The Spirit's Sojourner

When Being Busy Attacks

2010-08-19T16:27:00.001+12:00

Last night was a Boys’ Brigade night, and for this particular night I was on Devotions duty, which was fine. I’ve known for the past week that I was slated for Devotions, so I had something more than prepared up my sleeve. Something, at least I thought, would be brilliant to deliver to the boys. And for this particular devotion, I had a prop that would be used.

Then disaster struck.

In a frantic frenzy, I left the house to go to BB…without my prop. My plan for devotions was in tatters. But I was able to deliver, in my opinion, a more practical devotion that was even better. What was that Plan B I enacted? Time for a little context-setting.

Last week, amidst my devotion planning, I was attacked by six evil enemies of Academia. These “enemies” were in the form of three assignments and three midterm tests. Two of the assignments were worth 2%, and the other one a troubling 10%. Two of my midterms were worth 20%, while the other one was worth a massive 33%. As you can imagine, I was busy. Very, very busy, juggling deadlines hand over fist (the 2% and 10% assignments were due on Monday, and I had two midterms on Tuesday, including the 33% one).

Yes, I was busy. I was very busy. And in my frantic frenzy on Wednesday night, due to my brain being elsewhere, I left my prop at home.

So, that returns me to the devotion I actually gave on the night. I opened by telling the boys that I had a devotion lined up, featuring a key prop. And I left it at home in a bout of busyness.

Then I touched on the very fact that I was busy. And I put this question (which I proceeded to answer at length) to them:

“Isn’t it funny when people are caught up in being busy, that usually the first thing to go in their lives is God?”

This was true of me, certainly. Sure my studies are good (at times), and very fruitful and rewarding (learning lots is never a downer), but coupled with these positives and this gaining of knowledge and skills is the need to prepare. To practise. To meet deadlines. To write assignments and perform tests. To study.

Basically, to be very, very busy, and have a lot of time eaten up as a result. Then of course are the other facets of my life. These also require time devoted to them. And the culmination of all this time spending, has left me pondering that very question I posed on Wednesday night.

I never intended God to be crowded out of my everyday life. Yet by my time mismanagement and utter busyness, that’s what happened. So in many ways, it was probably a good thing I left my prop behind. By doing so, I could face up to myself and my shortcoming on the “Chatting with God” front, and hopefully my experience and example has inspired the boys to also pay attention to their own lives and “God-Chats” as well.

Freelance Ministry

2010-07-18T17:21:00.000+12:00

Consider the following point to ponder: Is it possible to be involved in a ministry without the backing of the Church?

While in a seemingly random bout of contemplation some time ago, the above thought popped into my head. One of the reasons the thought occurred to me in the first place is that, like most followers of Christ I know, I have numerous ideas floating around my head; ideas of actions or impacts that I may make for the advancement of Christ. Knowing the many skills, gifts and talents that I have been given, I personally believe that I have many avenues that I may pursue, and in so doing it is hoped that, through what I have to offer, Christ may be glorified and made known (positively, of course). No doubt you too feel the same way, with your wide pool of skills, giftings and talents at God's disposal.

But, can such great ideas and actions be done without the aid of the Church? This is the point of pondering, worded differently.

You see, there is definitely no shortage of different ministries that churches offer to both congregants and the community they find themselves a part. However, consider this scenario for a moment: What if, at the Church you attend, there doesn't exist a particular ministry idea or area. As a case in point, what if your Church doesn't have a ministry to men? If your answer to that question is 'No, it does not', then the next two questions are almost trivial (following the example; change the missing ministry if your church has not got it):

Firstly, will the church support a ministry to men?
If not, then is it possible to have a ministry to men without the church's backing?

In other words, can you have a ministry effort, that reaches out to people (particular groups or not), meets a certain missing need, or in general glorifies Christ and hence gets His name out there in a positive way, without being under the umbrella of any church?

Look forward to your thoughts on this one.

Encountering Jesus (An Update to 'Relighting The Flame')

2009-09-20T21:08:00.004+12:00

Before I begin, yes yes, I realise I have - once again - become sidelined in the world of the blogosphere, taking ages to actually take the time to update my little patch of electronic land. Truth be told, between commitments and high workloads associated with University, and doing what I can to sustain myself in all areas of life, there really isn't all that much I could write.

Until now...for I have something really cool to share with you all, and I hope that inspires.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about an attempt to Relight the Flame, an expose on an admission that I had known all to well. It was a post that outlined a decision that I made four years ago (at the time of writing this post), which spiralled me downward into a cycle of depression, a repercussion of which I am still dealing with even now. But the real plus side to all of that was the decision to scrap all traces of The Sims from my computer, and furthermore, to not play the game ever again! And I can proudly say that I have well and truly kept to my word; The Sims is still off this computer, and I haven't played it since, be it in my home (even when noone else is around - now that's an achievement!) or at somebody elses, the latter of which I have never done and have no intention of doing. And as a bonus, my depressive swings occur fewer times than what they used to, and I look forward to the day when I know that I have been freed from it in its entirety.

I write this post to share with you all something cool that happened at tonight's service at Spreydon. It wasn't about the music; it wasn't about the lighting; it wasn't about the message (but it did make me think long and hard); but instead it was all about one thing: an all-powerful feeling of release, an almost complete forgetfulness of all the worries that I have. And such power could only come from an encounter with Jesus. And even more remarkably, I cannot for the life of me remember the last time I ever had this feeling: I didn't want the Church service to end!

I didn't want the Church service to end! Was I really feeling alright?

For the first time in a bloody long time, I felt carefree. I felt released. I felt energised. I didn't feel ecclesiastically lethargic, nor did I feel cynical, as I admit I had been toward the Church for quite a while. Instead, I felt released from all of that, and just let myself out! I got right into the service tonight, and it felt nothing short of awesome! For the first time for as long as I can remember, I felt fired up about Jesus, about His Kingdom and His Church, about going to and attending services. Hell, I even felt fired up and energised about singing in Church - a phenomenon almost unheard of among males. But I confess - I felt all of that. And man it felt gooooood!

I just wanted to share all that with you. I hope that my encounter with Jesus is something that sows inspiration into you, and I hope that you too encounter Him in ways unimaginable.
A-Men!

We Are Go For Launch!

2009-07-25T16:25:00.003+12:00

As well as my current blog, I have launched a new blog. Without going into too much detail, you can catch it by clicking on the link on my sidebar, under "My Other Blogs".

Relighting The Flame

2009-07-21T21:32:00.002+12:00

This particular post that I am about to write - and consequently, you are about to read - has been a long time coming. This post has been a piece of self-reflection that I have been putting off, been running away from. But not now...

I am talking about "The Sims 2", and all its offshoots and expansions. For those who are not familiar with it, The Sims 2 is a computer game. It is a game that I have had on my computer, available to me for recreation, for the past three years. If you continue reading, lock that time frame in mind: Three Years. This time frame is pertinent to the rest of my post.

I wasn't always a player of this computer game. The first time I saw The Sims 2, I was immediately indignant towards it. I thought it to be a complete waste of time. This was many, many years ago, and of course, I wasn't making informed judgments of the game based on my own gameplay. Rather, it was a classic case of "book by its cover".

Halfway through my second year of Bible College, I had the fortune of flatting with someone who had the base game and a couple of its expansions. Figuring that I needed to know what was so special about The Sims, I decided to give it a crack, to give it a fair hearing, so to speak. Instead of reacting the way I did initially, I warmed to the game immediately. To be more frank, the game got a foothold on me, and with no warning at all, I would be spending many waking hours playing this game.

One reason I am writing this "confession" isn't to give you a history of my gaming prowess, but rather to highlight the side effects that came with playing The Sims to the amount that I played it at. During these past three years since starting playing The Sims, I developed depression-like behaviours and symptoms, which would literally sneak up on me and sideline me without any warning for three days at a time. One day I would be, well...me, and overnight I would become emotionally and cognitively paralyzed. Then, after those three days, I would return to normal again. These three-day patterns would come one every three to four weeks. At their most severest, they would come every two weeks.

However, even when I wasn't moving through one of my three-day motions, I would still exhibit anti-social behaviours. If I wasn't studying toward my degree, I would most likely be in front of my computer, playing you-know-what. During this time, I didn't do alot of social stuff with anyone, save at Bible College, and consequently I withdrew. During my three years, playing this game was sapping my social life away. My extroverted nature was being taken from me.

This gaming addiction (what else can it rightfully be called) also affected my work life too. Because of the mood swings I would experience, the times I fell into a depression state would drastically affect my physical health, as well as my emotional health. I took many, many days off work to recouperate, because my motivation hit lower than rock bottom. Such was the emotional paralysis, I didn't get out of bed some days. When I look back on this, I am surprised I stayed at WT without receiving a single written warning.

But that wasn't all that I lost. I have chosen the title for this post on purpose, because I also lost my flame. When I began College, I began with an energy comparable to the number Googol, but after I heavily got into The Sims, that flame suddenly took back seat, until - over time - it wasn't there at all. Playing a computer game snuffed my fire out.

Now, after three long, emotionally crippling years, I have decided to fight back! These last couple of days, I have been ill (not due to any emotional falling), and have had these days off University. Because I have kicked back and tried to relax, I have had a lot of time to think. And I have decided to rip out of my computer any and all trace of The Sims 2. And as I write this, I can proudly say that there is no presence of the game on my computer! And to be completely honest, when I uninstalled the last element of The Sims, it was like a weight left my entire being. And I look forward to the future, knowing that this bloody game isn't going to be a part of it.

Now, I hope you can recall to mind the length of time I asked you to remember (to help you out: Three Years). Some of you might think of me as a sad, little man, because you may be wondering how something like a computer game could do this. Understand this: ANYTHING can become an addiction. It matters not if it is a computer game, or a drug, or anything. Realise that there are people who are addicted to eating, to drinking, to, well...just about anything. In my case, it was a computer game that took so much from me. And yes, I did lack the willpower to prevent it, but that is the core nature of an addiction: you WON'T have the willpower to prevent it. Addictions take people, and it can take people to the very depths of emptiness. That is precisely what The Sims 2 did to my life. Prior to The Sims, I had NO history of any depression or the like.

Three years is a long time to waste on something like playing a computer game. I could easily have funnelled this time into meaningful pursuits, things that actually mean something. I could have learnt a new hobby. I could have really made a good deal of my studies. I could have invested in my friends, my flatmates, my family, and my fiancee (at that time). Instead, I wasted a lot of time, and as a consequence, lost a lot. Now that I am fighting back, I aim to regain control of my life, of my being.

And I hope and pray that my fire be rekindled, that the passion I once held be returned in full measure. And now that I have reclaimed my time, I hope and pray that it be invested into things that matter, things that ought to be invested in, especially my marriage. The last thing my wife needs, is a husband bent on playing stupid computer games.

And that's the last thing I need too. To The Sims, I say...no more!

Reconciling Justice

2009-07-14T21:29:00.004+12:00

It has been with interest that I have been listening and keeping track of the Sophie Elliot trial. Personally, I cannot for the life of me work out how a person, irrespective of social position, can stab anyone more than 200 times and claim a plea of manslaughter. I can only hope and pray that, in the end, justice will win out, and the Elliot family can gain at least some closure from all of this.

Sometimes, justice is hard to reconcile in light of my walk with Christ. Not that I have had any problem with justice. I certainly think and believe that justice fits into the framework of Christianity quite well. But for me, the problem of reconciling justice to Christianity stems from those who spout a pseudo-unconditional love, whereby it seems to cover EVERYTHING, no matter what 'it' is.

Let me illustrate my last sentence. Suppose it is midnight, and somebody breaks into your house, presumably to plunder your goods. Now you, the erstwhile homeowner, would interpret this scenario - correctly - as a threat to your family. What if the perpetrator also has ill intentions to rape your partner? Would you, in the name of Christlikeness, attempt to witness to this perp on the spot, and, because of the fear of the law, allow the perp to carry out their evil scheme?

I would dear hope that your answer would be a resounding "no". Yet, there are believers out there, albeit with all good intentions, who believe in a type of unconditional love that is actually an unconditional forgiveness. The two are quite, quite different. Unconditional love is loving the person, despite their imperfections. Unconditional forgiveness is the willingness to overlook their imperfections, even if it comes at a cost to ourselves. Of course, a strong Liberal persuasion have asked the question, "Why did Jesus have to go to the Cross? Couldn't God just simply forgive sins?" This is an argument pitting Unconditional Love against Unconditional Forgiveness. The Cross, thank God, honours the former of the two. It also demonstrates that, while love abounds in the nature of God, He cannot simply overlook sin. At the cross, justice triumphs, and also serves to us, His followers, to remind us that God takes sin seriously. So seriously, in fact, that it cost Jesus his life.

Unconditional Forgiveness, conversely, does not honour justice. It says that if a wrong is committed, then reparation will not be made for the wrong. Victims are denied closure, and perpetrators receive the message that they can do whatever they desire, knowing that forgiveness is just around the corner, ready to wipe the slate clean. It says that your partner can be raped, at no cost to the perp, and at a dreadful cost to you and your family.

Thankfully, I love the fact that I have God's unconditional love; for although He loves me just as I am, He will still on a daily basis hold me to account. Love and justice, hand in hand.

Just a few random thoughts. Time for me to head off to bed where it's warm.

Still Alive and Seemingly Well

2009-07-09T18:05:00.002+12:00

My good grief, it sure has been awhile since I actually wrote on this thing. To be perfectly honest and frank, it's been a looooooonnnnngggg time since I even thought about the world of the Blogosphere. But, here I am, apparently back again; back behind the keyboard and still typing strong.

What's been happening...let's see...since I graduated from Laidlaw College (formerly Bible College of New Zealand, of which it was called during my tenure), I returned to my old place of employment, Window Treatments, for another small stint of the full-time wage thing. However, this period would only last a year, for during my time back in the WT saddle (whereupon I was 'promoted' to a new position), I got thinking about my future again. Given what I was doing at WT, I didn't want to still be there after five years, having worked hard but gotten absolutely nowhere. So I decided to do something quite spectacular and unprecedented - I quit WT and left for the University of Canterbury.

And, as you can imagine, university commitments have been taking up quite a lot of my time.

As I write this post, I have completed (successfully I believe) my first semester of university, and after this weekend I will be back again for part two of my first year, recommencing my BSc degree with a "healthy" round of:
- Calculus
- Physics (see next paragraph)
- Computer Science
- Statistics
Physics is the surprise subject, given the fact that when I started my degree I didn't plan on continuing in Physics. But after I completed the introductory paper, I found that I loved it, so it became something of an easy choice to make. Watch this space...

Anyways, this is a post letting you all know that I am still out there. Hopefully I can be a bit more prudent in making future posts.

Peace out!

The Question Revisited

2008-10-28T20:53:00.002+13:00

A friend that i hadn't seen for a while asked me once "Where are you fellowshipping now?" and i think that's the key in this context. FELLOWSHIP.[1]

Fellowship is the being together and communing with each other, so then if that is fellowship, why call it church??[2]

Having posted a successful Soapbox post earlier, I hadn't anticipated the firestorm of discussion amongst other blogs and (possibly) word of mouth. Having watched the general discussion unfold since that time, I thought it was about time I added in my thoughts to the rather volatile subject of "Church"; namely, What is Church? A word of caution: I believe that this is a rather volatile subject for many for a good reason, and while I believe that part of the argument over what church is has to do with culture, I think the greater slice of the pie goes to...tradition. And here is why I think that...

It is my firm conviction that Christianity is at a crossroads. Here at the beginnings of the twenty-first century, I believe that we are at an exciting point in theological development. In the last century, the world has changed in ways untold, at speeds previous generations would never have thought possible. The world has become more accessible, more open, more conversant than it ever has been, and technology is only going to further this process. Yet for many who live in this time, Church evokes thoughts of mustiness, dryness, boredom, and irrelevancy.

And yet, tradition is what seems to keep the system of church the way it is. We turn up, we sing songs, we sit down to listen to a message, we stand to sing more songs, we leave. Period. This seems to be what most people the world over do, Sunday in, Sunday out. And here's the point: because that's the way church has been done for the past two centuries, why change it? That's Tradition speaking.

Yet here's the paradox: I believe in church. I believe that over two thousand years ago, God revealed Himself in the person of Jesus Christ, and since his existence, the church was founded; not by the Petrine lineage; nor by clever structural systems. But founded by the fact that God became like us. The church - I believe - exists to proclaim all that Christ was and stood for.

That was then. What is it like now? We turn up, we sing songs, we listen to a message, we sing more songs, we leave. Instead of an equipping church, we seem to have, today, a comforting church. Instead of a courageous church, we seem to have a soft church. Go to any church building outside of the West, and we find that it is hazardous to one's health to profess faith in Christ. Go to any church in the West, and the primary aim of Christianity is to keep oneself safe. Do not do anything to hurt or upset the status quo. Do not upset tradition.

[1] See the blog "Its a Rant Jim But Not as We Know It Part II" - http://youraveragechristian.blogspot.com/

[2] ibid.

From The Soapbox #2

2008-10-06T17:33:00.005+13:00

Given the fact that my first Soapbox was an absolute flop, I thought I'd give it another shot...

Below are two images I found on the web. One is of a Sunday church service, and the other is of Coffee Culture at the base of Hackthorne Road. For this episode of From The Soapbox, post a comment outlining these points: Which of the two images looks like church? And...why?

A Most Interesting Question

2008-10-02T20:54:00.002+13:00

Imagine this question: Why is it that most people - guys most of all - have absolutely no problem at expressing their excitement at a Rugby match, but seem not to have the same amount of passion for their walk with Christ?

