I realise that for some visitors to my blog, it could seem strange that I am bringing this up. But this is my little corner of cyberspace after all, and in this instance I’m expressing how I’m feeling at the moment. Your prayers are appreciated, because I’m finding this process incredibly painful. In fact, it’s more painful than past experiences like it.
It’s been three weeks since my girlfriend and I broke up. Although we still communicate (which is good), and still have a good friendship (which is also good), I have to admit and be honest with myself…I miss her!
Since the breakup, we have seen each other twice; once to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (awesome movie), then coffee afterwards, and briefly tonight before I went into a game of Laser Strike (she was just coming out of one). But I want to touch on the movie time. Spending time with her was a blessing, no doubt about that. But the time we did share that day really hit my heart. It made me realise just how much I do miss spending time with her. If I had to be totally honest, my total honesty would then be expressed in two parts. Part one: I want her back! And Part two: I want to get over her!
Just one problem – I can’t have both. With God’s help, I want to be released from the pain that this breakup has brought. I have had many breakups in the past, but none have been as painful as this. Most of the time I have felt the pain straight away, and by this time have gotten over it. But this one has done the reverse, namely that I have been fine in the first two weeks…then it’s hit me hard! And it is hurting me inside. There has been many times as of recent where I’ve wanted to sit down by myself and cry, but I have been unable to. I’m sure one day I will be free from all this, by the power and grace of God. But for the moment, I am in emotional pain. I admit this freely.
Please pray for me, my friends. I need you all! This isn’t a statement of weakness. It is a declaration of need.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Student turned Author?
Today saw the completion of one of my assignments, namely that of my Spirituality for Ministry class.
For this assignment, we (my classmates and I) each had to choose a topic relevant to our own ministry. For me, that meant that I could write on a topic that was close to me. It is a topic I’ve posted here before – Discipleship. In this assignment, I’ve explored four different aspects of Discipleship…
At some stage in my life, hopefully sooner rather than later, I’d like to write a book on this subject. I’d like to write a book exploring Discipleship in today’s 21st Century Church, look at where things are going right, where things are going wrong, and seek to find a resolute. That’s my plan, but to be honest, I have no idea how to write a book. I know it sounds stupid, but man is it true. I’ve talked to Steve Taylor about writing a book, and his advice for me was to just “write”. I guess things like blogging are great ways to practice my writing skills.
Who knows? There might just be an author in me yet. Watch this space!
For this assignment, we (my classmates and I) each had to choose a topic relevant to our own ministry. For me, that meant that I could write on a topic that was close to me. It is a topic I’ve posted here before – Discipleship. In this assignment, I’ve explored four different aspects of Discipleship…
- As Spirituality (how Discipleship affects the individual)
- As Community (how Discipleship affects a small group setting)
- As Evangelism (taking Discipleship to the masses)
- And as Ecclesiology (how Discipleship affects the Church)
At some stage in my life, hopefully sooner rather than later, I’d like to write a book on this subject. I’d like to write a book exploring Discipleship in today’s 21st Century Church, look at where things are going right, where things are going wrong, and seek to find a resolute. That’s my plan, but to be honest, I have no idea how to write a book. I know it sounds stupid, but man is it true. I’ve talked to Steve Taylor about writing a book, and his advice for me was to just “write”. I guess things like blogging are great ways to practice my writing skills.
Who knows? There might just be an author in me yet. Watch this space!
Hello to Holidays
So the holidays are finally here…or should I say “holidays”?
For me, “holidays” is best translated as “no lectures”. Rather than attend Bible College today for lectures, I turned up instead to tackle some of my assignments. Currently I have three assignments I need to get written up and handed in by the end of next week. I did have four, but thankfully today saw me chalk up 1-0. Good stuff!
I like holidays. It’s always nice to have a break from the hassles of everyday life, and just be able to take time out. Holidays are also a great opportunity to get working on things you can’t normally do in normal routine. For example, I’ve always wanted to go back to Aimtru for some archery. On the other hand, I also need to refill my ink cartridges. I’ve also got a letter to write to a friend in Northern Ireland, and many other things too.
Y’know, all of a sudden, I have more on my hands than just assignments =)
For me, “holidays” is best translated as “no lectures”. Rather than attend Bible College today for lectures, I turned up instead to tackle some of my assignments. Currently I have three assignments I need to get written up and handed in by the end of next week. I did have four, but thankfully today saw me chalk up 1-0. Good stuff!
I like holidays. It’s always nice to have a break from the hassles of everyday life, and just be able to take time out. Holidays are also a great opportunity to get working on things you can’t normally do in normal routine. For example, I’ve always wanted to go back to Aimtru for some archery. On the other hand, I also need to refill my ink cartridges. I’ve also got a letter to write to a friend in Northern Ireland, and many other things too.
Y’know, all of a sudden, I have more on my hands than just assignments =)
Friday, September 23, 2005
The 100-Minute Fiasco
I read a report in today’s Press. I had heard about it at my home group, but on page 5 of the World section its own report was to be found. I had expressed concern over it at cell group – briefly – and I make no bones about how I felt about it after reading this news report.
