I may be wary with regard to some of the things Pentecostalism claims, I found that I had no need to be wary at GirlTalk. If anything, I found it to be a most fantastic event, and I also managed to bump into some college buddies who attended as well. All in all, it was more than worth it to attend.
[1] Note that I am making a marked distinction between Pentecostalism and those who attend Pentecostal-denominated churches. One day I might write a post explaining why I am not so keen on Pentecostalism.
Some time ago, I attended a Men's Breakfast organised by the blokes of my church. As these breakfasts usually involve great company and...let's face it...FOOD...I signed up and went. I mean, come on: bacon and eggs, and the rest. What more do I need to say?
Actually, quite a bit. As well as the event being a Men's Breakfast, it was also the chance for the men of the church to get to know our latest acquisition to the Pastoral Team, one Alan Jamieson. On the many occasions I've heard Alan speak, I observe a speaker with a no-nonsense, practical approach to preaching the Word. That is definitely something I do appreciate - getting stuck into not only what the Word is, but what the Word can do in our everyday lives.
But that's not all. During the breakfast, we the men got to "interview" Alan with whatever questions we could come up with. I forget the questions themselves, but I do remember this one thing in particular. Alan spoke of the "feminising" of today's church; a church culture that seems to be better at feeding the women, but not so the men. And he also mentions the book Why Men Hate Going To Church.
And thanks to a very good friend of mine, I now have said publication in my hot little hands. Temporarily mind you, but nevertheless, I have it! And believe me: this book will be heavily devoured.
Ever since Alan mentioned this book, I have wanted to get my hands on this book and read it for myself. Putting Alan's observations aside, I have also been left wondering where the men of the church are. As well as that, I have been pondering this little question, and I wonder if other men have as well. The question is this: How does a man demonstrate his love for Christ...when Christ is himself a man? In other words, how does a man tell another man he loves him? Or what does this love look like manifested in the life of a man?
It has been quite a depressing period for me as of late. I think the above picture sums my present situation brilliantly. Over the last few weeks, I have been feeling like I'm in a position entitled 'Working Hard; Going Nowhere'. Ever Since I graduated from College last year with my degree, I have had one possible opportunity show itself for application of said degree. Unfortunately, the opportunity did not manifest itself into an actual position (which would have seen me become an Associate Pastor at this church), but hey, what did I have to lose by applying? More unfortunate than not getting the position is that the church has not responded to my last email: thanking them for considering me and asking for advice on what could help future ministerial opportunities that arise. Is this what I ought to expect from a Christian body?
That issue aside, I am currently slogging away at my old stomping ground in Sockburn. However, I feel like I have made it to the top of the heap, so to speak; that the position I hold is the highest I can possibly go. And make no mistake - the position itself isn't too glamorous. That being said, with no qualifications (other than my degree), no technical skills, no trades, am I to think that where I am at is going to be my lot in life? That I will forever be stuck working in factories?
As you can see, I am fed up to the hilt with where my life is at the moment. Yes, I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and that is something I would never change. But I am fast getting sick and tired of working hard for meagre wages, only to see it frittered away on bills, rent, and the ever-constant rising fuel and grocery costs. Where's the savings? As I'm currently on the minimum wage of $12, that's not a lot of wages to go round for a new family unit, let alone enough to whack off the bills and everything else that rears its fiscal head. It also doesn't help that New Zealand is teetering on the cliffs of Recession. I have found myself wishing with every breath that I was earning a much higher wage - and yet I feel like I lack the skills in order to secure jobs with higher pay packets. With the cost of living growing ever higher, I wish to be able to earn enough to not only knock off the expenses, but to also have a sizable amount saved for the future.
Like the title I've picked for this post, I feel like I've done a full circle in my life. Prior to college, I was in this exact same position. After six months of thinking about where I wanted to go with my life, I ended up at college and attaining my degree. Having done all that over the last three years, I have returned to that familiar question I asked myself long ago: What do I want to do with my life?
When I first asked it, I was a single man; I had the freedom that goes with being single, which enabled me to do some of the things I ended up doing in order to get into college. These days, it's a little harder to come by. I am not only a married man, but I am also the main breadwinner, and without my wage, these bills and the rent would not get paid. I do not have the freedom as I once did to make such decisions. In short, I feel like my fire has gone out. I feel like I'm stuck.
For those with families, my regurgitation of feelings is not an attempt to elevate my position of hardship over those whose needs outweigh my own. Simply put, from my vantage point, I'm voicing the concerns of probably over 80% of the country.
Thanks to a good friend down south who lent me a book, and inspired by this post, I thought I would write my thoughts on something that could be described as a problem in today's church as we know it.[1]