At a recent gathering at a relative's house, this question cropped up in casual conversation between some of those present. I sat in the background, listening (eavesdropping, I guess) as the topic of conversation unfolded. To be fair, I was itching to get my word in, but the opportunity that was knocking initially passed me by. The women discussing this seemed perplexed; I was the opposite.

Let's start with the obvious: the world of sports, stereotypically, is a haven for the male temperament. Be it ball sports or anything involving motors, most guys get a buzz out of seeing their favourite sports team or profiler compete. I have been to many games at the now AMI Stadium cheering on Canterbury. One thing is indisputable: the place ERUPTS when Canterbury score a try!

Now for the guests' question: Why not be passionate about Christ?

That depends on how you want to view the question. Most guys that I know of are passionate about their walk with Christ. However, their way is not necessarily the church's way. In other words, the typical sports-loving male will find God in sports, but not in church. Why? Because the operation of a typical church service seems to be structured more around the women, children, and the elderly. Churches these days are a quiet place to meet God, and ministers the world over have created such an atmosphere. Can you imagine what a crowd 0f rowdy, on fire for Christ Rugby lovers would do? The exact opposite of what is expected behaviour of a church attendee. In short, males by implication are required to leave their manhood at the door. To be rowdy would be to upset the status quo.

I am therefore not the least bit surprised that the women of the gathering were perplexed by this "phenomenon". What they seem to be asking each other is, "Why don't guys seem to worship Christ the way we do?" The answer is obvious: Guys are not expected to. Nor should they be expected to. Yet for some unknown reason, churches and their congregations do.

The Missing Link

2008-07-22T19:08:00.003+12:00

Thanks to a good friend down south who lent me a book, and inspired by this post, I thought I would write my thoughts on something that could be described as a problem in today's church as we know it.[1]

Firstly, I have to put these questions out there, before I have a crack at giving my thoughts and opinions on them: Where are all the men? Where are those within the 20-30 age bracket?

Where are all the Men?
On the Sunday just been, I decided to do a little observation at the morning service of my church. My purpose: To check out the demographics of those who were in attendance. Although it was only one service, I noticed that there was a lack of men. Now, there were older men; men of around 50 upwards. But in terms of those within the late 20's to late 30's/early 40's, I was struggling to make a head count. The reasoning behind such an observation?

I recently finished reading the book Why Men Hate Going To Church. Now, with a title like that, you gotta wonder what the author is going on about. What I found, page after page, was nothing more than resonance. As I read through each part and chapter, I continually thought of my own church, and wondered what they have in the way of ministries/programmes (or whatever you want to call them) that men can participate in in order for them to express themselves as men. Now, I'm not talking about things like a weekly Paintball ministry, or Wrestling ministry or things to that effect. But a short flick through my church's (or perhaps, even most churches) web site and, in flicking through the various ministries that operate, one will notice that the roles are more easily defined for women to actively participate in.

Now, some might say that there are plenty of opportunities to serve in the church for men, if only they would get off their butts and apply. While there are grains of truth there, again, I would ask, in such roles could they freely serve as Men? Or do they have to supress all that it means to be male, made in the image of God? In other words, can somebody see a sports-mad publican (not alcoholic) taking care of toddlers in a nursery? Or a North Cantabrian farmer taking part in a bake sale?

In saying this, my church does have a small Men's ministry representation. However, looking at the notices or the site, one would be hard pressed to find out about it. In the seven years I have attended my church, I have heard stuff relating to Men's ministries only three times. Ever. I am also aware that recently that someone whose passionate about Men's ministries (who attends my church also) has tried to build up something of a more overt representation; to get the word out to men that there IS a ministry designed specifically for them! This was over a month ago. Nothing.

Where are all the 20-Somethings?
For me, and countless others, this decade of one's life is probably the most important. It is the age where we as individuals make our life choices. Do we attend University? If we do, what do we study, and how do we fund our study? Who will I get married to? Will I get married at all? What about an OE? What do I want to do with my life?

During this phase of life, it is a time of great decision making, the likes of which determine the outcome of one's entire life. Because it is a time of immense, seismic change in a person (particularly if you throw searching for identity into the mix), such an age group needs people to disciple them, look out for them, mentor them, help them in this turbulent transition. Yet...does such a ministry exist for these aspiring young people within the church? At my church, such a place did exist...but that was many years ago.

I am currently 25 at the time of writing this, and even though most of the above questions have been answered in my own life, I still face constant battles with what else to do with my life. On a plus side, it is a comfort that I am surrounded by awesome friends and the most wonderful woman in the world, to spur me on when things get down. I believe, personally, that something akin to this is needed in the church, if the church wish to be effective in reaching out to this age group, irrespective of gender. With all that happens in those ten years (and boy do they move quickly!), we need people who will guide us on the straight path, neither turning to the left nor to the right.

Notes
[1] I write "as we know it" because, maybe, we as Christians need to rethink our definition of what "church" is. Is it a place where we meet to sing songs, listen to messages, and add a little "I went to Church" checkmark in a box? Or is it something bigger than all of that?

I Am Sith!

2008-07-20T17:25:00.004+12:00

Got a bit adventurous with my video editing software...
Here's a short movie clip of me with a Sith Lightsaber in my lounge. It's a little 'choppy', but for my first real attempt at creating such a video, it's not too shabby, really.
Video Size: 3.75MB

An Update to Full Circle

2008-07-15T17:55:00.002+12:00

Since I wrote my post Full Circle, there have been a couple of developments that have arisen. One involves the University of Canterbury; the other involves Joyce Meyer.

Firstly, even before I wrote Full Circle, I had been frequently visiting the Seek website, checking out possibilities for future jobs. While there is currently nothing on the horizon, it has been good seeing what is out there. Aside from Seek, I have also been frequenting - moreso - the Canterbury University website. I have been going there to check out possibilities in "bettering myself"; getting a further qualification that could pave the way for bigger and better opportunities.

Secondly, my wife and I attended the GirlTalk event at the WestpacTrust Centre on Sunday night. Realising the name of the event (GirlTalk), there were a surprisingly good amount of men in attendance. As well as a fantastic performance by Parachute Band, Joyce Meyer was the keynote speaker. Now, I am quite allergic to anything resembling Pentecostalism [1] (for a number of personal reasons which I won't go into here), and accompanied my wife with a little tinge of apprehension. However, what I found was quite a solid, common sense message that didn't smack of veiled Pentecostalism. While I may be wary with regard to some of the things Pentecostalism claims, I found that I had no need to be wary at GirlTalk. If anything, I found it to be a most fantastic event, and I also managed to bump into some college buddies who attended as well. All in all, it was more than worth it to attend.

[1] Note that I am making a marked distinction between Pentecostalism and those who attend Pentecostal-denominated churches. One day I might write a post explaining why I am not so keen on Pentecostalism.

Christmas Has Come Early!

2008-07-15T17:37:00.003+12:00

Some time ago, I attended a Men's Breakfast organised by the blokes of my church. As these breakfasts usually involve great company and...let's face it...FOOD...I signed up and went. I mean, come on: bacon and eggs, and the rest. What more do I need to say?

Actually, quite a bit. As well as the event being a Men's Breakfast, it was also the chance for the men of the church to get to know our latest acquisition to the Pastoral Team, one Alan Jamieson. On the many occasions I've heard Alan speak, I observe a speaker with a no-nonsense, practical approach to preaching the Word. That is definitely something I do appreciate - getting stuck into not only what the Word is, but what the Word can do in our everyday lives.

But that's not all. During the breakfast, we the men got to "interview" Alan with whatever questions we could come up with. I forget the questions themselves, but I do remember this one thing in particular. Alan spoke of the "feminising" of today's church; a church culture that seems to be better at feeding the women, but not so the men. And he also mentions the book Why Men Hate Going To Church.

And thanks to a very good friend of mine, I now have said publication in my hot little hands. Temporarily mind you, but nevertheless, I have it! And believe me: this book will be heavily devoured.

Ever since Alan mentioned this book, I have wanted to get my hands on this book and read it for myself. Putting Alan's observations aside, I have also been left wondering where the men of the church are. As well as that, I have been pondering this little question, and I wonder if other men have as well. The question is this: How does a man demonstrate his love for Christ...when Christ is himself a man? In other words, how does a man tell another man he loves him? Or what does this love look like manifested in the life of a man?

Full Circle

2008-07-10T19:45:00.002+12:00

It has been quite a depressing period for me as of late. I think the above picture sums my present situation brilliantly. Over the last few weeks, I have been feeling like I'm in a position entitled 'Working Hard; Going Nowhere'. Ever Since I graduated from College last year with my degree, I have had one possible opportunity show itself for application of said degree. Unfortunately, the opportunity did not manifest itself into an actual position (which would have seen me become an Associate Pastor at this church), but hey, what did I have to lose by applying? More unfortunate than not getting the position is that the church has not responded to my last email: thanking them for considering me and asking for advice on what could help future ministerial opportunities that arise. Is this what I ought to expect from a Christian body?

That issue aside, I am currently slogging away at my old stomping ground in Sockburn. However, I feel like I have made it to the top of the heap, so to speak; that the position I hold is the highest I can possibly go. And make no mistake - the position itself isn't too glamorous. That being said, with no qualifications (other than my degree), no technical skills, no trades, am I to think that where I am at is going to be my lot in life? That I will forever be stuck working in factories?

As you can see, I am fed up to the hilt with where my life is at the moment. Yes, I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world, and that is something I would never change. But I am fast getting sick and tired of working hard for meagre wages, only to see it frittered away on bills, rent, and the ever-constant rising fuel and grocery costs. Where's the savings? As I'm currently on the minimum wage of $12, that's not a lot of wages to go round for a new family unit, let alone enough to whack off the bills and everything else that rears its fiscal head. It also doesn't help that New Zealand is teetering on the cliffs of Recession. I have found myself wishing with every breath that I was earning a much higher wage - and yet I feel like I lack the skills in order to secure jobs with higher pay packets. With the cost of living growing ever higher, I wish to be able to earn enough to not only knock off the expenses, but to also have a sizable amount saved for the future.

Like the title I've picked for this post, I feel like I've done a full circle in my life. Prior to college, I was in this exact same position. After six months of thinking about where I wanted to go with my life, I ended up at college and attaining my degree. Having done all that over the last three years, I have returned to that familiar question I asked myself long ago: What do I want to do with my life?

When I first asked it, I was a single man; I had the freedom that goes with being single, which enabled me to do some of the things I ended up doing in order to get into college. These days, it's a little harder to come by. I am not only a married man, but I am also the main breadwinner, and without my wage, these bills and the rent would not get paid. I do not have the freedom as I once did to make such decisions. In short, I feel like my fire has gone out. I feel like I'm stuck.

For those with families, my regurgitation of feelings is not an attempt to elevate my position of hardship over those whose needs outweigh my own. Simply put, from my vantage point, I'm voicing the concerns of probably over 80% of the country.

Why Trust the Most Trusted NZers?

2008-06-23T19:07:00.000+12:00

The annual ‘tradition’ of the Readers Digest is back again for 2008; the most Trusted New Zealanders as voted by the general public of this country. With a few similarities to that of the list of 2007, there are some very notable exceptions. Here are my thoughts on this years list of the Most Trusted New Zealanders.

First of all, the number one spot occupied by Corporal Apiata. My initial – and current – response: fantastic! Here’s an individual catapulted into the limelight from relative obscurity for incredible feats wrought with risks in the name of duty. It is no wonder Apiata captured the nation’s #1 place; a man of that proven integrity would earn anyone’s trust, surely.

However, I am utterly confused over the overwhelming majority of the top ten spots being occupied by sportspeople, ranging from Olympians to local ‘heroes’ (McCaw comes to mind). Would anyone out there like to cure me of my scepticism and explain to me how these seven sportspeople earned the ranks of the most trusted? Sure, they worked hard and earned gold medals and sporting accolades; but then again, so have countless others in their sporting careers. Go to any suburban cricket club, and you will find an accolade list of members’ achievements.

I know of, know, and have known many people throughout my life to date. None of them have any medals, gold or otherwise. Not all have achieved tangible sporting rewards, like trophies. None of those who I presently know are celebrities of any kind. But they all have one thing in common, and it is this.

All of these people have earned my trust. Some of these people I would trust even with my own life.

None of these people are on the Most Trusted list, top ten or otherwise. But I would like someone out there to explain to me how a gold medal or a trophy earns the trust of the nation. I can see how the nation can respect and admire those in the top ten for their achievements. I indeed respect and admire them for their achievements in the name of New Zealand, but I personally have no reason to trust them with my life.

Any thoughts out there on this one?

Where Have All The Heroes Gone?

2008-04-29T17:18:00.005+12:00

The other night I was cooking dinner, and the strangest thought popped into my head. For some unknown reason, I got thinking about television programs. More to the point, I got thinking about particular programs I used to watch when I was younger. I'm sure many New Zealanders can recall the TV program Heroes, cataloging stories of heroic deeds performed by ordinary New Zealanders, be it rescuing somebody from a mountaineering expedition gone wrong, or (in one episode) the actions of one who was faced with the Tangiwai disaster.

But that was then. These days, the TV screen, apart from broadcasting the six o' clock news or a Crusaders home game, is replete with programs with either sex or violence as its "vehicle" theme, or programs that run along the genre of "Reality TV". Shows like Big Brother come to mind, and far from showing examples of happy communal living, one is exposed to a myriad of backstabbing, jealousy, cheating, and the like. It is shows such as these that dominate our TV screens on a nightly basis. The main concern is that we viewers thrive off these shows.

My point is this: Where have all the Heroes gone? If television can be portrayed as a mirror of our prevalent culture, then our culture has shifted from praising role models to praising the darker side of the human condition. Ironically, we as people long for somebody to look up to, somebody to emulate in life. Yet if the absence of Heroes is anything to go by, then such role models are nowhere to be found. More sinister is the fact that perhaps we don't want a role model to show us the way. We like watching these reality shows because we thrive off of the misfortunes of others. One need only think of the rat race that is the business world to know what I am referring to.

Our culture has shifted dramatically to echo the words of Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan, who says in the opening lines of Vicarious:

"Eye on the the TV, 'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour it happens to be, like...
"Killed by the husband"
"Drowned by the ocean"
"Shot by his own son"
"She used a poison in his tea...kissed him goodbye"
That's my kind of story
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like I am a monster
Frown out your one face, But with the other:
Stare like a junkie, into the TV
Stare like a zombie,
While the mother holds her child, watches them die
Hands to the sky crying, "Why, oh why?"

Cause I need to watch things die... from a distance
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies...
YOU ALL NEED IT TOO, DON'T LIE."

Welcome Back...Yet Again!

2008-04-13T12:21:00.002+12:00

Hmmm...*thinks*...this is almost becoming something of a habit these days. But nevertheless, here I am - once again - in an attempt to return to the world of the Blogspot!

Since my last post (albeit six months ago), quite a LOT of things have happened in my life. I can explain these changes in a "I am no longer" list. So, here goes...

For starters, I am no longer a swinging seminary student (nice alliteration) of BCNZ. My three years have come and gone; my slogging away at a ministry degree is over, and I have since had my graduation and (finally) wrapped my sore-from-exam-writing fingers around a degree that I have looked forward to for so long. As well as this, I feel a great privilege to have stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the rest of my fellow students; fellow sufferers of the toils of study, who too have slogged away and gained their degrees as well.

I am also no longer a swinging single either. As of about a month ago at the time of writing this, I got married to an incredibly special friend of seven years, and have since set up home (again), this time as somebody's husband (incredible too is the fact that I just typed myself as a 'Husband'). While I am in some ways still getting my bearings around what married life entails, I will readily admit that married life has turned out better than I would ever have expected. Sure, there will be tough times at unexpected turns, but that is fine. Anyone who knows the scope and depth of my friendship with my now wife will know that we will be OK when testing times arrive.

Apart from these two seismic differences in my life, not much else has really changed. I have since returned to my original place of occupation, where I endeavour to think and reflect upon the next stage in my life, particularly with reference to where I wish to apply my degree and my learnings. Until then, I hope to be a bit more frequent with my blogging than I have been in the past.

Ka Kite Ano

Quandaric Honesty

2007-09-16T21:24:00.001+12:00

I have had on my heart a bit of a struggle for a while. However, it is only recently that it has come to a head, and I find myself faced with it eyeball-to-eyeball.

For nearly seven years I have been following Jesus, and He has lead me through all sorts of high points and low points, growing me incrementally each and every day (which is all good in my books). However, I have given this post its title because I feel I have a quandary, and yet I must remain up front and honest. So here goes...

My quandary is to do with how I live out my faith and what my "Christianity" looks like. Most people would agree that a large part of Christianity is to 'reach out and save the lost' (citing Matthew 28:20). Still others would agree that Christianity is to do with siding with the poor and the destitute, supporting them and lifting them up. Again others would agree that Christianity is about going into all the world, sending missionaries hand over fist (again Matthew 28:20; Acts 1:8).

My honesty is that "my" Christianity does not look much less feel like that. I do not have a heart for going into all the world, reaching out and saving the lost, and siding with the poor and destitute. Now, what I am not saying is that I am some sort of heartless, compassionless beast. But I want to share with you what I believe is another piece of the Christian jigsaw: Freeing people to be who they truly are.

On that note, who I truly am is not to do with evangelism, missionary endeavour, or going out into areas wrought with poverty. Though I do not ignore these three calls of Christianity, nevertheless who I truly am is in the area of Discipleship: coming alongside the believer and helping them grow in their faith. While some churches are into quantity, I am into quality.

Back to the quandary, the issue is that for the outsider, this might seem like I am not a "real" Christian; that I have a heartless faith and thus not even a true Christian at all. But for me, to enter into the three areas listed previously would seem like "manipulation" to me; becoming something that I am not. Like I said, I do not want to discount evangelism, mission and the poor, and I have the utmost respect for those whose calling lies with them. I am saying that where I am at is an entirely different kettle of fish; that this is who I truly am. This is what my Christianity looks like.