Basically, someone has written The 100-Minute Bible, a Bible – they say – gives the overall message without “the boring bits”. The “boring bits” by their definition, are where genealogies are recorded (Matthew 1, Numbers 1-5 et al.), as well as other areas that one would find ‘boring’. It also shortens parts of the Bible as well.
I have a beef against this, for several reasons…
One, I believe that the true message of the Bible is lost in this 100-Minute rewrite.
Two, the “boring bits” allow transition from one phase to another. For instance, a boring bit would be the genealogy of Noah’s descendants. And let’s face it: there are a lot of kids in Noah’s line. But this allows the reader to trace from Noah to Abraham! Similar genealogies trace from Abraham to Jesus – you get the idea.
Third, I also believe that this Bible has come about as a result of a narcissistic, “impatient” society. By that I mean that society as a whole is bent on getting quick, easy answers now! And this mindset has been transferred onto the Bible, and the Bible has been grossly attacked. I wouldn’t disagree that this 100-Minute Bible is very easy to read, but I would disagree that the original message has been retained. You only need to look at The Message to see what I mean.
Do I sound old-fashioned? Maybe I do. But I would prefer the complete work of the Logos, than settle for a vastly cut-down version of what looks like salvation. If the message – God’s Message - truly has been lost, then this 100-Minute Bible will not provide salvation.
Basically, someone has written The 100-Minute Bible, a Bible – they say – gives the overall message without “the boring bits”. The “boring bits” by their definition, are where genealogies are recorded (Matthew 1, Numbers 1-5 et al.), as well as other areas that one would find ‘boring’. It also shortens parts of the Bible as well.
I have a beef against this, for several reasons…
One, I believe that the true message of the Bible is lost in this 100-Minute rewrite.
Two, the “boring bits” allow transition from one phase to another. For instance, a boring bit would be the genealogy of Noah’s descendants. And let’s face it: there are a lot of kids in Noah’s line. But this allows the reader to trace from Noah to Abraham! Similar genealogies trace from Abraham to Jesus – you get the idea.
Third, I also believe that this Bible has come about as a result of a narcissistic, “impatient” society. By that I mean that society as a whole is bent on getting quick, easy answers now! And this mindset has been transferred onto the Bible, and the Bible has been grossly attacked. I wouldn’t disagree that this 100-Minute Bible is very easy to read, but I would disagree that the original message has been retained. You only need to look at The Message to see what I mean.
Do I sound old-fashioned? Maybe I do. But I would prefer the complete work of the Logos, than settle for a vastly cut-down version of what looks like salvation. If the message – God’s Message - truly has been lost, then this 100-Minute Bible will not provide salvation.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
My Calling, My Issue
Today was probably one of the best classes I’ve had for “Spirituality for Ministry”. In class, we had two different ‘interactive’ components, both of which were similar to the Myers-Briggs indicators we did earlier in the semester. One indicator was on our particular gifting (it wasn’t an exhaustive list, just a basic one), and the other was on our core values. My post is mainly touching on the former.
To my surprise, the gifting indicator was reflective of what I am most passionate about. Rather than be strong in one area, I had two. These were:
I realise that the Christian walk is far, far bigger than my two gifts. Yet when I look at the world, and see/hear about things like injustice issues, oppression, the poor and needy and the like, I do not feel passionate about these things. Do these issues – and more like them – concern me? For sure! Would I like to do something about them? You bet! Is it an area of passion for me? The answer for me would be ‘no’. Does that make me any less of a committed Christian? I sure hope not.
Your comments are appreciated. How can I – a man incredibly passionate about building up fellow believers – reconcile the bigger picture of Jesus’ commands to His disciples?
To my surprise, the gifting indicator was reflective of what I am most passionate about. Rather than be strong in one area, I had two. These were:
- Teaching
- Stimulating the Faith of Others
I realise that the Christian walk is far, far bigger than my two gifts. Yet when I look at the world, and see/hear about things like injustice issues, oppression, the poor and needy and the like, I do not feel passionate about these things. Do these issues – and more like them – concern me? For sure! Would I like to do something about them? You bet! Is it an area of passion for me? The answer for me would be ‘no’. Does that make me any less of a committed Christian? I sure hope not.
Your comments are appreciated. How can I – a man incredibly passionate about building up fellow believers – reconcile the bigger picture of Jesus’ commands to His disciples?
Monday, September 19, 2005
Winter Wonderland =D
Isn’t it amazing how much the weather can affect a person? I woke up this morning to the sound of my radio. I heard on the 7am newsreel that Otago had collected quite an amount of snow, and I thought to myself heck, that’s quite close to here. Little did I know that as I entered the bathroom for my morning shower, I glanced out the window and commented to myself that things look a little whiter than usual. I opened the window and to my utter surprise – there it was: snow! Snow snow snow!!!! =D
I love snow. It’s not exactly a regular occurrence to Christchurch. And when it is, it hits the port hills but never hits the ground. Not so today!