Would love people's thoughts on this one. Let me know what you think, but please do me one small favour...leave your labels behind.

From the Soapbox (Test Match Debut)

2007-09-16T21:12:00.000+12:00

For regular visitors, From the Soapbox would seem something of a random thing to stick in a blog...and you would probably be correct. But anywho, From the Soapbox is me coming across a question or an issue, and sticking it up as a post for all to see and discuss. As much as I could write my thoughts on pressing issues (as I often do), I want you guys and gals to share your thoughts with me on Cyberspace, if you wish to do so.

For my first ever From the Soapbox, this is an issue that pulls a lot of heart strings for me. How would you respond to the following quote from Paul Little? Contextual note: The quote is in response to the question of "Wouldn't it be better if God did away with all evil immediately?"

"If God were to stamp out evil today, he would do a complete job. His action would have to include our lies and personal impurities, our lack of love, and our failure to do good. Suppose God were to decree that at midnight tonight all evil would be removed from the universe - who of us would still be here after midnight?"

In Honour of September 11

2007-09-12T21:24:00.000+12:00

Six years ago, the face of the world changed;
Six years ago, the world would never be the same.
Six years ago, and it is still firmly lodged in our minds;
Six years ago, and yet it feels like yesterday.

Despite the war on terror that ensued;
Despite the threats of extremism ever looming;
Despite the exchange of words of those in the political realms;
Despite whatever we may make of this horrific tragedy...

Let us never forget
The unity that such a tragedy as this
Brought to humankind.

Even for one day...

Life After College

2007-09-11T18:55:00.000+12:00

As I march ever closer toward the completion of my studies, I cannot help but ponder a number of questions. It has been nearly a full three years since I embarked on an academic journey that I never thought I would ever undertake in my life. Nevertheless, here I am, nearly three years on, there is one thing I need to think about, and that is my life after College.

My current plan is this. After the end of November, I plan to return to my current work on a full-time basis. During the time I am at work, I will be using this time to think, reflect, pray, and seek guidance as to the "Where to from here?" question; namely, now that I have this degree, where do I wish to apply myself, ecclesiastically speaking? What Church do I see myself working within? What Church would God have me working within?

At the moment, I feel I need to take a backward step as it were, and examine what changes have occured once I graduate. For at one time, I had no qualification; now I will have slogged three years of my life to attain a Ministry degree, and I feel I need to examine what has changed in my life. I need to seek what new opportunities previously did not exist prior to my studies, and seek prayerful guidance as to what to do with said opportunities. Added to this is the fact that I am getting married in March 2008, so a lot is going to be different in my life, and thus another factor I need to consider.

Much meditation and reflection needed, methinks.

"Good Enough Stand"

2007-08-24T14:53:00.000+12:00

What an interesting morning it has been today for ol' me.

Today I had a lecture (on Friday of all days...) for Theology C, but put myself down as an 'explained absentee', due to my paid working commitments at Window Treatments. Unfortunately, neither of these two happened for me - whatever flu bug has been going round Christchurch *finally* found its way to me. And so here I am, at home, blocked, sore, and generally not feeling at all motivated.

So today, stuck at home, I took the chance to finish the upgrades I did to my computer. I bought a new 320GB hard drive to replace my two existing HDDs (totalling a mere 110GB), which meant that I had to reinstall everything. All my Windows XP updates, my antivirus software...everything! Thankfully though, I kept a backup of my 'irreplaceables', especially my BCNZ study stuff. Can't afford to lose those!

In trying to install Norton AntiVirus 2005, I found that I could not activate the software, because I had reached the maximum installations on my antivirus' product key. So I went to their website and entered a live chat session with an 'analyst'; a "Mr. Fix-it" fella, who got me back up and running again.

What I didn't bank on, was the fact that the analyst, whose name is Peter, is a Christian. After going through the processes of activating my software via his instructions, knowing that I have a head cold, he said that I was in his prayers. Touching =)
As a gesture of thanks to his valuable Norton assistance, and because I wanted to, I asked him if there was anything I could pray for. This was his reply, word for word. It's worth thinking about...

"To be good enough stand before when the lord comes in final day."

Such was this reply that I wrote it down on a notepad. And it got me thinking, as I hope it has you thinking also. When was the last time we pondered how we stood before the Lord? Do we even know where we stand? Do we even care where we stand?
I would hope that we do care about our standing before the Lord we serve.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

- Matthew 7:21-23 TNIV

The J Man Returneth

2007-08-22T21:41:00.001+12:00

My goodness! Where DOES the time go aye? A huge APOLOGY to all those who are (or have been, given the fact that I've either been absent, gone on vacation, or died) frequent visitors to my humble patch of Cyberspace. A lot has been happening in my life; some good, some not so good, and some that are downright depressing. But in any case...here I am, at last, writing again on my little blog spot.

Some good things that have happened in my life, although most people already know them through other means. I've managed to complete semester one of my third and final year more than satisfactorally (to my mind anyhow), and am but three months away from the end of my academic career as a Bachelor's Degree student. Wow, where DOES the time go?

I've also been planning a wedding during this time - yes, that's right, for those who somehow haven't heard, I am engaged =) I have been active in sorting out all the lovely details, both great and small, of what goes into a wedding, and so far there hasn't been very many problems. I sure hope it stays that way; intuition tells me otherwise. Oh well, still all good though.

Some not so good things have been that I've been battling with a sort of "mild depression" over these last three months. Some fellow students may have noticed my absense at college when I should be there for certain lectures. This is due to this mild depression taking my motivation and energy levels to near-zero, and thus leaving me in a sort of paralyzed state. These mild depression moments have come and gone, and seemed to operate on a fortnightly/monthly cycle, lasting for a few days at a time. This depression has made it difficult to live life to the full, especially since I have never in my life had such depression states before. As I write, I write as someone who feels a lot more emotionally stable, as opposed to a month ago, and have been for the last couple of weeks. I hope I can repeat this confident sentence in another couple of months, free from these depression swings.

Other than that, I've been doing the usual college-type stuff: meeting new people, making new friends (hopefully), trying to stay on top of my assessment list, and seeing my degree through to even the bitter end! Roll on graduation; it will be well earned, and I hope I can say that on behalf of everyone I have journeyed with at college.

40 Hour Famine

2007-03-09T19:15:00.000+13:00

Phew, it's been awhile since I last posted here. However, before I give an update on how things have been...

This year, I finally get round to doing something that I longed to do for ages...the 40 hour famine! Feel free to catch up with me sometime (if you can) if you'd like to sponser my efforts next weekend, or check out my online famine book at http://www.famine.org.nz/Pastor_J.

In other news, not too much has been happening as of late. I had my birthday on Feb 23, reaching the epoch-making milestone of...24! After a workwide shout of Coupland's savouries, and taking on a suicide level curry at Two Fat Indians (photos of which can be viewed at my Facebook), I could rest assured knowing I had seen 24 in, in style. Anyone who wishes to go to Two Fat Indians, I highly recommend it! And if you're at the Manchester Street one, check out the chalkboard - my name will be up there somewhere =D

My studies have kicked off as of three weeks ago, and the "honeymoon period" is over. In other words, it's head-down, bum-up time! Now that I've scraped into my final year of my degree, I've got every incentive to finish it. As much as I intend on graduating next year, I know it's going to be an uphill battle. But one which I intend to win...

It's Not Worth It

2007-01-27T12:56:00.000+13:00

Recently, a couple of cool things happened to me. I thought I’d share one of them. There’s probably a lesson in here for each of us, as there definitely was with me. For those of you who think God doesn’t speak when you’re on the job, think again…

I was at work a couple of weeks ago, and was asked to shift a whole lot of boxes and cardboard tubes around on shelves, each containing roller fabric. I had to dispose of the empty boxes and arrange the full boxes/tubes. Now, had I known I would end up shifting 1.5 tonnes of roller fabric, I probably would have asked for help. But I managed to get it all done – yay me.
Not long after I had started, one of the office staff came down and asked me to arrange the boxes in order of fabric types, to make it easier for her to search and find them. I wasn’t in the mood for orderly arrangement; I was asked to shift these boxes – 30kg a piece – to a new location to make way for incoming product. In fact, I was wild enough to stop what I was doing, and look for the supervisor that asked me to shift the boxes in the first place, so that he could veto the office worker’s “decision”. I got roughly ¼ of the way, when a voice said to me, “It’s not worth it.”
I stopped walking.
“It’s not worth it.”
I turned around, went back to my lovely, heavy roller fabric, and went about my task, arranging the fabric as well. All I could say in reply was, “You’re right, Lord.”

When I look back on that incident, I can see that I did the right thing in the end. To be honest, when I was told to move the fabric in order, I did get wild (within myself). I was asked to do a job by someone, and then somebody else from the outside thought they could ‘change the rules’, as it were. It is no wonder why I stormed away from the boxes and sought out my supervisor. It is no wonder the Lord stepped in and quelled my anger. You see, I wanted out of anger, possibly out of a revenge motive for this decision to be vetoed. But I was told, “It’s not worth it”. And it’s not. I could very easily have asked my supervisor to overturn the office worker’s decision, and thus I could have continued with my task unphased. But I probably would have lost the trust of a fellow worker.
The Lord was right. It is not worth it. I’m glad I turned back and went about my business. For all I know, it probably saved a lot of hardship later on.

Finally...!

2007-01-03T13:59:00.000+13:00

That's right folks! After years of putting it off, for numerous reasons, I finally took the plunge and as of Thursday 28 December, 2006, I entered the Drivers License Community. I passed my Learner's 33/35 (which is a pass for any class license of your choice, but I only went for the Class 1).
Look out roads...!

The Ultimate Road Trip

2007-01-03T11:26:00.000+13:00

Your mission, should you choose to accept it...is to drive to Greymouth to get some Fish 'n' Chips!
Sounds crazy? That's exactly what me and a dedicated team from Opawa did. And below are some photos of THE ultimate road trip!

The Christchurch weather.
The fearless driver!
The Tavern (probably the most prominent building in this 'town').
The place...
The final destination...
The reason we went to Greymouth!
Mission accomplished.

Coolest picture ever...!

2006-11-03T17:06:00.000+13:00

Inner Reflection

2006-10-04T18:46:00.000+13:00

I think it’s time to be honest with myself for a change.

It has been awhile since my last real post on my blog, and there are some reasons for this. The first is that I have, more or less, lost my motivation when it comes to blogging. The second is that I am going through a rough patch at the moment (in which I know I am not alone in), which is contributing to my loss of motivation. This ‘patch’ is study-related; I am going through what can only be described as a phase in my life where I have wanted to basically walk out. I have wanted to chuck in the towel, as it were, and walk out of my studies. I have found this semester to be a difficult one. It feels like I am caught in some sort of ‘limbo’ in my study life, where there seems to be a high workload yielding low rewards. By walking out, I can leave all this crapness behind me, start afresh and find motivation again. Maybe I will return, maybe not.

But that, of course, is not the answer…

I know that to have come this far in my studies, to walk out on it would tell me that everything I had to sacrifice in order to get into college would be for nothing. Walking out isn’t going to achieve the end goal. Walking out isn’t going to allow me to graduate, much less get me the degree. Despite my feelings of utter despair, despite this storm of life, I must press on. I hope I am not alone in this. If I am, then consider this post a whinge that has allowed me to express my inner feelings. If I am not alone, then at least I am not the only one going through this.

2006-08-31T15:49:00.000+12:00

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

75%

Neo orthodox

64%

Emergent/Postmodern

64%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

54%

Reformed Evangelical

50%

Classical Liberal

46%

Roman Catholic

43%

Fundamentalist

32%

Modern Liberal

32%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

R.I.P. Dick Smith ADSL Router

2006-06-23T22:09:00.000+12:00

My apologies to all, but I had a bit of an issue. My DSL Router at home (which is my only gateway to the Internet) decided to crap itself royally - leaving me without online capabilities. So basically...

- I couldn't access any money
- I couldn't send or receive any emails
- I couldn't check out my standing on TVNZ Virtual World Cup
- I couldn't do any blogging

So I've had a fun time outside of Cyberspace, but I'm back. Bought myself a new Router so, errrmm...welcome back, I guess...
P.S. Stupid technology...!

Apostate Christianity Survey

2006-05-30T16:55:00.000+12:00

I read this in a newsletter I stumbled upon purely by chance. Inside this newsletter was a survey taken among Evangelicals in North America, which is what this post is.
Here’s what will happen: I’ll leave this post up for a week, letting you guys read through it and post your responses as comments (I’d love to know what you all think about this). After the week, I’ll post up my own response.
Enjoy…

----------

Survey: Two-Thirds of Evangelicals doubt Jesus’ words regarding Salvation through Him alone.
There's a new poll out which points to a growing rejection among Evangelicals that Jesus is the only way of salvation. For years, most evangelical Christians have been taught and accepted the words of Jesus in John 14:6, where He states, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no man cometh unto the Father but my Me." But now a new Newsweek/Beliefnet poll is showing a shocking number of people who call themselves evangelical and born-again have come to reject those words. The question in the poll read: "Can a good person who isn't of your religious faith go to heaven or attain salvation, or not?" According to the poll results of more than 1,000 adults 18 years of age and older, 68 percent of evangelical Christians believe "good" people of other faiths can also go to heaven. Nationally, 79 percent of those surveyed said the same thing, with an "astounding" 91 percent agreement among Catholics, notes Beliefnet. Beliefnet spokesman Steven Waldman calls the results "pretty amazing."

Moral Laxity

2006-05-23T18:03:00.000+12:00

As much as it is not the nicest title to give to any post, through observation over time, I believe something needs to be addressed on this issue. I open this post with two recent examples:

Example 1
For three days out of my average week, I attend four (nee five) lectures at Bible College, plus whatever extra time I decide to spend in the Library studying. I’ve made a ton of awesome friends during my time there, and dare I venture to suggest, I’ve got a family there. But there are issues within the family. A couple of weeks ago, one of my peers left their desk for a short moment. When they came back, they found that their iPod and wristwatch were stolen. At the time of writing this post, they have not yet been recovered.

Example 2
After a three week absence, I returned to the Laser Strike arena, a game that I consider a sport, probably because I’ve never really taken up a proper sport and kept at it (I’ve stuck with L.S. for the past three, nearly four years). It’s great fitness and I’ve carved up a nice group there as well. In one game our lot played, we were joined by a bunch of nine teenagers, whom I recognized as youth from my home Church. We played the game, as you do, but it was not until we finished the game that I heard some interesting things from both camps. From my group, complaints of contact (the definition of contact within a L.S. context is broad, but I can state here that the contact was very light). But apparently, I had been told of threats from the youth side to specific member(s) of the group I was a part of. In addition, during the game it’s funny to see how people transform into green-streaked, competitive fighters, where the use of language is disregarded and the fact that they are Christians doesn’t seem to be factored into the equation. I think I’ve made my point.

In other words, to tie in these two examples, what the heck is going on with the Christian community? How can one justify the theft of any item within a Bible college? And this is a question shared by many at the college; it doesn’t seem to make sense. What kind of Christian witness is out there in the world, be it within college walls, laser strike arenas, mate’s houses, events…you get the idea.
In short, I believe there is a severe moral laxity among Christians in today’s world. And the Church, it seems, is making no inroads in dealing with these issues. It’s as if we are left to fend for ourselves, with the Church waving at us, saying “It’s OK – Jesus loves you anyway.” How do we expect to make a difference in society, proclaiming a message of hope and love, when Christians cannot even demonstrate that themselves?

I’m sorry if this sounds all too much like a whing and a whine – but someone’s got to voice their concerns…

Genealogy Update

2006-04-29T10:50:00.000+12:00

I promised updates as they came to hand, so here’s the first in what I hope to be a frequent list of updates.
I was in Central Library on Thursday for a good part of the afternoon, with a mission to find out more of my family line. Prior to this, my lineage became ‘cold’ at my Grandfather (on Dad’s side, the line I am fervently tracing). My aim was to discover who my Great-Grandparents were. After four hours of searching, I came away with what can only be described as a ‘baby-step’ – but it’s still a step nevertheless.
Going through early Electoral rolls, I have found a list of three possibilities of who could be my GG. Although (after some careful out-of-library research) I may have – by process of elimination – discovered who of the three it could be, I can’t help but sit in the chair of “Un-Confirmation”. I would like to confirm beyond all doubt that my Granddad’s Dad is so-and-so, and thus continue my trace of the Sumner family line. And maybe get out of New Zealand and plow through my ancestor’s homeland.

Watch this space…

2006-04-13T09:04:00.000+12:00

Today is a special day for Christianity. Actually, this entire week ("Holy Week" for the more traditional Churches) is special for Christianity. Last Sunday we celebrated with Palm Sunday. This weekend we celebrate what is known as Easter: the atoning death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. But today also holds significance; it is the day that the Lord shared The Last Supper with His disciples. Today (or tonight more to the point) I encourage each of you to celebrate this meal with Him. Invite your home group, invite your friends, invite whoever you want. Get some bread and some wine (or whatever you use in its place) and set up this magnificent table. May we 'break the bread' and 'drink of the cup' as we eat this meal in remembrance of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen.

Μισώ τις δοκιμές

2006-04-11T20:45:00.000+12:00

Tomorrow I have not one, but two tests! The first is a short Greek test, where I get to see if I not only learnt the Greek alphabet (in addition to twenty words), but if I also learnt the Greek grammar (order of words and the like). The second is a bit trickier; my Theological Method 90-minute exam.
I think there are two things on my list of things to do: Study (which I have done, and will do again), and Pray (which I will continuously do). And I’m ready to bet that I’m not the only one in this camp.
Oh well, in any case, I’ve got my hot Chicken soup in hand, and numerous books out in front of me. The fun never ends for a student of the Λόγος.