Brings back memories of ’92…I hope there’s more to come. Well, at least here in Christchurch. My thoughts and prayers are with the hard-working Farmers – people that could do without this sort of weather during Lambing.
I love snow. It’s not exactly a regular occurrence to Christchurch. And when it is, it hits the port hills but never hits the ground. Not so today!
Brings back memories of ’92…I hope there’s more to come. Well, at least here in Christchurch. My thoughts and prayers are with the hard-working Farmers – people that could do without this sort of weather during Lambing.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
1 Corinthians 13
I realise that I have given this post a seriously cheesy title. I mean c’mon – we all know exactly what Bible passage that is. But I’ve given this post the title because tonight’s service put a whole new spin on it. And before you read any further, I encourage you to stop reading this, grab your Bible and turn to the verse that the title suggests…
* * * * *
Tonight I got a bit of a “wake-up” call. I have read this passage more times than I can count on both hands and feet, heard it preached more times than the 20-times table, heard it at many weddings…yet tonight I heard it in a way I have never heard it before. And it made perfect sense.
I’ll be brash: I’ve forgotten my first love. I have gone through my faith as of recent (and parts of late) with a stale love for God, and a stagnant love for the works of His hands – which includes people. Tonight rammed home to my heart that I have had a less-than-optimal Christian life. Sure, I’ve sang my throat dry (as was the case at PK), read my Bible every night, studied the Word at Bible College. Yet…something was missing. Something in my Christian walk wasn’t existent. And tonight it came to me. The incredibly profound truth was at the same time childishly simple! All God has called us to do…is love! We are called to love one another as God loved – and loves – us. Everything else – prophecy, tongues, mercy, helping, discipleship, teaching – stems from the one foundation that will never disappear. And that foundation is love! And it is a foundation that I pray I can make the foundation of my life.
Thank you, O God, for tonight’s message. I needed it…
* * * * *
Tonight I got a bit of a “wake-up” call. I have read this passage more times than I can count on both hands and feet, heard it preached more times than the 20-times table, heard it at many weddings…yet tonight I heard it in a way I have never heard it before. And it made perfect sense.
I’ll be brash: I’ve forgotten my first love. I have gone through my faith as of recent (and parts of late) with a stale love for God, and a stagnant love for the works of His hands – which includes people. Tonight rammed home to my heart that I have had a less-than-optimal Christian life. Sure, I’ve sang my throat dry (as was the case at PK), read my Bible every night, studied the Word at Bible College. Yet…something was missing. Something in my Christian walk wasn’t existent. And tonight it came to me. The incredibly profound truth was at the same time childishly simple! All God has called us to do…is love! We are called to love one another as God loved – and loves – us. Everything else – prophecy, tongues, mercy, helping, discipleship, teaching – stems from the one foundation that will never disappear. And that foundation is love! And it is a foundation that I pray I can make the foundation of my life.
Thank you, O God, for tonight’s message. I needed it…
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Election Day
Today is Election Day – the day that we as New Zealanders get a say in where the country’s going for the next three years.
Priase God that we have the privilege of a Democracy, and that we do actually get to vote! Many countries in the world do not have this system of government (Tonga, North Korea, the 55 Muslim Nations, et al), and for that I give thanks that I as a citizen of New Zealand – and the earth – have the right to vote.
About three hours ago I put my two ticks on the paper, joined by as many as 2.8 million others around the country. I couldn’t help but notice that today took on a seemingly different aura than most other days. That could be because tomorrow’s going to be different, in more ways than one.
Isn’t it funny that two little ticks mean so incredibly much? Isn’t it crazy to think that the two “most powerful” ink splotches are those we stick on the ballot paper?
I myself am not an apt fan or follower of Political Science, but there is one thing that is undeniable: My place in New Zealand is going to be shaped by how the country is run. Be it Labour, National, or even another party you choose, it is their policies and their interests that will be brought not only into government, but outworked in society. We will feel the impact for the next three years.
My advice: vote! We have the choice – please choose to.
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." - Pericles (430 B.C.)
Priase God that we have the privilege of a Democracy, and that we do actually get to vote! Many countries in the world do not have this system of government (Tonga, North Korea, the 55 Muslim Nations, et al), and for that I give thanks that I as a citizen of New Zealand – and the earth – have the right to vote.
About three hours ago I put my two ticks on the paper, joined by as many as 2.8 million others around the country. I couldn’t help but notice that today took on a seemingly different aura than most other days. That could be because tomorrow’s going to be different, in more ways than one.
Isn’t it funny that two little ticks mean so incredibly much? Isn’t it crazy to think that the two “most powerful” ink splotches are those we stick on the ballot paper?
I myself am not an apt fan or follower of Political Science, but there is one thing that is undeniable: My place in New Zealand is going to be shaped by how the country is run. Be it Labour, National, or even another party you choose, it is their policies and their interests that will be brought not only into government, but outworked in society. We will feel the impact for the next three years.
My advice: vote! We have the choice – please choose to.
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." - Pericles (430 B.C.)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Hearing From God
I am currently in a state of confusion. Not in the sense that I have absolutely no idea of what to do with my life. Nor in the sense that there are a billion things floating around in my head, unable to focus on one single thought. I am confused about how to hear from God.
Some of you reading this post may think that I haven’t enough faith, and so it’s no wonder I cannot hear from him. I’ve had that told to me a couple of times in the distant past. I know from various past experiences in my Christian pilgrimage that I have felt the tugging of the Holy Spirit, or a picture or vision that has seldom failed. But at present, I am confused. And I’ll tell you why…
As most of you know, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship last weekend. Despite breaking up, we both believe that this is the best thing for us, and that the only foolish thing would be to lose the friendship. And believe me – there’s no way I’d ever want to lose that! But since that time, I have felt the Lord speaking to me. I can only describe it as the Lord…yet I have absolutely no idea what He’s trying to tell me. I admit that I lack the discernment able to discover firstly, is it God speaking. And secondly, if it is Him, what is He trying to communicate to me.
It is difficult to express in words exactly what I’m feeling. I think confusion is the best single word I can put down. I know I’m not alone in this – a lot of people would like to know “secrets into hearing from God”. Sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t know any. All I know is that God speaks to people in different ways, and as I have discovered, ways in which are sensitive to the individual. I used “pictures and visions” because that is the primary way I hear from God. Yet this “tugging” has nothing to do with pictures! So I constantly ask to God in prayer: If this is You, what are you trying to tell me?
Some of you reading this post may think that I haven’t enough faith, and so it’s no wonder I cannot hear from him. I’ve had that told to me a couple of times in the distant past. I know from various past experiences in my Christian pilgrimage that I have felt the tugging of the Holy Spirit, or a picture or vision that has seldom failed. But at present, I am confused. And I’ll tell you why…
As most of you know, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship last weekend. Despite breaking up, we both believe that this is the best thing for us, and that the only foolish thing would be to lose the friendship. And believe me – there’s no way I’d ever want to lose that! But since that time, I have felt the Lord speaking to me. I can only describe it as the Lord…yet I have absolutely no idea what He’s trying to tell me. I admit that I lack the discernment able to discover firstly, is it God speaking. And secondly, if it is Him, what is He trying to communicate to me.
It is difficult to express in words exactly what I’m feeling. I think confusion is the best single word I can put down. I know I’m not alone in this – a lot of people would like to know “secrets into hearing from God”. Sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t know any. All I know is that God speaks to people in different ways, and as I have discovered, ways in which are sensitive to the individual. I used “pictures and visions” because that is the primary way I hear from God. Yet this “tugging” has nothing to do with pictures! So I constantly ask to God in prayer: If this is You, what are you trying to tell me?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Where To From Here?
I write this post no longer as a boyfriend of someone, but as a single person, and I guess the title says it all really.
I have had an amazing relationship that I can only describe as God-blessed. It is a shame that things couldn’t have worked out, but I think that the decision to break up is the best decision. I can now only look ahead in front of me and ask: God, what have you got in store for me today? While I would have liked things to have been solved, nonetheless I am now in a unique position to devote my time and energies to worshipping and serving God as a single. Until the day I become a boyfriend of someone, I want to give my time to God, and serve Him with an undivided heart.
That is the answer to my post. That is the where to from here…
I have had an amazing relationship that I can only describe as God-blessed. It is a shame that things couldn’t have worked out, but I think that the decision to break up is the best decision. I can now only look ahead in front of me and ask: God, what have you got in store for me today? While I would have liked things to have been solved, nonetheless I am now in a unique position to devote my time and energies to worshipping and serving God as a single. Until the day I become a boyfriend of someone, I want to give my time to God, and serve Him with an undivided heart.
That is the answer to my post. That is the where to from here…
Thursday, September 08, 2005
A Serious Rant!
Today I found out that I am – apparently – “intimidating”.
I don’t mean it in the sense that I am the size of a nightclub bouncer, or a Fijian rugby player. Actually, I’m something of a ‘stick’ than a ‘rock’. Let me explain…
I was at College today, the first day I actually made it to College. The previous two days of my College week saw me stuck at home nursing a massive headcold, but thankfully I can say I’m much better. Anyway, I was chatting to someone at College, and she made an interesting comment. She had heard someone else say: “That Ryan knows his Bible…” Now, if I leave it at that, what was said is a compliment. Sadly, she also added that the person who spoke those words was actually intimidated by that. Two things: Firstly, that hurts. While knowing your Bible is probably a very noble thing to be known for, nevertheless it guts me to know that somehow that affects a fellow brother or sister in Christ – for the worse. Why the intimidation? The only reason I “know” the Bible is because for the last four and a half years I have read it, let it soak into my being, let my life be shaped by it, and follow its teachings. What the heck is wrong with that? What’s so sinful about knowing your Bible?