Peace out!

A Step Forward For Genealogy

2006-04-09T15:10:00.000+12:00

Ever since the first few opening weeks of my Spirituality for Ministry class (latter half of last year), I've developed something of a taste for Genealogy. I have conducted numerous internet searches for my forebearers and turned up nothing. The best I can do is get an exhaustive list of migrants to America, which of course doesn't help me. After countless efforts (and failures!) to establish something of a link, last Thursday marked a significant step forward, one in which I aim to build upon.
The image at the top is my Coat of Arms. I got that image after - by accident - stumbling upon a stall at Northlands offering the historical origins of a myriad of last names. Me, being curious and incredibly interested, checked it out, and walked away with an A3-sized 'history of my name', framed. Having gotten a hold of where (and when) my surname originated from, I have at least something to trace back to. I've also been informed by my sister that my Dad holds a wealth of family records, so no doubt I'm going to touch-base with Dad something in the very near future.
After nearly half a year of failures, things are starting to look a tad brighter. Hopefully I can check back with some more info after visiting Dad. But for now, I at least know of my Coat of Arms, as well as its history (and what a history it is as well).

March 31

2006-04-02T15:27:00.000+12:00

March 31: The end of the Financial Year.
March 31: The date for the major stocktake of Window Treatments.
March 31: The bane of my existence here on earth.

Yesterday was the day that I loathe the most. There’s something unappealing to going to work and counting virtually everything in stock. And yet myself – and a handful of the W.T. veterans – arrived that morning ready to arm ourselves with stock sheets and pens, ready to do such meticulous counting. Gaaahh! The only part that was enjoyable? The five savouries and two cake pieces I ate during break (generously shouted by the boss, a long-standing tradition on ‘Stocktake Day’).
After completing that task, I returned home to resume another arduous task: my essay for Sermon on the Mount. I’ve made awesome progression (and discovery) through my research phases, and this afternoon I set out to continue turning my many pages of notes into structured essay. And with Tuesday morning as the time I hand it in, I’ve certainly got my work cut out! The real problem is in how to word my rough notes into the essay. Should be interesting…
In other news, the Crusaders took on the Hurricanes last night, and me and a mate overseas had a drink riding on the game (Coke v Lift Plus). When he gets back in a month’s time, I will have to tell him the “good” news that the Hurricane’s got done! He’s a Wellingtonian, you see, and loyal as anything. Almost as much as I am to Canterbury. Oh well, a Coke for me!
As I’ve always said: C’mon you Crusaders!!!

I am Bond...James Bond

2006-03-25T14:42:00.000+12:00

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner.

James Bond, Agent 007

88%

Neo, the "One"

75%

Maximus

75%

El Zorro

71%

Batman, the Dark Knight

67%

The Amazing Spider-Man

63%

Indiana Jones

58%

Lara Croft

54%

William Wallace

54%

The Terminator

54%

Captain Jack Sparrow

46%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Turning Point

2006-03-25T14:33:00.000+12:00

Last night my girlfriend and I were at the flat, and a mate of mine (incidentally her brother) visited and we got chatting. We got into a discussion mainly centered on a conversation I had with a guy I work with. Without going into any great details he offered the opportunity for the three of us to get into a ‘prayer circle’ and just pray about anything that came to mind. After we went round the circle as it were, my mate ventured out on a limb, which forms the rest of this post. Hold onto your hats!
Here’s a question to ponder: Is it possible to hold on to unforgiveness for 17 years, without even knowing it, or knowing why? That was my unconscious position for that length of time, yet during the prayer time my mate was getting what he could only fathom as words from the Lord. Acting on these words, he asked if I was holding onto any unforgiveness toward my Mum. I remained silent, although my eyebrow was raised at this point. When he spoke those words, I hadn’t the slightest idea of what he was talking about. If he was speaking the truth, I thought to myself, then I don’t know what’s going on. To my mind, I was harboring no unforgiveness toward my Mum. But his vision from the Lord continued further; he asked me to picture when I was a little boy. And it is from this point that the night took one heck of a turn! To my mind, I had one – only one – memory of anything ill about my Mum when I was a little boy. When I was six, my parents separated (later years would turn separation into divorce), but at the time I had no idea what was going on. My aforementioned memory of my Mum during that time was her walking out of the house, with me looking outside from the spare room. That was it, my memory. Nothing more. I did not think that this was cause for any unforgiveness, but nonetheless I began to explain this event in my life to the prayer circle.
Then my mate began to ask me questions surrounding it; ‘Where was Jesus in all of this?’ I replied to him, ‘Nowhere’, because at the time I had no knowledge of God, and wouldn’t have any until I was 14. If Jesus was there, I sure didn’t see him. That was more or less my response, so my mate prayed to reveal to me exactly where Jesus was in that situation. Retaining my image of Mum walking out (with me in the spare room), I saw in this vision a man dressed in white standing next to me. His hand covered my eyes, and he said to me: “Your eyes will not see this until the proper time.” I did not know what that meant, so I confessed this element of my vision. I was asked then to identify the man in white. My answer was plainly obvious, on the level of being asked to put 2 and 2 together. It was Jesus, and I understood His words. When Mum walked out, I did not understand what was going on. All of this was well above my head; hence my eyes did not see this. The proper time, it seems, would either refer to later years revealing to me the why of the divorce, or to this night.
But throughout this vision I was having, I saw this little boy and Jesus from a third-person perspective. And the little boy was talking to Jesus. And as the outsider looking in – the little boy’s future counterpart – I could hear their conversation. The little me was asking Jesus what was going on, and Jesus was replying in words that could have only been from the mouth of the Lord. My six-year old self had many questions, and Jesus answered them all. During this vision, my mate asked me if there were any lies I took on board since the separation, and he asked the Lord to reveal them to me, if I could not see them. And indeed a lie was revealed to me (but for personal reasons I won’t post them here), to which I replied as to what this was. I was then prayer over to have this lie broken, removed, set free from my life. And no sooner had he prayed over me, I did feel something come off. I did feel loosened from something.
I write this post because I wish not to forget what happened last night. I felt the power of God in a way I have never felt before, for a long time. God came down and revealed to me an unconscious unforgiveness that I was holding onto. And now I can say that I have been set free from the separation, the lies I held to, the events that would shape me as a result. I have been made new, because God had decided that – through my mate – last night was the proper time.

Time For Change

2006-03-22T22:54:00.000+12:00

After dicing it up in my head for almost too long, it’s time to be brutally honest with myself about blogging. Visitors will spot the ever-growing gap between blogs, and that’s for a very good reason; I’ve (sadly) lost the ‘drive’ to blog as frequently as I used to. When I began my blog, it was in the middle of last year for one of my classes. When the nature of my posts didn’t meet the grading criteria, this blog then essentially became my online place to express my thoughts, feelings and opinions, particularly theological ones. These days, my blog has declined into none of the above. Looking back now, I think I placed upon myself unnecessary pressure/obligation to blog. This of course, is the wrong approach, and henceforth I am going to try a different approach to remove the ‘compulsion to post’, the expectation. I will instead opt to turn this blog into a more ‘personal’ direction. My idea at this time is to mainly check in each week with how I’m going, what’s good and what’s not so good in my life…basically, returning to the personal side of blogging (within reason of course). If I have theological musings, these will most likely be written offline on my computer, rather than posted up here.
In any case, I won’t be disappearing completely, just rehashing the whole aspect of blogging.

Peace out!

Of God And Illness

2006-03-07T17:49:00.000+13:00

If you’re anything like me, then you hate it when you’re stuck at home nursing some kind of illness. That’s been me over the last couple of days; I’ve been recovering from a sore stomach and, would you believe it, was caused by me eating far too much sugar products! Let’s just say that when you get a bunch of mates sitting at home watching the Crusaders on Sky, one tends to get a bit too “partied-up”, no alcohol needed. That was me on Saturday night…and Sunday/Monday was spent in stomach agony. When will I learn!
But being stuck at home has its upsides too. Like not being at work for instance (although I did go to work on Monday). But I didn’t get to College because I wanted that extra day of recovery, and I’m pleased to report that I am back to my normal, energetic self.
Being stuck at home also allows one to sit back and reflect on God. I mean, what else can you do when you’re crook? When you’re used to sprinting through life, you’re now forced to hit the brakes and take life in the slow lane. I’ve used my “day of slowness” to sit down and catch up on some homework (which I’m now up-to-date with), and it’s interesting that God can be found within my studies. I’m sure many of my College buddies can attest to that. I wouldn’t say that God has leapt every time I flick over a page, but just little seeds here and there have helped me grow in this faith journey we call life.
So the next time you get caught out by any sort of illness, sit back and take the time to mull with God. When you’re healthy and stuck in the fast lane of life, seldom does anyone check up on their personal growth. I am one such person. I need to downshift, and maybe you do too.

Return Of The Student

2006-02-15T14:05:00.000+13:00

Disclaimer: Most of you may have noticed that I deleted a post prior to this one. That’s because the post contained a HTML graph that stuffed up the menu on the right of my blog. Hence, I removed the post.

The day has finally arrived; I’m back at Bible College. Today is Wednesday and halfway through the Orientation Week, and man it feels good to be back! I have returned to have a stab at the second year of the Degree problem. It’s interesting being a returning student, among all the first-yearers. I remember when I first started at College. I was like a stunned mullet, with this “what’s going on here” look slapped all over my face, having no clue as to what this new place is and what I’m getting myself chucked into. I know how the new students feel, and I hope that I (and the rest of the returning crew) can get along side the new students and help them into the college family atmosphere. Either way, it’s shaping up to be yet another fun – and hard working – year as we all seek to discover not only our brains, but what God has in store for us as we enter our studies.

Peace out.

Merry PC-Christmas

2006-01-24T20:00:00.000+13:00

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while, but have never gotten round to it. However, here I am, so brace yourselves in and cast your minds back to Christmas 2005…
I love Christmas. I love the fact that there in our calendars is a day to commemorate the birth of the One who came to save every single human being in history (and future). Years ago, it was just a day for me to get tons of presents, but these days my focus has shifted somewhat. However, not everyone out there shares these views. Yes, I’m referring to both the birth of Jesus and the secular present-swapping tradition. For those of us that keep abreast of the news, we will have followed the uproar of Christmas itself. I read everything in my workmate’s paper about it: there were scores of letters, articles and snippets dedicated to debunking Christmas as “exclusive”, and cries of “multi-culturalism” echoed throughout as a counter or rebuttal. I remember thinking to myself, isn’t it funny how Christianity or anything linked with Christianity gets bricks thrown at it, yet every other religion remains unscathed? Let me elaborate: Christmas is under fire as being too exclusive. Why don’t I hear anything against Hanukkah? Why aren’t people taking pot shots at Ramadan? What about the page-filling story in The Press about the birthday of Hinduism’s foremost deity, Ganesh?
My point to you is this. The cries of “exclusivity” are coming from those who by choice did not wish to partake in the Christmas celebrations themselves, be it celebrating Jesus’ birth, or swapping gifts. Those that are pushing for an “alternate Christmas” (or a “neo-Christmas”) are not only those who would deny Christ’s birth and existence (done by choice of course), but these very same people would have no problem with the other festivities I’ve listed. Hanukkah is specific to the Jews, yet I hear no uproar. Ramadam is the Muslim month of fasting, yet noone throws up their hands and cries “intolerance”. And I don’t recall ever hearing a bad word slung against Ganesh or the Hindu celebrations themselves.
One final point needs to be written: I also find it funny how those that sling arrows at Christianity do so from a most comfortable range. It only seems to be those not interested in belief in Christ (or any “God” for that matter) that seek to bring Him down – or out – for anyone and everyone. How does the general public (aided by the Government) seek to establish a PC, tolerating society when intolerance is still rife? Does the existence of intolerance not suggest that there is a line to live by? Does not the rampant advance of intolerance show us that we are far, far from this line?
I would be willing to bet that God is looking down on His creation. And He is crying. He is crying to a world without ears. He is crying to a people that couldn’t care less. And we have done all this…by choice.

The Amazing Thing About Grace

2006-01-23T22:17:00.000+13:00

I was cleaning out my room the other day, and I discovered a book that I had not read in a very  long time. This book was Philip Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace?  This book has a history: A cell group I once belonged to (that is, before it disbanded) used this book as the basis of our studies. In fact, the copy I own of Yancey’s book was a study guide to it. Either way, we were unable to complete our study of the topic of Grace, due to our group splitting off.
Anyways, the re-discovery of this book got me thinking. What is  so amazing about grace? And at work one day, the answer came to me. Ponder this passage of scripture for a while…

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
                            – 1 Corinthians 1:18-19

One of the central keys to Christianity is the doctrine of Grace.  Jesus came as the once-and-for-all sacrifice for the forgiveness of Sin, which of course was His saving act by His blood, on the Cross. One thing to bear in mind about salvation by Grace is that it stands in stark contrast to salvation by Works.  And here’s where I got thinking in overdrive: when we do wrong against another person, our natural tendency is to “work” off the transgression we caused to him or her. A sense of guilt accompanies an act of wrong, and we naturally try to work off our guilt, in the hope that we have done enough in order to satisfy the person we’ve wronged. Now, almost every major religion (Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, et al.) stresses that it is by our good works that we are able to be made perfect. And you would expect an all-powerful God – creator of all things - to look at us humans, and look at those who have done the greatest. Yet the very same all-powerful Creator God does the exact opposite  to the common sense and logic of human thinking. In fact, the message of Grace can be summed up this way:
“God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
                            – Romans 5:8

Arthur's Pass

2006-01-23T20:38:00.000+13:00

Remember my post from way back when I went over to Arthur's Pass for the day? Here's some photos of the day =)
Enjoy...

The Crew (Left to Right: Ricardo, Miriam, Andrea, Myself and Peter)

The Crew (sans Andrea) atop a bridge on the Devil's Punchbowl track

A view of a really cool mountain

Devil's Punchbowl Falls

This is the self-suspending ice-shelf I made reference to in my last post about Arthurs's Pass. Considering it's the middle of Spring and it was roughly 25 degrees outside, this was the most impressive bit of the whole tramp!

Full Scale Clean-Up!

2006-01-17T18:58:00.000+13:00

Although it wasn’t intended, this post is mainly ‘an extension’ to my previous post.
I have titled this particular post as is on purpose. Basically, I need prayer…tonnes of it! I have fallen into a lull in my lifestyle at the moment, and it has created a suffocating aura, an aura that promotes nothing but sheer laziness. It’s not that I don’t do anything, it’s just that I have fallen into a trap (like so many people do) of getting into a habit of playing far too many computer games. Yep, I get home after work and the first thing I do is blob. Where do I blob? Not in the lounge, that’s for sure. I blob in my room, in front of this screen of mine, and waste my time playing games.
However, I need a change. Prior to typing this post I uninstalled every single game off my computer, now I need to pack away the boxes. The prayer is mainly for not only breaking this deadly and anti-social habit, but to also devote my time to more meaningful, fulfilling activities.

Thank you…

The Busy Slacker

2005-12-28T14:09:00.000+13:00

Hehe long time, no blog!
I haven’t quite vanished from the face of the Earth; just a small blog to let you all know that I’m alive and well. I hope you’ve all had an awesome and memorable Christmas, one filled with wonderful times and reflections of God deciding to pop on down to Earth as a manger-dwelling infant. I have disappeared temporarily from the blogspot for a number of reasons. Firstly, check out my previous post (Golden Age) for one reason. Secondly, I’ve not been able to have any time to myself for the last month. Ever since exams, I’ve straight away returned to Window Treatments as a full-timer until my second year kicks under way. Thirdly, if I haven’t been at work I’ve been elsewhere. It seems that my time has been spread across many fronts, and the fact of the matter is, you are reading this particular post because I finally managed to have time all to myself.
Anyways, must dash. I didn’t tell you how much time I had to myself (clue: not all that much). But rest assured over my absence I’ve collated some juicy ideas for posts that will hopefully spill over from my brain to my blogspace. But until then, have a happy New Year’s celebration(s). Don’t do anything I wouldn’t (list not available) =)

Peace out!

Golden Age

2005-12-08T17:31:00.000+13:00

“…Lord, there was a time when I had a ‘Golden Age’ in my life…but I have forgotten what that feels like. I pray, Lord, that you would restore to me what it was like to live life to the full. I pray once again for a golden age…”

What you have just read is a small and somewhat paraphrased version of a prayer I made to God a long while ago. When I speak of a ‘Golden Age’, I speak of a time when I was living life with all the energy in the world, where (almost) everything seemed to be running quite nicely, and if the enemy decided to wage war, I was able to ward off such attacks in the power of God. That time was at the start of this year, and has been lost since April. And the time that has followed hasn’t been all bad,  but inwardly I had felt empty, that a piece of me was somehow missing or in need of restoration. Many times I had prayed similar prayers (like the excerpt above), because noone  likes living under a dark cloud, so to speak. I had times where I hated my life. I wanted something more.
Then God showed up…

Recently, I returned to my place of work (see previous post), and have been having an absolute blast. I have regained a lot of energy since returning, and this has served only to lift me up. But it gets better. Last Tuesday I played Laser Strike with my teammates and we thrashed our opposition, paving the way for next week’s final against the top team. So I’m pretty stoked about that. And today I tasted – for the first time in ten months – a full-time wage, and am aiming to save as much as I can, as well as buying Christmas presents and a place ticket. So all these have also  lifted me up, but these pale next to what really  set my life spiraling upward! I don’t want to sound like a “spiritist”, but I really felt that God has blessed me, by not only giving me all these little victories and niches (because it’s the little things in life that really count), but on Friday night I feel that God had given me the greatest gift anyone could ever receive from His hand – namely that of a special someone =”) Me and my best female friend of three awesome (and turbulent (1)) years are now going out. And ever since then I have been walking differently.