And secondly, it raises the following issue, which originally wasn’t going to be a part of this “rant”, but it’s worth thinking about…
If you saw a Christian who you knew was involved in blatant unchristlike stuff, you would judge him to be a false Christian, right? As Christians, we are expected to follow Jesus, our ultimate example of a perfect and holy God. So you could say we are expected to be perfect. After all, there’s scriptural evidence of this. But here’s the problem, and I have also been labeled this as well! Say you saw a Christian who you knew was living a pure, blameless, holy, perfect life. Would you shake him by the hand and thank God for this example of Christian witness? I dear say you would not! Instead, you would scoff and say something like: Who do YOU think you are? How can you be sooo perfect! We would most likely rebuke him, jealous of his achievement to live out Jesus’ calling of holiness.
My question is: WHY DO WE DO THAT? Why do we stop fellow believers in reaching for perfection? Is it out of our reach? Are we that narrow to think that it can’t be done? If we believe in a God who factioned the universe ex nihilo, worked miracles through ordinary people, came to earth in human form, and worked His Spirit into the Church, then isn’t it reasonable to conceive that it IS possible to live a perfect, blameless life?
So many people would answer with a resounding “no”…
I don’t mean it in the sense that I am the size of a nightclub bouncer, or a Fijian rugby player. Actually, I’m something of a ‘stick’ than a ‘rock’. Let me explain…
I was at College today, the first day I actually made it to College. The previous two days of my College week saw me stuck at home nursing a massive headcold, but thankfully I can say I’m much better. Anyway, I was chatting to someone at College, and she made an interesting comment. She had heard someone else say: “That Ryan knows his Bible…” Now, if I leave it at that, what was said is a compliment. Sadly, she also added that the person who spoke those words was actually intimidated by that. Two things: Firstly, that hurts. While knowing your Bible is probably a very noble thing to be known for, nevertheless it guts me to know that somehow that affects a fellow brother or sister in Christ – for the worse. Why the intimidation? The only reason I “know” the Bible is because for the last four and a half years I have read it, let it soak into my being, let my life be shaped by it, and follow its teachings. What the heck is wrong with that? What’s so sinful about knowing your Bible?
And secondly, it raises the following issue, which originally wasn’t going to be a part of this “rant”, but it’s worth thinking about…
If you saw a Christian who you knew was involved in blatant unchristlike stuff, you would judge him to be a false Christian, right? As Christians, we are expected to follow Jesus, our ultimate example of a perfect and holy God. So you could say we are expected to be perfect. After all, there’s scriptural evidence of this. But here’s the problem, and I have also been labeled this as well! Say you saw a Christian who you knew was living a pure, blameless, holy, perfect life. Would you shake him by the hand and thank God for this example of Christian witness? I dear say you would not! Instead, you would scoff and say something like: Who do YOU think you are? How can you be sooo perfect! We would most likely rebuke him, jealous of his achievement to live out Jesus’ calling of holiness.
My question is: WHY DO WE DO THAT? Why do we stop fellow believers in reaching for perfection? Is it out of our reach? Are we that narrow to think that it can’t be done? If we believe in a God who factioned the universe ex nihilo, worked miracles through ordinary people, came to earth in human form, and worked His Spirit into the Church, then isn’t it reasonable to conceive that it IS possible to live a perfect, blameless life?
So many people would answer with a resounding “no”…
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Headcolds suck
Headcolds! I don’t like them. Never have, never will.
Today was supposed to be me going to College; instead I end up stuck at home because of an illness. Sure, I get the day off and sure, I get to do my own thing. But I don’t like being stuck at home. I have a computer in my room, a TV with video player in the lounge…and I’m bored stiff!
Still, having an illness does have its benefits. For example, you have no choice but to take it nice and slow. You also get to reflect on life, because when you’re involved in the fast-paced game of life it is incredibly hard to reflect “on the run”. So it is with me today: I can’t go fast, so I guess I’m stuck with my lovely headcold until it passes.
Hopefully tomorrow…
Today was supposed to be me going to College; instead I end up stuck at home because of an illness. Sure, I get the day off and sure, I get to do my own thing. But I don’t like being stuck at home. I have a computer in my room, a TV with video player in the lounge…and I’m bored stiff!
Still, having an illness does have its benefits. For example, you have no choice but to take it nice and slow. You also get to reflect on life, because when you’re involved in the fast-paced game of life it is incredibly hard to reflect “on the run”. So it is with me today: I can’t go fast, so I guess I’m stuck with my lovely headcold until it passes.
Hopefully tomorrow…
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Happy Fathers Day
Happy Fathers Day to you all…well, particularly if you’re a Dad. And speaking of Dads, let’s take time out to thank our Lord and God for being an awesome Father to us.
Happy Fathers Day, God!
Thank you very much for being my Dad over these past four and a half years. Thank you especially that you will continue to be my Dad – you have promised to never leave me, never turn away from me. And if I as much as turn away from you God, you’re always there…waiting for me to come home.
Happy Fathers Day, Heavenly Father.
Amen!
Happy Fathers Day, God!
Thank you very much for being my Dad over these past four and a half years. Thank you especially that you will continue to be my Dad – you have promised to never leave me, never turn away from me. And if I as much as turn away from you God, you’re always there…waiting for me to come home.