Oh, and if that last sentence sounded odd, read it again in light of what I’ve just written. The words are simple, but the meaning is there.

Praise God, for His testing of those He loves. Praise God, for the blessings that follow. Praise God, for Him being God.

Notes:
(1) By ‘turbulent’, I mean that me and my friend have got perhaps the  strongest friendship I’ve got with anyone out there. We’ve been through so much crap, it’s not funny! But we’ve always stuck it out, and have emerged stronger as a result. And now that we’re going out, if a problem arises, we know how to deal with it. Praise God for special friends like that!

Is Your Heart At Risk?

2005-12-03T12:16:00.000+13:00

Inspired by Lani’s blog, I decided to partake in the Cynicism test…
* * * * *

You scored 10, on a scale of 0 to 30. Here's how to interpret your score:

0 – 10: Risk-free. Your Cynicism level is very low.
11 – 20: Somewhat cynical. Your Cynicism level is probably high enough to be of some concern.
21 – 30: Severe cynic. Your Cynicism level is very high.

What I'm Up To (In Brief)

2005-11-30T19:02:00.000+13:00

With Bible College ceasing for the year, what has become of the J can be summed up in two words: Window Treatments.  With the end of my study life comes the re-entering of my full-time working life, as I make a return to the place where I built my life. I am working there more or less until my second year gets under way, which isn’t for another ten weeks at the least. And here I am – as I said in my November 1  post – joining my ‘working family’ for the longest haul in the infamous W.T. Christmas Period. In a lot of ways it’s great to be back! I feel comfy and right-at-home in the W.T. atmosphere, so it’s great that I can hang out with my workmates like the days of old, and have a good hard slog at the same time. But on the other hand, I miss College life. But I know in time I will be back for the long haul. Can’t wait to see you all there in 2006.
As well as returning to workplace life, I also stamp my authority on the Laser Strike field as I return to my tourney team as well, much to their delight. We played the top team last night and lost to them, but only by 40 points! We went in with a ‘tactic’ and came out with brains full of ideas and refinements. Next week we play a team called ‘Tekken’, and if we play the way we played last night Tekken are going to get ripped to pieces. That’s the plan anyway, and plans always  look good on paper, don’t they!
Tomorrow night I’m off to my Dad’s house after work for dinner and quality time, so that oughta be awesome…providing I can beat him in Darts. Difficult when he’s a Canterbury rep!
Anyways, off to host home group tonight, and I need to shave!
Peace out from the J =)

2005-11-28T22:04:00.000+13:00

Remember those plastic signs that you can stick to the back of your windscreen? Here's the best one out there.

Ryan Sumner, Dip.BS

2005-11-27T21:22:00.000+13:00

What a year it’s been! Here I am, more or less at the end of my first year at Bible College, and what a year it’s been! I started out on this journey of living with Jesus in early 2001, so I guess I’m coming up to my fifth birthday – even though I’m 22! I came from a background of partying, drinking copious amounts of goodness-knows-what, smoking, and on one occasion drugs. But all that’s in the distant past. I’ve often reflected on my past with a chuckle to myself thinking, five years ago I would never have thought of this whole God-thing that I’m doing! And I would never have picked this ardent ex-Atheist to be willing to give up full-time work to go to Bible College to study to become a Pastor. What a 180 that is!
So as I sit back and reflect on this past year, I remember that I’ve sacrificed so little in order to gain so much. I gave up full-time hours to put time in attending Bible College. I gave up earning $400 a week to pay $3000(+) for my dream. My relationship with my girlfriend at the time before College ended (long story), only to gain a whole heap of friends that I so see as something much, much more. Thank you guys for being my family this year. Thank you my Boss for letting me go to strive toward my calling (and still return for part-time work). And especially thank you God, for making yourself known to me in ways I cannot articulate. And that you’re still with me, even when life throws me curve balls.

And to everyone – roll on next year for another round! See you all there =)

"Coincidences"

2005-11-23T22:08:00.000+13:00

Tonight has been a night of some amazing “coincidences”, in particular two things that have contributed. The first is from my home group tonight, and the second is from my mate at College. Both of what was said parallels quite nicely and somewhat profoundly. I think there’s a message from God in all of this, so I think I’d better write it down for future reference, as well as for the benefit of whoever visits my lovely corner of the Internet world.

I’ll start with home group: we looked at the book of Esther tonight. Our aims were to delve into the book and create a character study of Esther’s two chief characters: Esther and Mordecai. We split into two even groups and studied a character each (my half chose Mordecai). When we met back, it was amazing to see just what we pulled out of the book. What was equally more amazing was that both of us zeroed in on perhaps the key point of the entire book. Basically, the book of Esther explains a string of “coincidences”, one after another, in succession. First, Esther just “happened” to be chosen as the new Queen, who just “happened” to discover a plot against her people, the Jews. She just “happened” to win the King’s favor enough to have the Jews spared, and just “happened” to be written in the legacy that is the Bible. Those who have read Esther will jump on the key point: God is behind it all. Although He himself doesn’t get mentioned even once, nonetheless God doesn’t have to be blatant for it to be of God.
The key point in the book was the sentence that Mordecai gives to Esther: “For such a time as this”. Explaining Esther’s position, Mordecai charges her with why she’s Queen in the first place: to save the Jews from genocide. Being the only person conceivable who would have spoken up for the Jews, Esther agrees despite the conviction that she could die trying.
For me – and for the group as a whole – the “for such a time as this” passage speaks volumes to us today. And I want to link this with what a good mate at College said (you know who you are): The Bible speaks of God’s redemptive work throughout creation and history. And we as humans have a chance to act in God’s redemptive plan. As my mate put it, we get to write something in the Bible. Not literally speaking, but we have our lives, and we have this golden opportunity to bring about that which the Bible speaks of. What an amazing “coincidence”, that in two days I hear this central theme. I don’t want to risk making it more of an issue than what it ought to be, but dare I say I think there is a word from God for all of us…

…for such a time as this.

That Time of Year

2005-11-23T14:00:00.000+13:00

One down, one to go!
Last night I entered into the first of the two exams I have at the end of this year. After spending ‘far too much time’ studying (all of about nine hours!!), I wrote at speed to complete two hours of OT exam. For confidential reasons I can’t mention anything of what I wrote, but I can tell you that I was full of confidence during the time. Thanks to Warwick I didn’t fall into the trap of the first semester, and this time I had all three questions show up (funny that). I don’t mind telling you all that afterwards I felt drained! And my vision was somewhat fuzzy when I left College and went to board my bus back home.

Roll on Thursday for my NT exam – but for now it’s time to hit those books.

Happy Me!

2005-11-20T22:18:00.000+13:00

Today marks a momentous occasion. Although I an tentative around the term best friend (because some people think it’s a preference between friends), but being the un-PC man that I am, I use the term freely because I’ve grown with my best mate for the past 11 years, so I guess you could say that he knows just as much about me as I know about myself. Anyways, he spent about eight months in Australia on a sort of working holiday/adventure, and today he arrived back in good ol’ New Zealand. He misses Aussie, as you can imagine having made a lot of new and awesome friendships over there, but to be honest it’s so cool to have him here after all this time =)
Thought I’d share that with one and all. Needless to say, I’m in a very happy mood.

Anne Graham's Take

2005-11-19T21:08:00.000+13:00

I was sorting through my My Documents folder and came across this file. It is a post from my 20’s group’s Forum, and I decided to save it to my computer. What follows is what was posted in its original form. It made me think…

* * * * *

Hey, this is something I want to share with you - Following the terrorist attack on the World Trade Centre, Anne Graham, the daughter of the evangelist Billy Graham was asked on a TV program how God could have let something like September 11 happen. This is what she said - it is something to think about!

“I believe that God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman that He is, I believe that He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and protection if we demand that He leave us alone? I know there’s been a lot of e-mails going around about September 11, but this really makes you think. In light of recent events… terrorist attacks, school shootings etc... Let’s see. I think it started when Madeline Murray O’Hare complained she didn’t want any prayer in our schools and we said okay. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and that instructs us to love your neighbor as yourself. And we said okay. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would become warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, as an expert should know what he’s talking about, okay. Then, someone said teachers better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the education department said no teacher in school had better touch a student when they misbehave because we don’t want any bad publicity, and we surely don’t want to be sued (There’s a big difference between disciplining and touching, beating, smacking, humiliating etc). And we said okay. And then someone said, let’s let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won’t even have to tell their parents. And we said okay. Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys, and they’re going to do it anyway, let’s give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won’t have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said okay. Then some top elected officials said it doesn’t matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn’t matter to me what anyone, including the President (USA) does in private, as long as I have a job and the economy is good. And then someone said let’s print magazines with pictures of nude women and call it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body. And we said okay. And then someone else took that appreciation a step further and published picture of nude children, and then stepped further by making it available on the Internet. And we said okay, they’re entitled to their free speech. And then the entertainment industry said, let’s make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence and illicit sex. And let’s record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide and satanic themes. And we said it’s just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a lot to do with “We reap what we sow”. “Dear God, why didn’t you save the little girl killed in her classroom? Sincerely, Concerned Student”. And the reply “Dear Concerned Student, I am not allowed in schools." Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say or do anything the Bible says. Funny how someone can say, “I believe in God” but still follow Satan, who by the way, also “believes” in God. Funny how we are quick to judge but not be judged. Funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Maximized Manhood?

2005-11-16T11:11:00.000+13:00

Yesterday I got a shock in the mail. Not a bad shock, but something that I did not quite expect to get. I was in my room, typing away, when my flatmate walks in brandishing a rather large envelope – addressed to me. She dumped it on my bed and walked out, carrying on doing her own thing. Me, intrigued by this new entrant, opened the envelope, and discovered to my amazement that it contained my certificate for Maximized Manhood!
For the past many Monday nights, I’ve been heading off to a men’s small group, working through the “Majoring in Men” curriculum. Thus far I’m doing the “primary” curriculum, and have successfully completed the first book in the series of three. So here I am, feeling pretty good about myself at this point…then something hit me. A sense of shame and guilt came in. And I knew why.
To get this certificate, you need to first complete an exam and send it away for marking, at which point you get a certificate in due course – if you pass of course (and it’s very difficult to fail in these exams). But I hadn’t actually sent my exam away! How on earth did I end up collecting this certificate? I felt bad at this point, because here’s a fine piece of paper I haven’t properly earned. So today I’m going to put this right – I’m going to thrust it in an envelope and post it out. That’s the “shame” part, now for the “guilt” part.
If I look back on my life during these past couple of months, I will find that I haven’t lived a maximized life. Anyone whose read Maximized Manhood (Edwin Louis Cole) can spot the central message, and the call to Christ-like manhood. I ask myself: Have I been living a manhood that God wants me to live? Have I been living at my potential? Have I really been living at all?
The guilt will pass, but will leave behind lessons that I’ve gotta take on board. Prayers and accountability would be most cool =)

Vulnerable

2005-11-15T22:25:00.000+13:00

I have known this for a number of years, but even to this day it still hits itself home in my life. Relationships are one of my biggest weaknesses in my life. Allow me to explain…
If you’ve managed to get through whole-cloth my previous post (the really really large one), you will discover that yes indeed, I do have a ‘crush’ on someone. There’s good news and bad news that ties in with this. The good news is that I’m currently only interesting in building up a friendship first. I have known all too well what it’s like to date without that solid friendship foundation in place. The bad news is that (and yes I have chosen the right words) I feel drawn to someone else. I know the words I’ve used may sound a little odd, but I hope you can grasp the central message I’m trying to communicate. But it’s a little more complicated than that. The person I have the ‘crush’ on lives in Christchurch (which is good), but the person whom I’m feeling drawn to is not a permanent resident to New Zealand, and is returning to her home country in February. And that’s a big shame, because right from the word ‘go’ we’ve hit it off and act like we’ve been friends for years. I enjoy her company immensely, and am not looking forward to having her return to her home country. There have been – and will be – many prayers thrown upwards to God, as one would expect. Your prayers and comments are of great appreciation =)
I know what the solution has to be, but it’s a tough situation when you like one person but are drawn to another. I hope I’m not a lone voice in this. If there have been any other people that have experienced this, I’d love for you to leave a comment.

I Am Ryan (well, last time I checked...)

2005-11-15T16:32:00.000+13:00

I got looking on Lani’s blog, and spied an interesting post. It’s one of those About Me questionnaires, and so I thought I’d copy and paste the questions, and follow up with answers pertaining to myself =)
Enjoy, O web surfer…

The Basics
Name: Ryan
Height: 5’10”Shoe size: 9
Hair color: Very Dark Brown
Siblings: 1 Older Sister
Eyes: Hazel and Green
Hometown: Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
Current Home: As above, but also residing in a house
Favorite Places: Hawdon Valley, Arthurs Pass, anywhere that is tramp-able.
Favorite Sodas: A mix of coke, fanta and lift (in equal thirds, this makes raspberry!!)
Favorite Games: Chess, Risk (Original and LOTR), the Civ3 board game
Favorite Food: Indian by far!
Favorite Book: Bible, The Case For Series
Favorite Place to Eat: Errrmmm…pass?
Favorite Fancy Place: Probably Brisbane. That’s pretty fancy…
Favorite Hobby: Computer Games
Friends: Of course I have…I hope =)
Favorite Show: I hardly watch TV, but it would have to be That 70’s Show and Doctor Who
Favorite News: TV3
Favorite Dog: A “woofy” dog, that actually looks like a dog. Bichon-Frise doesn’t count! Neither do Chihuahuas
Favorite Sports: Cricket, Soccer, Laser Strike
Favorite Fruits: Bananas, Mandarins, Apples, and definitely Strawberries!
Favorite Song: Too many to list.
Steak or Lobster: Gotta be steak, especially T-Bone
Favorite Colour: Red
Favorite Weather: Thunderstorms!

You…
You have a crush on someone: That I do…but it would be telling =)
You wish you could live somewhere else: Nah, where I’m at is all good. I’m close to everything close to me
You think about suicide: There was a time long ago when I did, but I’m too chicken to take my own life
You believe in online dating: Kind of. Never done it, but for some people it seems to work. Not for me though…
You want more piercings: More? I have to actually get piercings first before I can get more =)
You like cleaning: Not my favorite pastime, but if it needs doing, then here I come
You like roller coasters: I’ve been on a few ‘dry’ ones, but none that go upside-down
You write in cursive or print: Hell yes I write in print
You last talked to: The bus driver
You last did laundry: Saturday
You last prayed: Last night

For or Against:
Long distance relationships: Against, but that’s because it never worked out. I have no doubt they can work, but for me it’s difficult
Killing people: That’s a tricky one, and hotly debated out there. It’s very scenario-dependable
Teenage smoking: Against smoking irrespective of age
Driving drunk: Totally against
Gay/Lesbian relationships: Against
Soap operas: Not a fan of soaps.
Iraq occupation: Another tough one. Pass.

Have You…
Ever cried over a girl: Yes
Ever cried over a boy: No
Ever been in a fist fight: Yes
Ever been arrested: Almost, but no
Ever had a friend die: Yes, unfortunately
Ever dated a cousin: Urgh! Heck no
Ever used a gun: Does Laser Strike count? But other than that, yes. It’s not much but I’ve used a bolt-action small-bore rifle. Wouldn’t mind using my mate’s .303 =)
Ever finished a puzzle: Yes
Ever got surgery: Yes, mostly on my teeth
Ever got beat up: Yes
Ever hated someone: Yes
Ever made a huge mistake: HA! The greatest rhetorical question ever – yes
Ever tried any drugs: Yes

What
Shampoo do you use: Dunno…what’s there is what I usually grab
Shoes do you wear: Crusty $20 Warehouse ones
Are you scared of: Spiders and Death
Do you sleep in: Boxers, but also a bed
Did you eat for lunch: Today I grabbed Subway
Is love: You cannot answer this in one sentence. But the best I can do is that Love is not what society defines it as. Love is the highest good in this cosmos that is founded in the one true God
Is a player: people that screw others round (in a relationship context)

Number
Of times I have had my heart broken?: two or three
Of hearts I have broken?: hopefully none, but I don’t think I’m that lucky
Of times my name has been involved in drama?: Pass
Of scars on my body?: Many!
Of things in my past that I regret? Quite a few
Of drugs you have taken: one
Of accidents you been in: I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a huge number
Of people you broke up with? 12

Favorite
Five letter word: House
Actor/Actress: Harrison Ford/Nicholas Cage and I can’t think of an Actress (yet)
Comedian: Billy Connolly
Candy: Fizzy Tabs
Cartoon: Tom and Jerry
Cereal: Weet-Bix, and my Mum’s Special-K
Day(s) of the week: Wednesday and Friday
Least fave day: Sunday
Flower(s): Roses
Shapes: Dodecahedrons!!
Jello flavor: Raspberry
Summer/Winter: Winter definitely. I can’t handle the hot weather of summer

Person who last…
Slept in your bed: Me
Saw you cry: my best mate Nat
Made you cry: A friend’s mother (long story)
You went to the movies with: my ex-girlfriend
Yelled at you: Ummm…long time since I was last given a serious yelling. Most probably my Dad
Sent you an email: TradeMe

Have you ever…
Said "I love you" and meant it?: Yes
Gone out in public in your pajamas?: Hehe no
Kept a secret from everyone?: Yes
Cried during a movie?: I have been close, but not fully yet
Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: No
Planned your week based on the TV Guide?: Haha a few times
Been on stage?: YES! It’s soooo cool
Apples or Bananas?: Bananas
What was the last meal you ate?: Subway
Last noise you heard?: My excessive typing
Last smell you sniffed?: Coffee
Last time you went out of town?: Labour Weekend (Arthur’s Pass)

Friendship/Love
Who was your first peck on the lips?: I dunno...Mum??
Who was the last person you kissed?: As above, without the ‘I dunno’ bit
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: Yes, probably two. Not really keen for an overly large family. As long as it stays together =)
Most important things to you in a friendship are?: Trust and Honesty

Random Stuff
Criminal record?: No
Do you speak any other languages?: I know bits of others but none that I can speak fluently
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: Computer, CDs, Books, and of course myself
Thing you dislike about yourself the most?: My insecurities
Worst feeling in the world?: Depression
Whom you love: Family, friends, and my cell group leader
Whom you miss: Nana

Your…
Nickname(s): The J Man, J, Jethro, Spike, Vegito
Initials: RBS
How old do you look?: I haven’t shaved in four days, so I look like I’m roughly 25?
How old do you act?: serious
Braces: Never had ‘em, never will
Do you have any pets?: Four cats: two at my Mum’s house, one at my Dad’s house, and the next door neighbors cat that visits us from time to time
You get embarrassed?: very rarely, but it happens
What upsets you?: A lot of things, but can be summed up in three words: lack of integrity

Not Quite Phil Mickelson

2005-11-11T17:18:00.000+13:00

Have just got back from Golf – man was it a hot day or what! Me and my mate Terry went round Leeston and had an absolutely awesome time. Good game, great company, and nice summer weather to wrap it all up. I went round in 138 (boo), which is a shame since I usually whip round in the low 120’s. Terry on the other hand went round in 103, which isn’t bad considering he hasn’t played Golf in just over a year.
Now I’m back at my flat taking it nice and easy, out of the hot 30 degree sun. I bought two bottles of Aqua-Shot for drinks, and both bottles got downed in no time flat (as you can imagine). I think I’ll tidy my room, as it needs a good dunging-out! All in all though, it was an awesome way to spend a public holiday. Roll on the next one…which I guess is Christmas.

Long Weekends

2005-11-11T09:04:00.000+13:00

Today is “Show Day”, or lesser known as Canterbury Anniversary Day. For most cantabrians, that means it’s off to the A&P Showgrounds for a day at the Show, checking out different farming sections, rides and displays. For me, it’s a day out at Leeston for a round of Golf. And man am I gonna be sunburnt when I get back!
Yesterday was an awesome day too, just quietly. My morning run didn’t happen as my running partner got caught out by a stomach bug, but that left me able to sort out some things for College, namely Fieldwork. I visited my Cell Group Leadership FieldEd supervisor to finalise all the details of the fieldwork and (eventually) hand it in for a cool five credits. After that I came to College for a bit of reading and Cricket, but the Cricket wasn’t happening for two obvious reasons. One: there weren’t enough players there. Two: it was flippin’ hot!
Five o’ clock saw the BBQ prep all wrapped up, and a decent number of us tucked into the end of year Barbie. Congrads to the three lucky entrepreneurs who have been elected as next year’s student reps. I was so hoping that I was one of the three, but that’s all good. There’s always the third year.

Anyways, I’m off to grab my breakfast and a cuppa. I hope your Show Day will be as enjoyable as mine…and a lot less hot!

Regaining Spirituality

2005-11-09T17:13:00.000+13:00

”If people want to go to a spiritual person, they generally won’t think to first go to a Christian…”

Anyone who was in the LTTB class on Tuesday will know that I have made a bad paraphrase of the above sentence. But there is a point: Christians are not seen as spiritual nor possessing spiritual power.
Here’s an example that was given: a Missionary goes to some far away remote destination to preach the Gospel, say, Africa. He enters a village, shares the Gospel of Jesus Christ, wows the village, and saves the lot. Not a bad effort you would agree. Hold onto that thought for a minute while I digress. Almost everyone (compared to 30 years ago) believes in some form of spirituality, whether it is Tarot, Astrology, New Age and so forth. The problem is that more often than not organised religion (especially Christianity) takes a lot of flak rather than “membership”. These “New Age” followings that I’ve just mentioned are seen as “real” acts of spirituality, or at least people getting a dose of spirituality per se.
Let’s return to the Missionary example. Recap: you came, you preached, you saved everyone in that village. Now for the punch line: an African village will most likely have a Witch-Doctor living nearby. And if a village member discovers that his house is haunted or cursed, he will go visit the Witch-Doctor. Why? For the exact same reason as my opening line suggests: If people want to see someone with spiritual power, they will not first go to a Christian. At best, Christians are seen as “nice” people. Nice in the sense of the virtues that Christ has called us to live out. And these virtues as we know them are good! But as agents not only of God’s Love, but of God Himself, we are told that we too can work signs and wonders just as Jesus did. And one of the most powerful weapons a Christian wields is Prayer! If you think that example is a weak one, then flash back to how many times you have asked someone to pray with or for you. We wouldn’t ask people to pray for us if we didn’t believe that prayer had incredible power. But here’s the thing: we do believe in the power of prayer. Prayer can heal, restore, strengthen, bind, release…you name it.
Here’s another punchline: as Christians we do possess spiritual power. That is, the power that God has given us through His Son.

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” – Mark 11:23-24 NIV

The Blogger Returns

2005-11-07T17:27:00.000+13:00

I recently had a look on the comments of my last post, and a great mate of mine has wondered – in paraphrase – why I haven’t posted in a while. The truth is, not a lot of interesting stuff – personally or theologically – has happened in my life. But wait no longer, for I have returned with a post no less! I’ll start off my outlining how my weekend has been.

My weekend was a pretty good one overall, apart from yet another lazy Sunday. Saturday was good though, apart from a lousy migraine. I went to work on Friday, as I do, and I was approached by a supervisor asking if I wanted to come in on Saturday morning, to which I said ‘yes’. Being a student, I need all the money I can lay my hands on, particularly with Christmas in seven weeks, not to mention my Dad’s birthday next week. So I turned up, knowing exactly what I was in for. We (the workplace) had a 40ft shipping container arrive earlier in the week, and there were five of us (including myself) tasked with emptying it out. Now here’s why I got a migraine: First, it was a hot day. Second, I’m in a 40ft container that is amplifying the heat with no wind whatsoever. And third, there was 15 tonnes of product to shift out of this aforementioned container. So you can imagine I had a “tonne” of fun. After doing that for four and a half hours, I came back home and well, had a migraine. At about 6 that night I went out to a BBQ with the 20’s group from Church. BBQ’s rock, as did the company. I had planned afterwards to head on out to Rolleston for the fireworks, but instead went “with the crowd” to New Brighton, as no-one was heading out to Rollas. Stink for me.

I had never been out to the New Brighton fireworks before, but this year changed all that. I went with a small bunch from the BBQ. Somehow we found a park (right on a street corner!!) and walked out to the pier. We got there just in time, and man what a display it was! I thought it was far too short, but for my first time out there I could hardly judge. The fireworks themselves were good, but I can’t say the same about the environment around. After staying on the beach for an hour afterwards, me and a mate decided we’d call it a night. So our “driver” per se walked us back to his car, but we passed through some stuff that I will never forget. Basically, the whole of New Brighton was cordoned off, so cars couldn’t drive round. So needless to say there was a massive turnout on Saturday. The vast majority of those present were teenagers. Now I don’t have a problem with teens – at some point in the past I was one (but man has that time been and gone) – but most of them were off their faces! A couple of them were throwing up, one outside a St. Johns ambulance (convenient), and one outside their mate’s car. And if they weren’t drunk, they were either violent, tagging, or accidentally hitting other people with fireworks. I don’t remember New Brighton being such a haven of drunkards five years ago (and I probably sound like some prehistoric dinosaur saying that), but man things have changed. And I saw all past night, and not just a classy fireworks display.

Sunday was an OK day. Went to a different Church for morning service to check it out. It was certainly an interesting service (a Pentecostal denomination it was), but I did enjoy the message given. Al Furey (who was visiting at the time, other than that he’d spent a lot of time in Cuba) gave a message on “Building your house”, and sadly I forget the text he used. But he used the term “house” to define generational bloodline, not just a physical act of building a house. And it got me thinking about my “house”. I am the only Christian in my family (unless my quest for genealogy records proves otherwise), and thus I have the chance to build my house, and to build it under the Lord’s guidance and purpose. I never grew up in a Christian house, and so never knew the love of God in my growing years. But I have the opportunity (when the time comes) to share with my future kids the love of God that has so touched me over these last four years. Anyways, I went to my Church’s evening service, and it felt good to be back in familiar territory. The message was a good one, based around Prayer.

Phew! That was some post. If you’ve made it this far you’ve done very well! And sorry to those who visit my blog but haven’t had anything new to read. I’ll try to be more frequent next time round.

The 'C' Word

2005-10-30T22:51:00.000+13:00

For regular visitors to my lovely corner of webspace, I have written many articles on things I have encountered, things I have done (such as my last post before this one), and musings on a sort-of philosophical playing field. And all these are good and valid things I have written, but not a lot about the man behind the blog. My very first post was an introduction saying that my blog was for reflection on life and anything else that takes my fancy. Readers beware – I’m about to get brutally honest with myself.
Over the last few days, I have felt like crap. Sure I’ve been enjoying life, keeping a smile on the dial, but for the most part inwardly I have been feeling empty. I know that He is close, but I feel like God is far away from me at the moment. For all I know, it is probably just a patch or a phase I’m going through. But for the moment I’ve been feeling empty inside, I’ve been feeling lost and confused about a few things, and this feeling of being lost has only added to what I can only define as feeling crap!
I’m not writing this post to seek pity. Just simply – for the first time in a long time – being honest with myself with where I’m at.

The Last-Minute Rush

2005-10-26T17:29:00.000+13:00

With November fast catching up in the calendar year, it is becoming apparent to me that I still have much to do academically!
November 1 used to be an ‘historic’ landmark. Because of the nature of my out-of-studies work (being in a factory involved in mass production), I always defined November 1 as the start of the “Christmas Period”, the infamous eight-week period where production seems to triple from nowhere, pushing man and machine to their limits. Tempers fly, screws come loose, stuff breaks down (albeit at the worst possible time), but at the end of the day it’s a job well done…for eight weeks! Thankfully, my “Christmas Period” doesn’t start until November 28, but the time at Window Treatments that will be spent full-time will be hard enough.
But that’s not what I’m talking about in my blog. November 1 will mark a different landmark. Even now, I am being made aware of the assignments and essays that are still outstanding. I’m sure I’m not alone in this camp. I’m sure that there are others rowing this boat, scrambling frantically to hand in essays before their due date, tying up loose ends with regard to fieldwork, and making sure their PGM is up-to-date. Compared to this, the exams seem like child’s play.
I don’t know about you, whoever you are reading this, but I’m looking forward to exams. I know that when I reach that lovely hallmark that is November 1, I will look back on the year and find that I have grown so much; spiritually, academically, relationally…I can’t name a facet of my life that hasn’t been changed. And yet, I still have so far to go…and I don’t mean two years of study.
I’m sure my workmates will cope with November 1 and beyond. After all, we get a lovely company-paid spit roast on December 23! But as for me, I will be joining them on November 28. For the time being, I’ve got essays to write up and hand in. I’ve got a Diploma to pass and then throw away – spending my credits on the Degree instead.

A Day Out At Arthur's Pass

2005-10-24T19:20:00.000+13:00

Today being Labour Day, I had the opportunity to head over to Arthur’s Pass for the day with four of my mates. The idea of the day was just to chill/hang out with one another, have a lot of laughs, throw a rugby ball round (don’t ask me about my Mehrtens impersonation), and to take advantage of the many walking tracks Arthur’s Pass had to offer.
I had an absolutely breathtaking day! We first walked around the small township (actually, to and fro from the Info Centre), deciding what tracks we wanted to walk. In the end we chose two tracks: one lead up to a waterfall, and the other was a four hour return walk through the Bealey Valley. Anyway, the first walk was good. The waterfall walk was only a twenty minute venture, but then we left the “main” track and opted to see this waterfall up close and personal. Man it was HUGE! If I can, I’ll post up some photos of our walk (once I get copies from my friend’s digital camera first).
The second walk was mostly done on the river, where the water wasn’t flowing. Lots of rocks, some water, a heck of a lot of sun, a few burnt bodies, but scenery that you cannot get anywhere else! We walked right to the end of Bealey Valley up to a glacier, where we were met by not only a small waterfall, but a massive snowshelf – in the heat of the day – that you could walk under. But I decided not to, mainly because there were heavy rocks on top of this shelf, and with the snow melting I didn’t want to be underneath if it ever collapsed!
I love expedition. I love tramping. And rather than stay at home in Christchurch, doing goodness-knows-what (probably not a lot), I had the time of my life away from the city. And if the opportunity ever arose to me again, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!
Arthur’s Pass – I’m coming back sometime! Hopefully soon…

How On Earth...?

2005-10-21T17:13:00.000+13:00

This is perhaps my shortest post in blogging history!
I was at my workplace today, and one of my workmates got Tennis Elbow playing Cricket.

Is that even possible?

Origins of the East and West

2005-10-20T22:22:00.000+13:00

I have Foundation for Missions class on Wednesdays, and I have to say that it was an interesting, insightful class. Allow me to elaborate...
My lecturer was teaching us, with the aid of trusty Microsoft Powerpoint, and on one of the slides he brought up an interesting comparison between Eastern and Western cultures/nations. The picture I've appended at the top of this post serves to highlight these differences, which I will explain shortly. For now, I will more or less echo what my lecturer had to say.
Basically, when you think about it, all the world's major religions had their roots in the East. In fact, every religion can be traced back to the East. And in present day 2005, there isn't much difference; Eastern culture is still very much founded on the Spiritual and the Religious. The first three logos of my banner represent the three major religions to come from the East.
Contrast that with Western civilization. While the West was founded initially on Christian principle, today it is seldom practised. Since the days of Darwin, Man (I use this term plurally) has broken away from his Creator and instead opted to do things his way, which brings us to the other three logos: namely, Atheism (represented by the hammer and sickle), Rationality (representing modern thinking man, bound only to the natural), and Science (of which modern thinking man appeals to instead of God). So Western culture is very much grounded in the Rational, the Real, the Natural, and the Scientific.
It was interesting having this difference explained to me, because - while it had existed for a long time - I had not known of it before. I had never thought of it that way. And this is the very world with which I am a part. I am in this scientific, rational culture, bereft of its Creator.
And yet...I have a duty to bring God back into the equation. For East to meet West again, as it did in the Apostle Paul's time, and those that had gone after him.

The J Can Dance!

2005-10-15T00:48:00.000+13:00

Tonight was Ole, a ball run by the 20’s group at my Church. About a hundred people turned up, a band named ‘Ritmo Latino’ provided the musical entertainment, and there was limbo and dancing galore.
Would you believe, there IS a dancing bone somewhere in my body! Now, I’ve never been in a dancing school, never taken lessons, never danced before in my life. Yet here I am – complete greenhorn – up the front bustin’ a groove! What an absolutely fantastic time it was! I’d do it again if I could.
Anyway, must dash. It’s nearly 1am and I have to get up at half past 6 to get ready for a Marae visit. Man am I going to be tired…
But hey, at least I can dance…after all =)

The Spirit Made Me Write This!

2005-10-13T20:47:00.000+13:00

I have often wondered why we do this. Not that everyone does it, but they are out there, at this very minute, as I type my post. I’m talking about Christians who seem to explain away situations with that world famous biblical clique: “The Spirit made me do it…”, “God told me to…” or, “The Spirit told me it was OK…”
Have you ever had a conversation with a fellow Brother or Sister in Christ, and have they spoken this infamous one-liner? Have you caught yourself saying it?
The times I have heard it spoken to me by good mates of mine, is usually when they have rang me up for a listening ear. And hey, we all need that kind of accountability aye. But often when they have asked me for my opinion on the matter, naturally I have given it (more often than not my opinion is a challenge to what they rang me up for). And it is only when I challenge them on their lifestyle do I hear that the Spirit said it was OK. I find that somewhat irritating, and here’s why. First off, why ring me if the Spirit said it was cool? Surely the entire point of the phone call was because you felt a nagging within yourself, and you wanted to know a solution to the problem. But in acknowledging the problem is to also say that the Spirit wasn’t cool with it. If the Spirit was cool with it, then there is no problem, right?
Secondly, as was affirmed in my N.T. class today, the Spirit – being the very nature of our Father God – would not partake in anything contrary to His being or His will. And if we imagine that the Spirit said that sleeping with someone outside of marriage was OK, then what Spirit is that person listening to? Also, remember that even the Devil can masquerade as an Angel of Light.
And thirdly, and I know it sounds blunt, but using that one-liner sounds so much like a cop-out! Rather than face our sins and our shortcomings, we would rather shut them up, bolt them down, turn our backs and walk on…without actually dealing with the sin in the first place. That is the way of the sinful nature.

One final note: I have absolutely no doubt at all that the Holy Spirit speaks into the lives of people. But I do doubt I hear the Spirit affirming a sinful act.

My Generation cf The Next Generation

2005-10-12T22:17:00.000+13:00

I was going to write this post up last week, but never quite got round to it, so here we go…
Last week at my home group saw the final chapter of the “Decisions” bible study we were working through. I had the privilege of leading this particular night, but before we got under way we ‘broke the ice’ with our happenings for the week, and David (our leader) mentioned the recent Bali bombings. What he said was quite freaky, and this is the basis of my post. Definitely worth thinking about.
Twenty years ago, terrorist attacks – especially of this frequency – were unheard of. Islam was a religion seldom mentioned here in the West. Around about the time I was born the world was (relatively) a safe place to live in. But these days things have changed. Ever since the events of September 11 the world was moved into a completely new direction. No longer is there a thing called safety. Islam is now making headlines throughout the world. Terrorism happens every week, every day! You cannot get away with buying the paper and not reading about some sort of terror attack. The world has changed.
Here’s the freaky bit: as I said, when I was growing up these events were unheard of. Terrorism in my childhood was not the norm. But the next generation is growing up with sound knowledge of all these awful events, and they will grow up thinking that this is the norm. Why? Because this is the environment they have been exposed to. To them, this will be the new norm.
I wonder, what will the world be like for the next next generation?