Happy Fathers Day, Heavenly Father.
Amen!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
What A Weekend!
I’ve just returned from what I can only describe as being the time of my life! I went along to Promise Keepers with some friends from College, one of whom had been for many years previous. Despite all that I had been told, PK had to be experienced…and I wasn’t disappointed!
In a time when I needed God the most, God showed up at Promise Keepers. I have never heard anything as special and as sacred as two thousand men, from all walks of life, raise their voice to God. Trust me – it was an incredible atmosphere that our Lord would have easily have wiped tears from His eyes. It was that amazing at PK.
With all that said and done, the tough part of PK begins. I am required to walk in God’s ways and God’s truths. I am required to stand firm against the enemy and prayerfully fight him at all costs. I am required to be accountable to the people close to me who I can trust in times of crises. Why do I say ‘required’? Because if I don’t, I’m gonna drop dead…spiritually. I’ll be picked off like a duck at a shooting gallery if I don’t take a stand!
If there’s one thing I am most certainly carrying with me from PK, it’s this: We Christian Men need to stick together!
Amen!
In a time when I needed God the most, God showed up at Promise Keepers. I have never heard anything as special and as sacred as two thousand men, from all walks of life, raise their voice to God. Trust me – it was an incredible atmosphere that our Lord would have easily have wiped tears from His eyes. It was that amazing at PK.
With all that said and done, the tough part of PK begins. I am required to walk in God’s ways and God’s truths. I am required to stand firm against the enemy and prayerfully fight him at all costs. I am required to be accountable to the people close to me who I can trust in times of crises. Why do I say ‘required’? Because if I don’t, I’m gonna drop dead…spiritually. I’ll be picked off like a duck at a shooting gallery if I don’t take a stand!
If there’s one thing I am most certainly carrying with me from PK, it’s this: We Christian Men need to stick together!
Amen!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Overwhelmed!
I have just come back from “Earthquakes from Whispers” utterly overwhelmed! EFW was a prayer meeting like no other. My Church has overseas missionaries that we support, working in various countries in the East. These countries in fact, are home mainly to the religion of Islam. The prayer meeting was set up as ‘stations’, where each station was a representation of a different country. It was amazing to see all the different countries being prayer for and over, and also the different prayer needs for each country (though there were some similarities).
What struck me most – and the image is still fresh in my head – were two photos in the Bangladesh station. These photos were of young Christians who were martyred in June this year for showing the Jesus Film. It was horrifying to say the least looking at these photos of two battered, beaten, bloodied bodies (in some parts you could actually see bone)! And this is actually happening in the world – even as I write this post.
I think I got something of a small ‘awakening’ tonight, looking at each of these countries and their situations. My prayer is that I forever learn from what I have seen tonight.
What struck me most – and the image is still fresh in my head – were two photos in the Bangladesh station. These photos were of young Christians who were martyred in June this year for showing the Jesus Film. It was horrifying to say the least looking at these photos of two battered, beaten, bloodied bodies (in some parts you could actually see bone)! And this is actually happening in the world – even as I write this post.
I think I got something of a small ‘awakening’ tonight, looking at each of these countries and their situations. My prayer is that I forever learn from what I have seen tonight.
The Elderly
I love talking to elderly people. I say this because today I have been reminded of this fact.
I visited my old landlords after College today as a ‘catch-up’. Incidentally, they are the grandparents of my best mate, and I get on quite well with his family – always a plus. They are both in their early 80’s, and they have some awesome stories to share. It’s interesting to hear them when they talk, because Betty (the Grandmother) is the one who shares mostly about how God has worked in her life, and in the marriage that she and Harold share. Not to say of course, that Harold is less inclined to share his Godly stories. But what a breath of fresh air it was to visit them today. I had meant to see them since I moved out of my old flat, but never quite made it.
I love talking to them and listening to them for two reasons. There are more, but these are the main two. Firstly, I never got to know my grandparents, save one. I had always had a close relationship with Nana (Dad’s Mum), and I’ve had to deal with having a hole inside of me after her passing away last year, as you could imagine. Harold and Betty – in all respect – are the closest people I have to grandparents. They will never take the place of Nana, but wonderful it is, knowing I can call on them.
Secondly, it’s awesome to listen to the stories of where they’ve each come from, both as individuals and as Husband and Wife. Their stories absolutely reek of ‘Wisdom’. Of course I’m in a bit of a bind in that regard: whatever I’m going through, chances are it isn’t all that new to them =)
Praise God for the elderly. Society may not give them due credit, but I will always take my hat of to them. They are a blessing. Especially to a young pup like me.
I visited my old landlords after College today as a ‘catch-up’. Incidentally, they are the grandparents of my best mate, and I get on quite well with his family – always a plus. They are both in their early 80’s, and they have some awesome stories to share. It’s interesting to hear them when they talk, because Betty (the Grandmother) is the one who shares mostly about how God has worked in her life, and in the marriage that she and Harold share. Not to say of course, that Harold is less inclined to share his Godly stories. But what a breath of fresh air it was to visit them today. I had meant to see them since I moved out of my old flat, but never quite made it.