Culture Shock

2005-10-12T16:15:00.000+13:00

Today was one of the more unique days at College.
On Saturday a group of us students are heading off to Akaroa (pray for sunshine) for the day, and the reason being that we are visiting a Marae. The last time I stepped onto a Marae was when I was about ten, and that was out at Pages Road. Anyway, we had a class today which was a rundown of protocol (sort of a “how-to” of Marae events), and yes…we even got to sing!
The last time I remember singing Maori songs was back at my primary school (loooong time ago), and even then I hadn’t really had a good grasp on the Maori language. Mind you, from an early age I was taught that I didn’t go to school to sing, I went to school to learn.
So fast forward to today. I’m my own person, with my own choices. And I have indeed chosen to sing. And I tell you what: there’s nothing like singing to God in another language. It’s actually quite a rewarding experience, so I can’t wait to step onto this Marae, for the first time in twelve years, singing this song of praise and welcoming one another…

He honore                      (all honour)
He kororia                      (all glory)
Maungarongo                (peace)
Ki te whenua                 (over all the earth)
Whakaaro pai e            (goodwill)
Ki nga tangata katoa    (to all people)

Ake ake                        (forever, forever)
Amine                          (amen)

Te Atua                       (to God)
Te piringa                    (our desire)

Toku oranga                (our well being)

C'mon Canterbury!

2005-10-08T20:58:00.000+13:00

The title says it all really...c'mon you Red and Blacks!

My View vs The Church

2005-10-05T18:25:00.000+13:00

(Disclaimer: This is going to be a large post.)

I was reading the post of a good friend of mine, and it has inspired me to write a post of my own regarding the issues he has raised. You can read the original post(s) here and here (you may need to read them in order to get a better grip on what I’m trying to say).

There are two things I want to explore in my post, all of which have been gleaned from my friend’s post. These are:

A Divided Church versus A Unified Church

Hypocrisy within the Church

These will be explored in turn.

A Divided Church versus A Unified Church
What exactly is it that divides a Church? What can happen in order to have a unified one instead? I guess this is both a problem and a solution for churches nationwide – or worldwide for that matter.
I want to first open with a quote from my friend’s post:

In a perfect world I would like to see one church
stand together against Satan and not fall down
because they can't agree on which denomination
they belong to. (1)

I find it amazing that whenever I have asked people about their Christian journey, they more often than not say, “I’m a Baptist” or, “I’m a Catholic” or, “I’m Anglican”. I was once asked this and I responded with “I’m a Christian”. I didn’t say that to sound smug or superior. I said it because that’s who I am. My name is Ryan Sumner, and I am a Christian. I can’t pinpoint the exact time that denominations turned into “armed factions”, but that’s what has happened in today’s church. We have become entrenched in this thinking that says my church is the right church, and all those others are wrong! It’s like saying the Anglicans have the way of salvation, and the rest are like blind guides. Did I miss something? Isn’t Jesus Christ, the Son of God the way of salvation? And if that is so, then how is it that we believe that Christ is only part of one denomination? He flipping isn’t! The Bible tells us that the church is His bride, not one or two denominations. Let’s get that record straight!
Last month, various denominations pulled strings and hosted Pastor Greg Laurie and musician Rebecca St. James at the Christchurch Town Hall for an amazing night of evangelism. Good grief, did I say various? I hope that serves an example that different denominations can work together without debate. It can be done.

Hypocrisy within the Church
It is no surprise that we as Christians are constantly bombarded with accusations of hypocrisy. And our usual inclination is to bite back and charge that it is all lies. And I know I can find a number of biblical texts to throw at the accusers, but let’s hit the pause button. If I did that, would I not be fuelling their flames? To fight fire with fire, I would not be winning a soul for Christ; I would instead be proving that I am no different to everyone else. Instead, would it not make sense to listen to what the charge is? I mean, we can’t deny what Capill did.
Allow me to quote a second time from the same post:

…its just that in the world and the church these things
are so relaxed. That said, if we as church relax
whatever rules and laws are we not in danger
of becoming hypocrites…(2)

This is what the church in Corinth did 2000 years ago, and (sadly) this is repeated in so many churches. In 1 Cor 5, we have an account of a member who is practising an abhorrent sexual sin. While we probably don’t have church members (congregation and worship team, there is no distinction) doing that sort of thing, most churches these days are affected with the cancer I like to call tolerance. Churches have become lax. Churches are tolerant of sin. Dare I say this?
If you disagree with that comment, take a look at your church, and tell me that you don’t have the following:

Openly gay ministers.

Fornicators on the worship team. (3)

Preachers who don’t practice what they preach.

Pornographers on the ministry team.

People in the church (ministry and congregation) that you know are living un-Christ like lives, turning up to church, and thinking everything is ok.

I realise I have been incredibly blunt in my listings, but what more can I do? The church has a problem, and I’ve listed some things that I have seen and heard happen within the Church. For instance, that last one strikes out. I know a lot of people that firmly believe that they can live their lives any way they want, turn up to church, think they are cleansed from all sin, and then go and do it all again.

I’ll stop my rant here and wait for the oncoming storm of comments. But before you leave a nasty comment (if you plan on writing a nasty one), stop and think for a moment. Has anything I’ve said been an outright lie? Or do I actually have a point? Is there an actual problem with Christianity out there? And if there is, what are we prepared to do about this problem?

Someone suggested being more like Christ. I say we invest our lives – and our lifestyles – in that achievement.

Notes:
(1) See http://youraveragechristian.blogspot.com/2005/10/lets-get-controversial-part-2.html.
(2) ibid.
(3) To get a better understanding, I recommend either Maximised Manhood (Edwin Louis Cole) or I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Joshua Harris).

The Pain Within My Heart

2005-09-29T22:32:00.000+12:00

I realise that for some visitors to my blog, it could seem strange that I am bringing this up. But this is my little corner of cyberspace after all, and in this instance I’m expressing how I’m feeling at the moment. Your prayers are appreciated, because I’m finding this process incredibly painful. In fact, it’s more painful than past experiences like it.
It’s been three weeks since my girlfriend and I broke up. Although we still communicate (which is good), and still have a good friendship (which is also good), I have to admit and be honest with myself…I miss her!
Since the breakup, we have seen each other twice; once to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (awesome movie), then coffee afterwards, and briefly tonight before I went into a game of Laser Strike (she was just coming out of one). But I want to touch on the movie time. Spending time with her was a blessing, no doubt about that. But the time we did share that day really hit my heart. It made me realise just how much I do miss spending time with her. If I had to be totally honest, my total honesty would then be expressed in two parts. Part one: I want her back! And Part two: I want to get over her!
Just one problem – I can’t have both. With God’s help, I want to be released from the pain that this breakup has brought. I have had many breakups in the past, but none have been as painful as this. Most of the time I have felt the pain straight away, and by this time have gotten over it. But this one has done the reverse, namely that I have been fine in the first two weeks…then it’s hit me hard! And it is hurting me inside. There has been many times as of recent where I’ve wanted to sit down by myself and cry, but I have been unable to. I’m sure one day I will be free from all this, by the power and grace of God. But for the moment, I am in emotional pain. I admit this freely.

Please pray for me, my friends. I need you all! This isn’t a statement of weakness. It is a declaration of need.

Student turned Author?

2005-09-27T17:54:00.000+12:00

Today saw the completion of one of my assignments, namely that of my Spirituality for Ministry class.
For this assignment, we (my classmates and I) each had to choose a topic relevant to our own ministry. For me, that meant that I could write on a topic that was close to me. It is a topic I’ve posted here before – Discipleship. In this assignment, I’ve explored four different aspects of Discipleship…

As Spirituality (how Discipleship affects the individual)

As Community (how Discipleship affects a small group setting)

As Evangelism (taking Discipleship to the masses)

And as Ecclesiology (how Discipleship affects the Church)

To be quite honest, once I got going I was having an absolute blast writing up this assignment. But I quickly discovered that I was limited to my word count. Instead of my limit of 1500 words, I found myself wanting to write a whole heap more on the subject. Given the choice, I would most likely have written not only more than 1500 words, but explored more than the four points I’ve mentioned. As I’ve said previously: Discipleship is a passion topic for me. But if I’ve found myself wanting – and doing – more than 1500 words, then I’m doing something right!
At some stage in my life, hopefully sooner rather than later, I’d like to write a book on this subject. I’d like to write a book exploring Discipleship in today’s 21st Century Church, look at where things are going right, where things are going wrong, and seek to find a resolute. That’s my plan, but to be honest, I have no idea how to write a book. I know it sounds stupid, but man is it true. I’ve talked to Steve Taylor about writing a book, and his advice for me was to just “write”. I guess things like blogging are great ways to practice my writing skills.
Who knows? There might just be an author in me yet. Watch this space!

Hello to Holidays

2005-09-27T17:43:00.000+12:00

So the holidays are finally here…or should I say “holidays”?
For me, “holidays” is best translated as “no lectures”. Rather than attend Bible College today for lectures, I turned up instead to tackle some of my assignments. Currently I have three assignments I need to get written up and handed in by the end of next week. I did have four, but thankfully today saw me chalk up 1-0. Good stuff!
I like holidays. It’s always nice to have a break from the hassles of everyday life, and just be able to take time out. Holidays are also a great opportunity to get working on things you can’t normally do in normal routine. For example, I’ve always wanted to go back to Aimtru for some archery. On the other hand, I also need to refill my ink cartridges. I’ve also got a letter to write to a friend in Northern Ireland, and many other things too.

Y’know, all of a sudden, I have more on my hands than just assignments =)

The 100-Minute Fiasco

2005-09-23T18:45:00.000+12:00

I read a report in today’s Press. I had heard about it at my home group, but on page 5 of the World section its own report was to be found. I had expressed concern over it at cell group – briefly – and I make no bones about how I felt about it after reading this news report.
Basically, someone has written The 100-Minute Bible, a Bible – they say – gives the overall message without “the boring bits”. The “boring bits” by their definition, are where genealogies are recorded (Matthew 1, Numbers 1-5 et al.), as well as other areas that one would find ‘boring’. It also shortens parts of the Bible as well.
I have a beef against this, for several reasons…
One, I believe that the true message of the Bible is lost in this 100-Minute rewrite.
Two, the “boring bits” allow transition from one phase to another. For instance, a boring bit would be the genealogy of Noah’s descendants. And let’s face it: there are a lot of kids in Noah’s line. But this allows the reader to trace from Noah to Abraham! Similar genealogies trace from Abraham to Jesus – you get the idea.
Third, I also believe that this Bible has come about as a result of a narcissistic, “impatient” society. By that I mean that society as a whole is bent on getting quick, easy answers now! And this mindset has been transferred onto the Bible, and the Bible has been grossly attacked. I wouldn’t disagree that this 100-Minute Bible is very easy to read, but I would disagree that the original message has been retained. You only need to look at The Message to see what I mean.
Do I sound old-fashioned? Maybe I do. But I would prefer the complete work of the Logos, than settle for a vastly cut-down version of what looks like salvation. If the message – God’s Message - truly has been lost, then this 100-Minute Bible will not provide salvation.

My Calling, My Issue

2005-09-20T22:16:00.000+12:00

Today was probably one of the best classes I’ve had for “Spirituality for Ministry”. In class, we had two different ‘interactive’ components, both of which were similar to the Myers-Briggs indicators we did earlier in the semester. One indicator was on our particular gifting (it wasn’t an exhaustive list, just a basic one), and the other was on our core values. My post is mainly touching on the former.
To my surprise, the gifting indicator was reflective of what I am most passionate about. Rather than be strong in one area, I had two. These were:

Teaching

Stimulating the Faith of Others

If I had to simplify the second one, I would use the word discipleship. For me, one thing that is so incredibly close to my heart is strengthening fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. For me this is definitely a good thing; it’s as if I have identified my calling (see previous posts). But I was on my way home via the Orbiter bus route, having a chat to God, and this is what came out…

I realise that the Christian walk is far, far bigger than my two gifts. Yet when I look at the world, and see/hear about things like injustice issues, oppression, the poor and needy and the like, I do not feel passionate about these things. Do these issues – and more like them – concern me? For sure! Would I like to do something about them? You bet! Is it an area of passion for me? The answer for me would be ‘no’. Does that make me any less of a committed Christian? I sure hope not.

Your comments are appreciated. How can I – a man incredibly passionate about building up fellow believers – reconcile the bigger picture of Jesus’ commands to His disciples?

Winter Wonderland =D

2005-09-19T16:16:00.000+12:00

Isn’t it amazing how much the weather can affect a person? I woke up this morning to the sound of my radio. I heard on the 7am newsreel that Otago had collected quite an amount of snow, and I thought to myself heck, that’s quite close to here. Little did I know that as I entered the bathroom for my morning shower, I glanced out the window and commented to myself that things look a little whiter than usual. I opened the window and to my utter surprise – there it was: snow! Snow snow snow!!!! =D
I love snow. It’s not exactly a regular occurrence to Christchurch. And when it is, it hits the port hills but never hits the ground. Not so today!
Brings back memories of ’92…I hope there’s more to come. Well, at least here in Christchurch. My thoughts and prayers are with the hard-working Farmers – people that could do without this sort of weather during Lambing.

1 Corinthians 13

2005-09-18T21:20:00.000+12:00

I realise that I have given this post a seriously cheesy title. I mean c’mon – we all know exactly what Bible passage that is. But I’ve given this post the title because tonight’s service put a whole new spin on it. And before you read any further, I encourage you to stop reading this, grab your Bible and turn to the verse that the title suggests…

* * * * *

Tonight I got a bit of a “wake-up” call. I have read this passage more times than I can count on both hands and feet, heard it preached more times than the 20-times table, heard it at many weddings…yet tonight I heard it in a way I have never heard it before. And it made perfect sense.
I’ll be brash: I’ve forgotten my first love. I have gone through my faith as of recent (and parts of late) with a stale love for God, and a stagnant love for the works of His hands – which includes people. Tonight rammed home to my heart that I have had a less-than-optimal Christian life. Sure, I’ve sang my throat dry (as was the case at PK), read my Bible every night, studied the Word at Bible College. Yet…something was missing. Something in my Christian walk wasn’t existent. And tonight it came to me. The incredibly profound truth was at the same time childishly simple! All God has called us to do…is love! We are called to love one another as God loved – and loves – us. Everything else – prophecy, tongues, mercy, helping, discipleship, teaching – stems from the one foundation that will never disappear. And that foundation is love! And it is a foundation that I pray I can make the foundation of my life.

Thank you, O God, for tonight’s message. I needed it…

Election Day

2005-09-17T14:26:00.000+12:00

Today is Election Day – the day that we as New Zealanders get a say in where the country’s going for the next three years.
Priase God that we have the privilege of a Democracy, and that we do actually get to vote! Many countries in the world do not have this system of government (Tonga, North Korea, the 55 Muslim Nations, et al), and for that I give thanks that I as a citizen of New Zealand – and the earth – have the right to vote.
About three hours ago I put my two ticks on the paper, joined by as many as 2.8 million others around the country. I couldn’t help but notice that today took on a seemingly different aura than most other days. That could be because tomorrow’s going to be different, in more ways than one.
Isn’t it funny that two little ticks mean so incredibly much? Isn’t it crazy to think that the two “most powerful” ink splotches are those we stick on the ballot paper?
I myself am not an apt fan or follower of Political Science, but there is one thing that is undeniable: My place in New Zealand is going to be shaped by how the country is run. Be it Labour, National, or even another party you choose, it is their policies and their interests that will be brought not only into government, but outworked in society. We will feel the impact for the next three years.
My advice: vote! We have the choice – please choose to.

"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Hearing From God

2005-09-15T21:01:00.000+12:00

I am currently in a state of confusion. Not in the sense that I have absolutely no idea of what to do with my life. Nor in the sense that there are a billion things floating around in my head, unable to focus on one single thought. I am confused about how to hear from God.
Some of you reading this post may think that I haven’t enough faith, and so it’s no wonder I cannot hear from him. I’ve had that told to me a couple of times in the distant past. I know from various past experiences in my Christian pilgrimage that I have felt the tugging of the Holy Spirit, or a picture or vision that has seldom failed. But at present, I am confused. And I’ll tell you why…
As most of you know, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship last weekend. Despite breaking up, we both believe that this is the best thing for us, and that the only foolish thing would be to lose the friendship. And believe me – there’s no way I’d ever want to lose that! But since that time, I have felt the Lord speaking to me. I can only describe it as the Lord…yet I have absolutely no idea what He’s trying to tell me. I admit that I lack the discernment able to discover firstly, is it God speaking. And secondly, if it is Him, what is He trying to communicate to me.
It is difficult to express in words exactly what I’m feeling. I think confusion is the best single word I can put down. I know I’m not alone in this – a lot of people would like to know “secrets into hearing from God”. Sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t know any. All I know is that God speaks to people in different ways, and as I have discovered, ways in which are sensitive to the individual. I used “pictures and visions” because that is the primary way I hear from God. Yet this “tugging” has nothing to do with pictures! So I constantly ask to God in prayer: If this is You, what are you trying to tell me?

Where To From Here?