I love talking to them and listening to them for two reasons. There are more, but these are the main two. Firstly, I never got to know my grandparents, save one. I had always had a close relationship with Nana (Dad’s Mum), and I’ve had to deal with having a hole inside of me after her passing away last year, as you could imagine. Harold and Betty – in all respect – are the closest people I have to grandparents. They will never take the place of Nana, but wonderful it is, knowing I can call on them.
Secondly, it’s awesome to listen to the stories of where they’ve each come from, both as individuals and as Husband and Wife. Their stories absolutely reek of ‘Wisdom’. Of course I’m in a bit of a bind in that regard: whatever I’m going through, chances are it isn’t all that new to them =)
Praise God for the elderly. Society may not give them due credit, but I will always take my hat of to them. They are a blessing. Especially to a young pup like me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
A Lesson from Sonny
I have a workmate at Window Treatments by the name of Sonny. Allow me to tell you a bit about him…
Sonny is a kind, elderly Chinese man, about 60 years old (or ‘young’ as I tell him). He works in the Vertical Dept. as a track maker, and pretty adept at it. Sonny is someone whom you can have a gentle, peaceful discussion on. Sonny is also a Church-goer, attending a Presbyterian Church (I couldn’t tell you where sorry – I don’t quite know). Whenever Sonny has a question to do with Christianity (or Theology in general), I’m usually the first guy he comes to…mainly because I’m the only other Christian in the workplace (and there’s 50 people who work at the factory).
I also recently discovered that Sonny doesn’t have a friend as such. I found this out by asking him how his weekend was. He told me it was quite boring, and went on to tell me that he went to Church on the Sunday, and that was basically it! In other words, he didn’t do a thing in the weekend. I asked him why that was, and also a little bit about his Church (to the point, I asked him if there were small groups, or friends at the Church). It was that question that bore out the truth. My heart fell.
Here is a man who is 60 years old, and doesn’t know anything socially outside of work and Sunday service. It is no wonder my heart fell, and yet a question stuck in my mind: What am I to do? Essentially, there is probably nothing that I can do.
I write this post as a lesson we can all learn. For all we know, a ‘nobody’ in the eyes of society may wander into our Church doors without us even knowing it. In search of fellowship, of friendship, he instead finds loneliness, and leaves only to continue in his empty world. What a tragedy!
Sonny has asked me many questions, and I have managed to provide an answer for every one, satisfying his need. For once, I ask a question, and go away stumped.
My prayer is that Sonny can find a friend and fellowship. My prayer is that we can be a friend to those who have none.
Sonny is a kind, elderly Chinese man, about 60 years old (or ‘young’ as I tell him). He works in the Vertical Dept. as a track maker, and pretty adept at it. Sonny is someone whom you can have a gentle, peaceful discussion on. Sonny is also a Church-goer, attending a Presbyterian Church (I couldn’t tell you where sorry – I don’t quite know). Whenever Sonny has a question to do with Christianity (or Theology in general), I’m usually the first guy he comes to…mainly because I’m the only other Christian in the workplace (and there’s 50 people who work at the factory).
I also recently discovered that Sonny doesn’t have a friend as such. I found this out by asking him how his weekend was. He told me it was quite boring, and went on to tell me that he went to Church on the Sunday, and that was basically it! In other words, he didn’t do a thing in the weekend. I asked him why that was, and also a little bit about his Church (to the point, I asked him if there were small groups, or friends at the Church). It was that question that bore out the truth. My heart fell.
Here is a man who is 60 years old, and doesn’t know anything socially outside of work and Sunday service. It is no wonder my heart fell, and yet a question stuck in my mind: What am I to do? Essentially, there is probably nothing that I can do.
I write this post as a lesson we can all learn. For all we know, a ‘nobody’ in the eyes of society may wander into our Church doors without us even knowing it. In search of fellowship, of friendship, he instead finds loneliness, and leaves only to continue in his empty world. What a tragedy!
Sonny has asked me many questions, and I have managed to provide an answer for every one, satisfying his need. For once, I ask a question, and go away stumped.
My prayer is that Sonny can find a friend and fellowship. My prayer is that we can be a friend to those who have none.
Monday, August 29, 2005
A Reflection: One Week To Go...
The first week of my two week ‘break’ is over; one more to go and then I’ll know where things are at.
I realise that my posts have taken something of a ‘one-track mindedness’ about it, and that’s for a good number of reasons. First, this of course is my little corner of cyberspace, and I will express myself accordingly on it. Second, this is a big deal to me. Not only does she mean a lot to me, these two weeks also have brought about a change in me. I guess for both of us this time has – and will become – a learning curve. It is only a question of what we have learnt from our time apart from each other.
For me, I think I have reached a point where I am comfortable ‘with the worst’. Yes I don’t want it to come to that, but if it does then I know that Jesus is still Lord. Whether I’m still going out with her or rendered single in a week’s time, I know that God is still God. I know He still loves me as I am, and that it won’t be the end of the world.
Praise God!
I realise that my posts have taken something of a ‘one-track mindedness’ about it, and that’s for a good number of reasons. First, this of course is my little corner of cyberspace, and I will express myself accordingly on it. Second, this is a big deal to me. Not only does she mean a lot to me, these two weeks also have brought about a change in me. I guess for both of us this time has – and will become – a learning curve. It is only a question of what we have learnt from our time apart from each other.
For me, I think I have reached a point where I am comfortable ‘with the worst’. Yes I don’t want it to come to that, but if it does then I know that Jesus is still Lord. Whether I’m still going out with her or rendered single in a week’s time, I know that God is still God. I know He still loves me as I am, and that it won’t be the end of the world.
Praise God!
Friday, August 26, 2005
Crazy Mary
A friend of mine came round today, with an FM Static CD. One of the songs played really struck me, and I’ve been listening to it courtesy of the FM Static web site. This song sums up beautifully what I’m going through…
* * * * *
Crazy Mary is a slow girl who looks up to no one.
Would do anything for a cold one.
Wishes she could find her way home.
Got the look on her face and the stare of a ray gun.
We walked by everyday
and I wish there was something I could do for her.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
She watches the world pass her by like a freight train.
They all call her the same name.
Laughin' as they point and stare at her.
So she crys out to God up in Heaven,
been prayin since she was 11.
For Him to send someone to meet her there.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
* * * * *
Crazy Mary is a slow girl who looks up to no one.
Would do anything for a cold one.
Wishes she could find her way home.
Got the look on her face and the stare of a ray gun.
We walked by everyday
and I wish there was something I could do for her.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
She watches the world pass her by like a freight train.
They all call her the same name.
Laughin' as they point and stare at her.
So she crys out to God up in Heaven,
been prayin since she was 11.
For Him to send someone to meet her there.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
A Reflection: My Relationship
I’m in something of a dichotomy.
As many of you may know (if you either know me or are a frequent visitor), my girlfriend and I aren’t on speaking terms. This isn’t me saying that we are “on the rocks” as such. She has taken time out from things to sort out areas and problems in her life, and I have – for my part – backed off to give her that time that she needs. Now usually, my reaction to something of this nature is to crawl up, go into a shell and go into a “woe is me” state. Instead, I’m doing the opposite.
Since the start of the weekend (when the ‘space’ began), I have coped quite well with the ordeal. Knowing full well that I can’t text, ring or meet her, instead of getting depressed, I’ve gone the other way; I’ve been having great day after great day. And to be honest, I don’t know why!
I mean not to sound all spiritual, but only by the Grace of God am I being sustained the way I am. Only by Him am I able to keep a brave vigil, facing every day with a smile like I have been. Yes, I worry about her. Yes, I care about her deeply. You bet I want to talk to her, find out how she is. Instead I can’t do that, for in caring for her I am backing off, for her sake.
That of course isn’t my dichotomy. The problem is, is that because I don’t want to lose her as my girlfriend (if possible), I also don’t want to arrive at a point in my life where I can live life without her. They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but absence also runs the risk of taking away from the heart any feelings we have for each other, which is what I fear.
I fear that in her…and I fear that in myself. If at the end of two weeks our relationship ends, then may it end for the right reasons; not because our feelings disappear with time.
Your thoughts and prayers are always appreciated. Thank you to all who have prayed for us, and thank you in advance if you do from this day on.
The Grace of God be with you all.
As many of you may know (if you either know me or are a frequent visitor), my girlfriend and I aren’t on speaking terms. This isn’t me saying that we are “on the rocks” as such. She has taken time out from things to sort out areas and problems in her life, and I have – for my part – backed off to give her that time that she needs. Now usually, my reaction to something of this nature is to crawl up, go into a shell and go into a “woe is me” state. Instead, I’m doing the opposite.
Since the start of the weekend (when the ‘space’ began), I have coped quite well with the ordeal. Knowing full well that I can’t text, ring or meet her, instead of getting depressed, I’ve gone the other way; I’ve been having great day after great day. And to be honest, I don’t know why!
I mean not to sound all spiritual, but only by the Grace of God am I being sustained the way I am. Only by Him am I able to keep a brave vigil, facing every day with a smile like I have been. Yes, I worry about her. Yes, I care about her deeply. You bet I want to talk to her, find out how she is. Instead I can’t do that, for in caring for her I am backing off, for her sake.
That of course isn’t my dichotomy. The problem is, is that because I don’t want to lose her as my girlfriend (if possible), I also don’t want to arrive at a point in my life where I can live life without her. They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but absence also runs the risk of taking away from the heart any feelings we have for each other, which is what I fear.
I fear that in her…and I fear that in myself. If at the end of two weeks our relationship ends, then may it end for the right reasons; not because our feelings disappear with time.
Your thoughts and prayers are always appreciated. Thank you to all who have prayed for us, and thank you in advance if you do from this day on.
The Grace of God be with you all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