2005-09-12T23:05:00.000+12:00

I write this post no longer as a boyfriend of someone, but as a single person, and I guess the title says it all really.
I have had an amazing relationship that I can only describe as God-blessed. It is a shame that things couldn’t have worked out, but I think that the decision to break up is the best decision. I can now only look ahead in front of me and ask: God, what have you got in store for me today? While I would have liked things to have been solved, nonetheless I am now in a unique position to devote my time and energies to worshipping and serving God as a single. Until the day I become a boyfriend of someone, I want to give my time to God, and serve Him with an undivided heart.

That is the answer to my post. That is the where to from here…

A Serious Rant!

2005-09-08T21:00:00.000+12:00

Today I found out that I am – apparently – “intimidating”.
I don’t mean it in the sense that I am the size of a nightclub bouncer, or a Fijian rugby player. Actually, I’m something of a ‘stick’ than a ‘rock’. Let me explain…
I was at College today, the first day I actually made it to College. The previous two days of my College week saw me stuck at home nursing a massive headcold, but thankfully I can say I’m much better. Anyway, I was chatting to someone at College, and she made an interesting comment. She had heard someone else say: “That Ryan knows his Bible…” Now, if I leave it at that, what was said is a compliment. Sadly, she also added that the person who spoke those words was actually intimidated by that. Two things: Firstly, that hurts. While knowing your Bible is probably a very noble thing to be known for, nevertheless it guts me to know that somehow that affects a fellow brother or sister in Christ – for the worse. Why the intimidation? The only reason I “know” the Bible is because for the last four and a half years I have read it, let it soak into my being, let my life be shaped by it, and follow its teachings. What the heck is wrong with that? What’s so sinful about knowing your Bible?
And secondly, it raises the following issue, which originally wasn’t going to be a part of this “rant”, but it’s worth thinking about…

If you saw a Christian who you knew was involved in blatant unchristlike stuff, you would judge him to be a false Christian, right? As Christians, we are expected to follow Jesus, our ultimate example of a perfect and holy God. So you could say we are expected to be perfect. After all, there’s scriptural evidence of this. But here’s the problem, and I have also been labeled this as well! Say you saw a Christian who you knew was living a pure, blameless, holy, perfect life. Would you shake him by the hand and thank God for this example of Christian witness? I dear say you would not! Instead, you would scoff and say something like: Who do YOU think you are? How can you be sooo perfect! We would most likely rebuke him, jealous of his achievement to live out Jesus’ calling of holiness.

My question is: WHY DO WE DO THAT? Why do we stop fellow believers in reaching for perfection? Is it out of our reach? Are we that narrow to think that it can’t be done? If we believe in a God who factioned the universe ex nihilo, worked miracles through ordinary people, came to earth in human form, and worked His Spirit into the Church, then isn’t it reasonable to conceive that it IS possible to live a perfect, blameless life?

So many people would answer with a resounding “no”…

Headcolds suck

2005-09-06T14:11:00.000+12:00

Headcolds! I don’t like them. Never have, never will.
Today was supposed to be me going to College; instead I end up stuck at home because of an illness. Sure, I get the day off and sure, I get to do my own thing. But I don’t like being stuck at home. I have a computer in my room, a TV with video player in the lounge…and I’m bored stiff!
Still, having an illness does have its benefits. For example, you have no choice but to take it nice and slow. You also get to reflect on life, because when you’re involved in the fast-paced game of life it is incredibly hard to reflect “on the run”. So it is with me today: I can’t go fast, so I guess I’m stuck with my lovely headcold until it passes.
Hopefully tomorrow…

Happy Fathers Day

2005-09-04T08:29:00.000+12:00

Happy Fathers Day to you all…well, particularly if you’re a Dad. And speaking of Dads, let’s take time out to thank our Lord and God for being an awesome Father to us.

Happy Fathers Day, God!
Thank you very much for being my Dad over these past four and a half years. Thank you especially that you will continue to be my Dad – you have promised to never leave me, never turn away from me. And if I as much as turn away from you God, you’re always there…waiting for me to come home.
Happy Fathers Day, Heavenly Father.
Amen!

What A Weekend!

2005-09-03T23:00:00.000+12:00

I’ve just returned from what I can only describe as being the time of my life! I went along to Promise Keepers with some friends from College, one of whom had been for many years previous. Despite all that I had been told, PK had to be experienced…and I wasn’t disappointed!
In a time when I needed God the most, God showed up at Promise Keepers. I have never heard anything as special and as sacred as two thousand men, from all walks of life, raise their voice to God. Trust me – it was an incredible atmosphere that our Lord would have easily have wiped tears from His eyes. It was that amazing at PK.
With all that said and done, the tough part of PK begins. I am required to walk in God’s ways and God’s truths. I am required to stand firm against the enemy and prayerfully fight him at all costs. I am required to be accountable to the people close to me who I can trust in times of crises. Why do I say ‘required’? Because if I don’t, I’m gonna drop dead…spiritually. I’ll be picked off like a duck at a shooting gallery if I don’t take a stand!
If there’s one thing I am most certainly carrying with me from PK, it’s this: We Christian Men need to stick together!

Amen!

Overwhelmed!

2005-08-31T21:58:00.000+12:00

I have just come back from “Earthquakes from Whispers” utterly overwhelmed! EFW was a prayer meeting like no other. My Church has overseas missionaries that we support, working in various countries in the East. These countries in fact, are home mainly to the religion of Islam. The prayer meeting was set up as ‘stations’, where each station was a representation of a different country. It was amazing to see all the different countries being prayer for and over, and also the different prayer needs for each country (though there were some similarities).
What struck me most – and the image is still fresh in my head – were two photos in the Bangladesh station. These photos were of young Christians who were martyred in June this year for showing the Jesus Film. It was horrifying to say the least looking at these photos of two battered, beaten, bloodied bodies (in some parts you could actually see bone)! And this is actually happening in the world – even as I write this post.
I think I got something of a small ‘awakening’ tonight, looking at each of these countries and their situations. My prayer is that I forever learn from what I have seen tonight.

The Elderly

2005-08-31T17:52:00.000+12:00

I love talking to elderly people. I say this because today I have been reminded of this fact.
I visited my old landlords after College today as a ‘catch-up’. Incidentally, they are the grandparents of my best mate, and I get on quite well with his family – always a plus. They are both in their early 80’s, and they have some awesome stories to share. It’s interesting to hear them when they talk, because Betty (the Grandmother) is the one who shares mostly about how God has worked in her life, and in the marriage that she and Harold share. Not to say of course, that Harold is less inclined to share his Godly stories. But what a breath of fresh air it was to visit them today. I had meant to see them since I moved out of my old flat, but never quite made it.
I love talking to them and listening to them for two reasons. There are more, but these are the main two. Firstly, I never got to know my grandparents, save one. I had always had a close relationship with Nana (Dad’s Mum), and I’ve had to deal with having a hole inside of me after her passing away last year, as you could imagine. Harold and Betty – in all respect – are the closest people I have to grandparents. They will never take the place of Nana, but wonderful it is, knowing I can call on them.
Secondly, it’s awesome to listen to the stories of where they’ve each come from, both as individuals and as Husband and Wife. Their stories absolutely reek of ‘Wisdom’. Of course I’m in a bit of a bind in that regard: whatever I’m going through, chances are it isn’t all that new to them =)
Praise God for the elderly. Society may not give them due credit, but I will always take my hat of to them. They are a blessing. Especially to a young pup like me.

A Lesson from Sonny

2005-08-30T22:20:00.000+12:00

I have a workmate at Window Treatments by the name of Sonny. Allow me to tell you a bit about him…

Sonny is a kind, elderly Chinese man, about 60 years old (or ‘young’ as I tell him). He works in the Vertical Dept. as a track maker, and pretty adept at it. Sonny is someone whom you can have a gentle, peaceful discussion on. Sonny is also a Church-goer, attending a Presbyterian Church (I couldn’t tell you where sorry – I don’t quite know). Whenever Sonny has a question to do with Christianity (or Theology in general), I’m usually the first guy he comes to…mainly because I’m the only other Christian in the workplace (and there’s 50 people who work at the factory).
I also recently discovered that Sonny doesn’t have a friend as such. I found this out by asking him how his weekend was. He told me it was quite boring, and went on to tell me that he went to Church on the Sunday, and that was basically it! In other words, he didn’t do a thing in the weekend. I asked him why that was, and also a little bit about his Church (to the point, I asked him if there were small groups, or friends at the Church). It was that question that bore out the truth. My heart fell.
Here is a man who is 60 years old, and doesn’t know anything socially outside of work and Sunday service. It is no wonder my heart fell, and yet a question stuck in my mind: What am I to do? Essentially, there is probably nothing that I can do.
I write this post as a lesson we can all learn. For all we know, a ‘nobody’ in the eyes of society may wander into our Church doors without us even knowing it. In search of fellowship, of friendship, he instead finds loneliness, and leaves only to continue in his empty world. What a tragedy!
Sonny has asked me many questions, and I have managed to provide an answer for every one, satisfying his need. For once, I ask a question, and go away stumped.

My prayer is that Sonny can find a friend and fellowship. My prayer is that we can be a friend to those who have none.

A Reflection: One Week To Go...

2005-08-29T17:08:00.000+12:00

The first week of my two week ‘break’ is over; one more to go and then I’ll know where things are at.
I realise that my posts have taken something of a ‘one-track mindedness’ about it, and that’s for a good number of reasons. First, this of course is my little corner of cyberspace, and I will express myself accordingly on it. Second, this is a big deal to me. Not only does she mean a lot to me, these two weeks also have brought about a change in me. I guess for both of us this time has – and will become – a learning curve. It is only a question of what we have learnt from our time apart from each other.
For me, I think I have reached a point where I am comfortable ‘with the worst’. Yes I don’t want it to come to that, but if it does then I know that Jesus is still Lord. Whether I’m still going out with her or rendered single in a week’s time, I know that God is still God. I know He still loves me as I am, and that it won’t be the end of the world.

Praise God!

Crazy Mary

2005-08-26T21:59:00.000+12:00

A friend of mine came round today, with an FM Static CD. One of the songs played really struck me, and I’ve been listening to it courtesy of the FM Static web site. This song sums up beautifully what I’m going through…

* * * * *

Crazy Mary is a slow girl who looks up to no one.
Would do anything for a cold one.
Wishes she could find her way home.
Got the look on her face and the stare of a ray gun.
We walked by everyday
and I wish there was something I could do for her.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.

She watches the world pass her by like a freight train.
They all call her the same name.
Laughin' as they point and stare at her.
So she crys out to God up in Heaven,
been prayin since she was 11.
For Him to send someone to meet her there.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.

And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.

A Reflection: My Relationship

2005-08-25T22:17:00.000+12:00

I’m in something of a dichotomy.
As many of you may know (if you either know me or are a frequent visitor), my girlfriend and I aren’t on speaking terms. This isn’t me saying that we are “on the rocks” as such. She has taken time out from things to sort out areas and problems in her life, and I have – for my part – backed off to give her that time that she needs. Now usually, my reaction to something of this nature is to crawl up, go into a shell and go into a “woe is me” state. Instead, I’m doing the opposite.
Since the start of the weekend (when the ‘space’ began), I have coped quite well with the ordeal. Knowing full well that I can’t text, ring or meet her, instead of getting depressed, I’ve gone the other way; I’ve been having great day after great day. And to be honest, I don’t know why!
I mean not to sound all spiritual, but only by the Grace of God am I being sustained the way I am. Only by Him am I able to keep a brave vigil, facing every day with a smile like I have been. Yes, I worry about her. Yes, I care about her deeply. You bet I want to talk to her, find out how she is. Instead I can’t do that, for in caring for her I am backing off, for her sake.
That of course isn’t my dichotomy. The problem is, is that because I don’t want to lose her as my girlfriend (if possible), I also don’t want to arrive at a point in my life where I can live life without her. They say “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but absence also runs the risk of taking away from the heart any feelings we have for each other, which is what I fear.
I fear that in her…and I fear that in myself. If at the end of two weeks our relationship ends, then may it end for the right reasons; not because our feelings disappear with time.

Your thoughts and prayers are always appreciated. Thank you to all who have prayed for us, and thank you in advance if you do from this day on.
The Grace of God be with you all.

Prayer

2005-08-24T23:06:00.000+12:00

“Is prayer your steering wheel, or your spare tire?”
- Corrie Ten Boom

At the moment in my home group, we are working through a study on ‘Decisions’, and no sooner had we started this quote was spoken. And it made for an interesting ten minute discussion.
Corrie is making a distinction between the believer who submits their decisions to God in prayer, and the believer who prays “when they need it”. Let’s face it – you don’t need a spare tire unless one in use goes flat. And let’s be honest – most of the time when we play heartfelt, fervent prayers, we either want something, or are going through a rough patch in our lives. And when all is well, we don’t tend to pray as much. Is this you?
I know I can resonate with Corrie’s quote. I’m going through a patch myself, and prayer has taken the forefront in this time of need. And if I look back to before this patch, my prayers weren’t nearly as frequent.
In the context of our home group study, we all are guilty of this. We all too often make up our own minds, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But how often do we involve God in our decision-making? God wants the best for us; that much is obvious. He loves us to bits, unconditionally. But He also wants to know how we’re getting along, how we’re finding life, what makes us tick and what ticks us off. In short, God wants to know what’s up. How often do we long to make lofty, spiritual prayers, when all He wants is us to come to Him as we would a friend? The God that entered into our existence, entered into our pain, wants to enter into our lives and our hearts.

Let’s make prayer our steering wheel!

Discipleship

2005-08-24T16:49:00.000+12:00

Discipleship.
It is my number one topic, and also my number one pet hate.
Earlier I made a post titled ‘My Calling’. If you have read that post (as well as my Real v Nominal post), then you will have some idea by now that I am big on the idea of Discipleship. I’m big on it for many reasons. First off, Jesus himself is the ultimate embodiment of Discipleship. He is indeed the man to emulate. If we are to take seriously His claim that ‘…if you have seen me, you have seen the Father [God]’, then surely it is worth our lives to reach this goal. By that token, Discipleship is concerned with becoming like Jesus; becoming Christlike!
Secondly, I’m big on it because someone has to be. There are 1,200,000,000 (out of 2,000,000,000) people in the world that profess to be Christians, yet live a lifestyle in the opposite direction. And to be honest, it frustrates me. My hope is that it frustrates you too.
Am I being too harsh? Is what I write in this post offensive? If this post strikes a chord with you, ask yourself: Why do I react the way I do? Is it because you simply don’t like the idea that there are ‘false’ Christians out there? Or, dare I ask, are you one of them?
For all I know, I might be part of the problem rather than its solution. I would much prefer to examine my life, identify the things in it that choke my walk with God, and proceed to do something about it.

Are you?

Two Weeks From Now...

2005-08-21T17:36:00.000+12:00

My girlfriend and I had a talk today. She's currently got a lot on her plate at the moment, and feels that she needs to take some time away to prioritise her life. For her, this means a period of change, a time of reflection and prayer, a time that God really needs to come to the party on. For me it could mean that in two weeks I may or may not have a girlfriend...

She has asked for some space and some time to sort things out, and I am going to cease contact with her for the next two weeks, in honor of her request. To be honest I don't want to think that I could be single. For those that know me, you will know how much she means to me. It is my feelings for her that will carry me through this difficult time. It is my feelings for her that will honor her with the much needed space she wants.
It is going to be a turbulent time, one full of uncertainties and questions. For you, the reader, I ask that you pray not only for me, but please give the lion's share of prayer to her during this time. I feel that it is her that needs the prayer the most. I simply want to get to the end of two weeks and still be that pillar of support for her, to still be her "man". But in facing the possibility of a break-up, I may have to prepare myself. Obviously I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to continue battling issues.
I guess the next two weeks are going to be a time of soul-searching for the both of us. Not just as a couple, but in our individual lives primarily. While we both get space to seek God with all of our hearts, my hope and prayer is that not only she comes out the other side better off, but our hearts may be as one.

To those close to me: you know who you are. I'll need you guys for these next couple of weeks. Thank you for being there =)

'Real' vs 'Nominal'

2005-08-20T16:26:00.000+12:00

Am I a 'real' or a 'nominal' Christian?

I recently started a new class at Bible College last Wednesday: Foundation for Mission. Basically, the course is as the name suggests, and on Wednesday we had our introductory lecture. My lecturer started off with a powerpoint slide show outlining a whole lot of statistics, one of which inspired this post.
In the world's population (6 Billion), 33% are Christian (2 Billion). However, out of that overall 33%, 20% are nominal Christians (1.2 Billion). That is, they are Christian 'in name only'. Added to this is the fact that Christianity is the third-fastest growing religion (behind Islam and Hinduism). I am left with the question: why is that? But also I am left with a hair-raiser: What am I?

Let's say for the moment I am a 'real' Christian. I am one who takes the words of Jesus, applies it not only to my own life, but also take opportunities to make a difference in someone else's life, no matter the impact. I hate that which is immoral or wrong, and 'Sin' is something I take seriously.
But let's also flip this proverbial coin. What if I'm a 'nominal' Christian? That would mean that I turn up to Church on Sunday and proceed to 'play the devil' six days a week. I acknowledge that I have sinful areas in my life, but I also acknowledge that I do sin deliberately. If you were asked to distinguish me from the crowd, I would be no different to the Atheist down the road. Jesus is who he said he was, but that makes little impact in my life. I swear, get drunk some weekends, get into trouble on some occasions...and then turn up to Church, thinking everything's going to be alright.

Can you see the picture forming? Out of 2 Billion Christians, 61% of that number are nominal! It's no wonder the stats show Christianity as #3...and it is also falling. And recalling my opening sentence, what am I? Am I part of the problem? Or am I part of the solution?